bash.org archive

<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk
and not just see the captions???

<Zaratustra> Pagan pacman goes WICCA WICCA WICCA WICCA
<Zaratustra> HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
<MightyQuinn> hmmm. more ammo for ultra conservative
christians to use against video gomes... "Pacman promotes
satanism"
<Zaratustra> Pacman promotes consumption of undead.

[+Elkrider] Goat, my name's on the JW blacklist for well over
10 years now.
[+Elkrider] Almost 15, I think.
[+Elkrider] One day they rang at my door. Two women, one about
50 and ugly, the other one around 20 and very pleasant to look
at.
[+Elkrider] When they started to talk, I interrupted and said
the following, immortal words....
[+Elkrider] "Hold a minute. Before we keep talking, the young
one will come in and give me a blowjob. If it's good, we can
talk. Agreed?"
[+Elkrider] Perfect win-win situation.
[+Elkrider] Either they piss off or I get a blowjob.

<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she
wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?

<Chairboy> Windows Me is the kind of OS even a catholic would
abort

<A_Witt> it's 1:45 am and I swear I just heard somone walking
down the street playing a trumpet

<L0ne_W0lf> I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card
into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I
inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was
shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

<frumpy> I see nintendo's new system is making people smile.
<frumpy> it's only a matter of time before a GTA ports comes
out with the title 'Now you can *really* beat that nigga up
and take his car!'
<frumpy> I'll bet is sells millions of copies while parents
everywhere just throw their hands up and say things like 'what
am I supposed to do about it?!?!'
<SForce> they'll just be happy their kids are getting some
kind of exercise
<frumpy> 'yes honey.. I know he's in there beating up
prostitutes.. but remember when he used to just _sit_ there
and do it?'

<Alucard> and it was like love at first /whois

<@Blaxthos> can anyone see this ?
<@heath> no
<@jsb> no
<@Blaxthos> good
* Blaxthos heads to the women's locker room

<dsif0r> that lil clip dude
<dsif0r> that microsoft uses
<dsif0r> he rules.
<quish> ...
<quish> no he doesnt
<quish> he's annoying as hell
<dsif0r> yes he does
<dsif0r> he always cares about my feelings
<dsif0r> people just treat him like shit
<dsif0r> and hes only there to help.

JBroder873: here's a mindjob
JBroder873: what happens when an unstoppable force meets an
immovable object?
Key of Love II: it creates a rip in the very fabric of time
Key of Love II: which thus spawns a black hole.
JBroder873: ...damn.
Key of Love II: and kills a puppy.
JBroder873: ...awww.

kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise
tomorrow.
kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and fuck me
kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.

<JDigital> Dude, that's messed up, no way is Pikachu's dick
that big

* maria hurts
<maria> and whenever i close my eyes i can see scrolling
arrows and hear j-pop
<peterS> the first step toward getting rid of a ddr addiction
is to admit that you have a problem
<maria> yes, i do
<maria> one of the pads is broken

<MacMan> OMG GUYS GUESS WAT!!!
<The_Spaniard> Stupid is getting louder?

<BlackDeTh> this girl was taking e for the first time.. so i
knew what i had to do.. i made it a night she'll remember.
(and me too :D
<lux> she'll remember it as rape at the trial and you'll
remember it as consentual

<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass

<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue
circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it.
<Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem.

@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet (@eliaz`medal):
5 on each :: (@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?

<DjK> well, I noticed that the noise my kid makes when he gets
into a tantrum at the shops wanting chocolate is EXACTLY the
same noise he makes when I accidentally cut off the top of his
finger when he's helping me prepare the carrots.
<Rovie> ...
<DjK> and they say I'm a bad parent - but I notice these
little things!

<RatingsQ> WHOA I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE
<RatingsQ> d00d what if you had this dude, typing on IRC...
<RatingsQ> but if he falls below 55 words per minute, dalnet
explodes?

<Rault> I smoked weed through an apple for the first time
today :D
<Madcowfucker> thats nothing
<Madcowfucker> you haven't lived until you inject herion with
a banana

[reidman   ) why is there an ad for Windows Media Player on
the Apple Quicktime site??
[|Dan|     ) god only knows why
[|Dan|     ) and he's laughing

<FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how
much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with
information, compared to when it was empty. <FirebirdGM> The
guy that was on the phone told me that it was only a few
pounds difference.
<FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.

<ding0> ahahahahaahahahahah i was just taking a huge piss and
my mom says from behind me "wow jack! your getting big", i was
like, OH MY GOD wtf, and then i finished and turned around and
she was looking at the size on my shoes, whew!!

* Uther has joined #Elicoor
<Uther> bah!
<Uther> fucking disconnected my ass
<Lucca> Wow, if you take that to be an actual,
grammatically-correct sentence, it's really rather wrong.

<Myren> someone ping flood this bastard please: 127.0.0.1
<darthv> ok
*** darthv has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

<Seikun> My friend (mike) bought a sword and bb guns in the
states. he tried to bring them over to canada. and they said
"the bb guns are a replica of the real ones. so you can't
bring them in." "but you can take the sword, because thats not
really considered a weapon"

SomethingTrifty: I'm vegetarian for a different reason
SomethingTrifty: It's not because I like animals
SomethingTrifty: i just fucking hate plants

<ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
<Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
<Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there.

*** Now talking in #caps
<Gets> IS THIS FINALLY THE RIGHT CHANNEL?

<michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> good if you like to asked me
anything pleazse feel free to asked ok? i have noi oproblem
with communitcating
<michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> with othere's here
<Cid> ...I think that's a matter of opinion.

<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor
<Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT

<feste_> I had a traditional thanks giving..invited the
neighbors over for dinner..then killed them and took their
land!!

Swift: top ten things I have to do before I die
Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye
X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list

<GPF> i have your ip i will get my friend to hack you
ahahahahah
<CommanderStab> Muahaha you have fallen into my evil trap, do
you know what IP stands for?!
<CommanderStab> I stands for "Internet Police" and if you try
to hack into it you will be arrested by the Internet Police!!!
<GPF> thats not true
<GPF> is it??
<GPF> shit i better tell my friend not to hack into the other
ips i gave him
-!- GPF [email protected] has left #lobby
<CommanderStab> Stupidity - the ONLY effective anti-hacker
method.
<tryon> lol

<Psinic> windows 98 is like that drunk uncle that thinks he
knows everything and always tries to convince you he was a CIA
operative, and when you argue, he gets violent and then passes
out.

<herman> its easy as abxc

<Rafa> A Pirate walks into a bar.
<Rafa>The bartender says "Hey youve got a steering wheel in
your crotch."
<Malkatov> The pirate says "Arrrr its driving me nuts"

<@Dogpile> 88. Who recorded "Join Together" in 1972?
<Tback> like who knows these
<@Dogpile> Tback got the answer: the who. In: 2.43 secs.
Streak: 1. Current wins 23!

<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?

<Vorpy> seriously, "alote"? what is your first language?
<Vorpy> do you buy ingredients at a shoppe?
<Vorpy> ye olde shoppe?
<Vorpy> is where ye buye ye goodes?
<Vorpy> muche goodes are needed with whiche to cooke
<Vorpy> to cooke alote of foodes, ye neede alote of goodes
from ye olde shoppe

<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????////////////////////////////////////////////////
///
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\
/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\
\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude

<Johnno> my favorite animal is the scapegoat

<[AFT]^Kempi> what really got her mad was....
<[AFT]^Kempi> when i was burning a CD and got up from sex 1/2
way through and changed the cd
<[AFT]^Kempi> she didn't talk to me for a while

BogoMips: trying to figure out why my scanner isn't installed
BogoMips: AHH.. NOT PLUGGED IN TO THE COMPUTER HAHAH
BogoMips: i wonder how i even manage to feed myself sometimes

<otto> so... whats everyone up to tonight?
<Sauron> I'm doing a few things; checking my ebay account,
cleaning the computer area, studying for a test in school
tomorrow, and eating these hot pockets.
<Sauron> and of course, IRCing like a mofo.
<XDA> masturbating
<Raven> Porn.
<fry> porn
<otto> "which one doesn't belong here..."

<nilson> I have 4.5 gallons of beer
<nilson> for my after prom party
<Advil> that's a lot of beer
<Advil> for two guys

<Naruto> It's always a haunted attic, isn't it?
<Naruto> It's never a haunted toliet that explodes with water
at 3am.
<Naruto> That would be the shit.
<Naruto> literally. >)
<Naruto> If I were a ghost, that's the kind of random shit I'd
do.
<Naruto> I'd open the fridge and take out all the mustard.
<Naruto> Then I'd hoard it and bring it back later and put it
in the dishwasher.
<Naruto> and the people would open it up "WTF?! There's 39
jars of mustard in here!"
<Naruto> and lawn flamingos
<Naruto> I would hoard those like nobody's business.
<Naruto> I'd be a fun ghost.

<the_JinX> Now, Play Russian Roulette In Bash, Just Run This
Line:
<the_JinX> [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo "You
live"
<psychosquee[]> the_JinX: What are the odds?
<the_JinX> 1 in 6 chance of removing your linux
* psychosquee[] has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<^sWift> haha

<Threeboy> it's cause we're all infected with IRC.
<mutatedjellyfish> speak for yourself
<mutatedjellyfish> im a scientific observer of the victims of
this "IRC"
<mutatedjellyfish> me and my associates are working on
developing a cure
<Threeboy> doc, we need 55cc's of social life, STAT!
<mach_one> NOOOOOOOO!
<mach_one> get that needle away from me!
* mach_one runs back to his cave
<mutatedjellyfish> restrain him!

<^NoS^Sikarian> you know
<^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past
week
<^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out?
<^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles
are like a little kid
<^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME!  LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D
=D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!"
<^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see
you"
<^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D"

<Hostility> so let me get this
<Hostility> ur in a room with ur comp
<Hostility> typing on a keyboard... not with ur fingers
<Hostility> but with ur face
<Hostility> with nothing on but a hat?
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> y6esw

<Farnarcle> I think the last place I would like to be beamed
is 'Up scotty'.

<Mike> We should have internet rings like Captain Planet.
<skauert> TCP, UDP, FTP, SSH, HTTP
<skauert> By your protocols combined
<skauert> I'm captain internet

<BChikapa> Holy shit. Calisa, are you watching this thing on
Fox
<Calisa> no.
<BChikapa> This guy was in a boat, and a swordfish JUMPED OUT
OF THE WATER AND STABBED HIM IN THE FACE.
<Calisa> [SA]HatfulOfHollow finally got them.
<BChikapa> I don't know if it's sadder that you made that
joke, or that I got it.

<Ambrosh> as a philosophy major I made sure that a job would
be opened for me after college
<Kin68ling> until people realized that they can pump their own
gas?

<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE?
<tegu> 1 2 3
<slip> K
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7
<tegu> erm
<slip> LOL
<tegu> 1 2 3
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7 8 9
<tegu> you go first
<slip> 1
<tegu> 5
<tegu> UR TURN
<slip> 4
<tegu> 7
<slip> 3
<tegu> 2
<slip> 9
<tegu> 8 gg
<slip> gg

<radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character
level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had
before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
<radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide
by zero error

USnip: today in english class
USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about
close friends
USnip: and she was like
USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?"
USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"?
USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to
YOU"

<neverrain> omg i went outside
<neverrain> i havent been outside in weeks
<neverrain> it was.....freaky
<c7r> nerd
<Axis100> I can usually determine the last time I went outside
by using /systemuptime.
<Axis100> 6 days, 28 mins and 16 seconds

[17:21:17] * Joins: jesus ([email protected])
[17:21:27] * Parts: jesus ([email protected])
<The_Defiance> ... o_O
<The_Defiance> So that was the second coming eh
<The_Defiance> short lived

<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for
a sock on your erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination.

<Theseus-> i love funk music so much... that sometimes i wish
i was black and then i remember that i might want to get a job
some day

<Jay 2 da K> no ill probably just get it for christmas
<cyberkk21> hah you jesus boy
<Jay 2 da K> what are you getting for ramadan, besides hungry

Explosions: why didnt' you come?
FlakGuitar: food poisoning
Explosions: what did you have
FlakGuitar: alcohol

<Jigsaw> a DVD and a CD are the same thing when they're blank
aren't they?
<Jarvik8> cds are made of pikachu skins

<dnc> yesterday ivana had some friends over, and they were
flicking through the tv channels, and accidentally hit the
input selector - and got the pc tv out input... and spent like
30 minutes watching me play halo thinking it was a tv show
<dnc> glad i wasnt looking at hardcore pr0n