bash.org archive

<Jessicaaa> :| well thats disserpointing
<Jessicaaa> anyone do the iq test thing on bbc1?
<Jessicaaa> i got dumb this year :'(
<Neodymium> I knew that from the minute you typed
'disserpointing'

<Rapture> Tsk, it's [new processors] as bad as penis
comparisons, really.
<rejs> but penises don't double in performance every 18
months...

<Twin`> magneto-optic media a laser heats up one side of the
disc
<Twin`> which induces a magnetic quality on the other side
<Twin`> the magnetic head then write to the surface while it's
heated
<Twin`> as for playback, the laser bounces light off it's
side, and thanks to the kerr effect, reads the information off
that way
<Fearless> Really.
<Fearless> I just put the disc in
<Fearless> and hit play
<Fearless> that also works

iamnotavirusbot: hi friend, check out my new profile: http://
jsc.uk.uy/progs/admin/virus.exe
iamnotavirusbot: what do you think?
iamnotavirusbot: ops i got to go by
Natural Defiance: What are you a f-in retard?

<randomguy99> What's a guy (like me) got to do to get +h or
higher around here?
<PPN[fp]> send cash
<PPN[fp]> :D
<randomguy99> Can't I just sleep with someone?
<PPN[fp]> all the ops are male
* randomguy99 is now known as randomchick99
<randomchick99> not a problem

<Lacan7>Oh. My bad. I'm so used to speaking english here that
I've become a tad rusty on my stupid.

<Enjoi> I broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't know
what 'modest' meant, so I know how you feel.
<Raven> modest? fuck modesty lol.
<Enjoi> No, she actually didn't know the meaning of the word
:P

<Sharkey> The rain in spain falls mainly on the spaniards.

UltimateGuidoAnchovy: Livejournal recently realized that it
could save bandwidth by eliminating all mood emoticons but
"angsty".

<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable
is?
<synec> 15ft?

<PeterGriffin> He's always playing that awful FFXI game
<PeterGriffin> Maybe when Madden 05 is released and he'll play
something else I'll go over regularly again, but I can't see
myself hanging out if all I get to do is watch him kill crabs
<Jakeoff> do MMORPGS even qualify as games?
<PeterGriffin> No, they're more like a treadmills that makes
you fatter

<arsebadger> hasbro should make a 9/11-tribute jenga twin-pack

<JDigital> Religion in Northern Ireland actually has only very
little to do with religion
<bee> is it more like stamp collecting
<Divine> Yes, except there are only two different stamps. And
they want to kill each other.

* FlipMeign is HELLA STRAIGHT
* CaliSean is STRAIGHTER
<soupking> straight? so's spaghetti till u heat it up.

*** Joins: meganpreg
([email protected])
<meganpreg> hi all
<Ghaleon> hello
<geoffh> meganpreg on #chatzone #chat #netsex #mindspring #
CheeseBurger #gameart #gamedev #FSEntertainment #india +#
pakistan #xxx
<geoffh> hungry bored pregnant looking-for-sex-chat muslim
woman (?) looking to develop interactive media in southern
asia while troubleshooting problems with her ISP
<MachinShi> lol

<kisama> and i'm feeling invisible, you can't see me anywhere.
*** kisama was kicked by Amanda^_^ (ensuring your
invisibility)

<Saveth> THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
AND PROPRIETARY AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN OUT OF THE COMPANY, OR
ACCESSED OR COPIED ELECTRONICALLY OUTSIDE OF THE COMPANY'S
E-MAIL SERVER.
<Saveth> Hmm.
<Saveth> Who wants a copy?
<jwbozzy> <--
<MrFalcon> <--
<res0> <--

<Method> good evening gentlemen.
<Method> would you like to play a game?
<Method> It's called "guess what intoxicated state I'm in".
<Method> It's really fun.
<Method> on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least, 2
being the most, and 10 being somewhere around the middle...

<splat1> ow ffs, you dl a key gen for a linux app and its a
flipping win32 exe ????
<reaper> splat1: ahahaha!
<reaper> pull out vmware!
<splat1> thats what i need the key for !!!

<sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in
emacs
<iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
<iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
<iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..

<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a
Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that
Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser

<ido> anywho, i'll go write my own
<ido> it should only take a few hundred lines of coke
<ido> i mean code...

<johnnyt> holy crap. have to do a 1500 word history essay
<heffalump75> hey u know the saying....
<heffalump75> just draw 1.5 pictures

<Whoever>So I'm sitting at the lunch table with mostly girls
and the conversation wanders about the usual subjects.
<Whoever>Eventually someone say the word "Jizz" And that goody
goody girl with the 4.0 GPA and who is very sweet and innocent
says, "whats jizz?"
<Whoever>Silence and muffled laughter ensues, one of the girls
says "Its something guys do."
<Whoever>So she says "...oh... okay.."
<Whoever>Next period, english class, miss clueless raises her
hand.
<Whoever>"Excuse me, can I go to the Lav, I have to Jizz."

<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so
unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he
would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples
frightens me

TRex-o: I want to settle an argument.  Am I an invasive
species?
sjackso: invasive species reproduce

<Mal> there were so many people using POP3 at DefCon... it was
obscene
<Mal> who the hell sends out a text password over a network
surrounded by FIVE THOUSAND hackers!?

*** Now talking in #funadultchat
<Megumi> i am ready to receive my fun

<amoeba> it's like Beverly Hills 63.217.26.3

<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience...
soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........

<chanman3> i was looking up slaves for a school project on
yahoo
<chanman3> on of the ads was: Buy and Sell "slaves" on E-bay.

<@bandXXX> HAHAHA clipse is on new justin timberlake album
<@bandXXX> sad thing is
<@Blaxthos> that you know this

<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes

<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.
<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile

<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?

<M> Almost got smacked today - saw a bright green truck and
said, "Hey, look, it's Optimus Lime."

<Niva> I bet whoever invented Jello did so because he had a
lot of friends who did acid, and really wanted to fuck with
them.
<Niva> "Hey, Matt, pour me a glass of water."
<Niva> "Sure man, I- HOLY SHIT!"
<Andolph> And just to tease them, they stuck all kinds of
stuff like doll heads and legs inside the jello
<Niva> Dude, this water isn't pouring?
<Niva> "What are you talking about? You're getting it all over
the floor!" "IT'S STILL IN THE PITCHER, MAN!!!"

<DthPool> Im trying to milk myself
<DthPool> its not working
<DthPool> my nipples hurt
<TranceDude88> say  hello to bash.org

<Bushido> But I suppose a goth chick at KFC would be just as
funny.
<Scarab> "Is your crispy chicken as crisp as dead leaves
swaying from the gallows of skeletal wooden claws hewn from
their withered arms by jagged-fanged steel?" "Nah, but it's
pretty damn crunchy." "I accept."

+(norad) if you rearrange the letters in mother in law, you
get woman hitler :/

<manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
<d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
<munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
<soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase

<Baybee_Gurl> that wuz so awesome last night
<Baybee_Gurl> i had a great time
<SiCkNeSsS> says:  yea... me too
<Baybee_Gurl> if you're interested i'm willing to do it again
;)
<SiCkNeSsS> mm hmm
<Baybee_Gurl> yea
<Baybee_Gurl> ...
<Baybee_Gurl> is something bothering you?
<Baybee_Gurl> because your acting weird
<SiCkNeSsS> it's nothing
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me
<SiCkNeSsS> dont worry 'bout it
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me plz
<Baybee_Gurl> plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
<Baybee_Gurl> .........
<Baybee_Gurl> come on just tell me
<Baybee_Gurl> i wont care
<SiCkNeSsS> fine if you put it that way
<Baybee_Gurl> okay so tell me!!
<SiCkNeSsS> if you fucking get pregnant i am so dumping your
ass
<Baybee_Gurl> .....

(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?

<weht> hahaha this morning i was listening to the radio on the
bus, and they were like 'its time for the not-so-impossible
question. what do the first 7 gifts in the 12 days of
christmas have in common?'
<weht> and this dude calls in and is like 'they are all birds'
and they say 'yay you win you get this gay prize'
<weht> and i called in and said 'um, how long have 5 golden
rings been birds?' and they said 'oh shit, we screwed that up'

RIAA Rep 387: My name is Mark Guineve, and I am a
representative of the Recording Industry Association of
America. We here at the RIAA, have recieved reports of illegal
filesharing of copyrighted materials on your PC. We are
currently filing lawsuits, against copyright infringement
offenders, and are willing to give you a courtesy warning to
stop these illegal activities, or we will subpoenea your ISP,
to take further action.
RIAA Rep 387: We have detected several acts of illegal piracy
on your computer.
RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, I am also in New Jersey and I can call
your house if you would prefer.
Girl: what am i supposed to do
RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, are you currently using KaZaA, or is it
another File-Sharing service?
Girl: kazaa
Girl: i just closed out of it
Girl: WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!!!
RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, it is necessary that you now dance around
topless with a fishstick in your pants.
RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, are you doing this yet?
Girl: **** u!
RIAA Rep 387: Not appropriate language, Kristy.
RIAA Rep 387: Nah, I'm just messin' with you.
Girl: that scared me.. i was about to start dancin
Girl: jp who is this

(CitizenC) You know what I don't understand? Why my bank
requires me to have a hardcore, uber-encrypted password so I
can see how much I have left to pay on my MasterCard. Fuck...
if somebody else wants to access my account and pay it off, be
my guest.

<rolo> alright, someone pls explain to me what the fuck "it"
is in the phrase "keep it real"
<draco> yeah, and how/why does it become fake?
<thrgy> and why the fuck is everyone its keeper?!?!?!
* traxor has quit IRC (Quit: it has failed to be kept real in
here)

[Rictor] 1f j00 (4n 1234d 7|-|15, j00 n33d 70 937 |41d
[ArchDemon] *sob* so true.

* DuneBoy wonders why his code won't compile
<DuneBoy> missing ) my ass
<ZorbaTHut> "Ironically, however, his ass was indeed missing
its right cheek."

<iggypop> i told my gf some shit when i was drunk, and now
she's like "you weren't just saying that because you were
drunk, were you?"
<iggypop> and i don't have a fucking clue what i said

<fishmech_> history books in a thousand years are going to be
hilarious
<fishmech_> According to the great 21st Century philosopher
xXx_SePhIrOtH127765_xXx,

<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway

<SailorAirman> everything is always more enjoyable when it's
free
<Tatumaru> not really
<Tatumaru> I got raped once
<Tatumaru> but I'd rather pay for a hooker

<var> hrmm
<var> how the fuck did a shortcut to e13ay end up on my
desktop
<var> what kinda nefarious shit is windows update pulling
<Guilty> It's your computers way of saying it wants a new
owner
<Guilty> Like a dog scratching on the door to get out

<@HEMI> I'm tempted to start going to work in ripped jeans/
shirts and tell them that's all I can afford on what they're
paying me.

[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00
[TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7
[Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here

yancan c o o k: im sry man..
yancan c o o k: if u ever need someone
yancan c o o k: u know
yancan c o o k: a shoulder to cry on
yancan c o o k: or like
yancan c o o k: someone to talk to
yancan c o o k: then
yancan c o o k: go fuck urself
yancan c o o k: cuz thats not me

(McMoo) i got in a car accident and i'm fine
(McMoo) except for that third nipple that the doctors thought
would be funny to include in my skin graft

* XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
<Toughie> lol
<Toughie> thanks BF
<Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
<Toughie> i-r-c-i-n-g

<D1_> in third grade
<D1_> I saw this girl have a seizure and spasm on the floor
<D1_> and man did her tongue go down her throat
<D1_> now that I think of it
<D1_> it was kind of sexy
<twin> what the FUCK

<senorperrito> jesus christ my moms a n00b
<senorperrito> she walked into my room and asked what i was
doing and i told her i was burning CDs
<senorperrito> she was like do you want me to open a window so
u have ventilation?

* Tomko slaps saber with Oprah's clitoris, which resembles
some kind of gnarled and pulsating sweet potato
<ducks> WTF

<Volksweasel> cool...there's a TON of cardinals on the tree
outside my window
<enaz> cardinals are usually safe, it's the priests you have
to watch out for

<Neo> so you know those peta campaigns, "I'd rather go naked
than wear fur"?
<Neo> it's a pretty horrible idea when you think about it
<Neo> "stop eating animals or we'll keep showing you pics of
hot chicks all naked like"
<Neo> yeah, brillant plan there guys

<BOYD1981> you know, i hate it when a channel suddenly goes
quiet after a debate
<BOYD1981> it's like masturbating, and when you're finally
about to ejaculate you hear somebody entering the house
<BOYD1981> or walking up the stairs
<BOYD1981> so you have to put it away until later
<BOYD1981> another reason i hate it is because you never know
if it's because nobody has anything to say, or somebody took
what was said a little too seriously and is sitting there a
bit pissed off
<BOYD1981> show me an argument/debate/disagreement i haven't
seen before and maybe, just maybe i might get a little pissed
off
<BOYD1981> i'm more likely to get pissed off by something
pissing me off
<BOYD1981> like developer and publisher and
hellotomyfriendsandfamilyer logo animations before a game
loads
<BOYD1981> and it even gets on my nerves before a movie
<BOYD1981> especially if it's on a dvd that won't let you skip
it or go straight to the menu
<BOYD1981> to me that's propaganda, it's forcing you do watch
something you don't want to
<BOYD1981> ofcourse you can't put your hands over your ears
and close your eyes, because then you might miss the start of
the movie, accidentally hit the skip back button instead of
rewind and force yourself into being forced to watch the logos
again
<BOYD1981> or you could watch the movie once, time how long it
takes for the menu to appear or the movie to start, then turn
around and face a clock, put your hands over your ears and
count the seconds
<BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in on you they'll wonder
why you're ignoring what the clock is trying to tell you
that's preventing you from watching the movie
<BOYD1981> so it's either watching something you're against,
or having people think you talk to clocks
<BOYD1981> ofcourse you could do the same counting method, but
turn the tv on to a different channel for a certain amount of
time
<BOYD1981> but then somebody might walk in just as soon as you
change the channel and think you were watching porn or the
mobo awards or something like that
<BOYD1981> or, you could do the same but with the tv off
<BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in and sees you sitting
there with the dvd player running, the tv off and you with the
remote in your hand that you've forgotten which button turns
the tv on

<Tinkymamma> I think the downfall of my popularity at school
was when I humped my best friend to show some other kids how
tigers mate.

<Sonecor> How do you shut down someone else's computer?
<^Kitari^> You mean in mIRC?
<Sonecor> Yeah
<^Kitari^> Oh, you type /q <nick>
<Sonecor> Thanks =D
* Sonecor ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: ^Kitari^)

<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because
people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't
shut the fuck up about being on atkins

<Aurin> Which reminds me of a tragic event that happened to me
yesterday in a second-hand store
<Aurin> I found this Pikachu-suit intended for kids, but I
swear it looked like I could wear it
<Aurin> So I take it with me and go to see if it would fit
<Rhys> and it turns out it has detachable buttflaps for anal
sex?
<Aurin> Well, the rooms in second-hand stores are just like a
corner behind a curtain
<Aurin> I tried it on and noticed it was too small
<Aurin> And it looked horribly, HORRIBLY wrong
<Aurin> Going in my butt and the sorts :<
<Rhys> pika g string
<Rhys> ^^;;
<Rhys> electric sex..?
<Aurin> Well, I was giggling at myself when I hear the voice
of a shopping trolley, coming closer
<Aurin> *sound
<Nevada> haha
<Aurin> Then a voice of an old lady asking "IS ANYBODY
THERE?!?"
<Aurin> And the curtain is ripped open
<Aurin> That was the most humble moment in my entire lifetime.