bash.org archive

<Kin68ling>   :-pd-:
<Kin68ling> two girls making out
<sadoomed> how do u know its not 2 men?
<Kin68ling> because i still have some faith left in the world

<Splinton> So I'm on my honeymoon with my wife right...and
after we're done fucking, I get up to go to the bathroom, and
without thinking I left a $50 on the bed.
<Aron> Oh shit..
<Splinton> Yeah...
<Aron> She'll get over it right though? She can't possibly
expect you've never been with a woman up til now?
<Splinton> Yeah that's not what I'm worried about...she gave
me $20 change!

<@gotti> you know you go to a bar too much when quicken
suggests it as a scheduled transaction

<e-shark> so i was in physics today, and my mechanical pencial
snapped
<e-shark> my teacher noticed it, and then went on this tangent
about how he went through school with one mechanical pencil
<e-shark> and a giant white eraser that was german made, since
it was really good at getting rid of mistakes
<e-shark> then my friend states, "yea, those germans are
really good at getting rid of big, annoying mistakes."

<dan> this one dude made a raytraced monopoly board, and it
looked just like a photo!
<GreenPenInc> url?
<dan> i forget =[
<GreenPenInc> ok I'll find it
<GreenPenInc> ...heh
<GreenPenInc> i'm googling for monopoly and all I get is
people bitching about microsoft :D

JxJ: im sleepy and I need something to pick me up, what should
I drink?
GCa: Well, a  can of coke has about 45 mg of caffeine. A shot,
about 90. 8oz drip coffee 180-220. Ice coffee ~250+.
GCa: These are estimates, btw
GCa: My ultimate pick-me-up drink was an iced venti coffee
with no ice, add two-three shots, a couple pumps of syrup and
top it with cream
GCa: Then I would slam it... INSANE amounts of caffeine
GCa: Approx 16oz (you can get 32oz now) of iced coffee (500mg)
+3 shots (270mg)= 770 mg of caffeine, or the equivalent of 17
cans of coke at once
GCa: I used to pull up allnighters on that stuff just to ace
finals. never failed anything.
Dorne: shit, at that point caffeine is basically coke
GCa: Don't try to drive while on that.
JxJ: what the hell was your major?
GCa: english

<Effyis> oh crap...
<Effyis> i just dropped the dip on the floor
<gleep> Oh, well.  Someone help KarbonCopy back up.
<KarbonCopy> me back up?
<KarbonCopy> what?
<KarbonCopy> HEY!

<Cruzin3434> member me fag boy
<zaim> depends
<Cruzin3434> you fucked my grandpa the other day
<zaim> nah dude
<zaim> wasn't me
<zaim> wait
<zaim> what day was it

<Sion> does sound see if it sounds well how is it positioned
on the mp3
<Sion> haha
<Sion> wtf did i just type

<nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion it would be
whatever them clapping black people follow.
<nmopal> That looks fun.

<manda> i said it once ill say it agian
<manda> 14 yr olds should be kept from the net
<Zer0ne> unless in jpg form

<Verl> www.internet.com/dvds.rock/yestheydo.htlm
<Verl> html^
<0dan0> nice botched joke, loser
<Verl> ahem
<Verl> 'at least i dont put how many times ive had sex in
front of my name, and how many time ill ever have sex after
it'

<Guilty> Full house has so many good leasons
<Guilty> Like, living with another man in a basement at the
age of 42 does not make you gay
<Guilty> And sharing

<yaragn> ever seen that movie? The Matrix?
<yaragn> with those green lines of flying text?
<yaragn> *THAT'S* Perl

Gimpy: lifes a bitch and im her pimp
HjMC: Fuck life!
Gimpy: that'll be 50 dollars

<vmob_babe> french is a beautiful language.
<agent_rot> i dont like it
<vmob_babe> why is that?
<agent_rot> cuz i dont like words like 'bourdoeux' or whatever
are "bordo"
<vmob_babe> hmm.
<agent_rot> theyre just trying to cheat at scrabble i tell
you!

<D4NG3R0U5> why is it, in the commercials the bottles of
medicine stop talking when the actor picks them up?
<D4NG3R0U5> usually when i pick up my med bottles they keep
talkin "2 a day? what are you, a pussy! take 6!" "it says
don't drink alcohol after taking me...you gonna let them tell
you what to do?"

Veav: I would do weird things with my kids.
Veav: Their first language will be BASIC.
Veav: They'll be running around yelling "10 print daddy, 20
print daddy, 30 print can I have some candy, 40 input x?"
Chef Brian: So Veav, I take it they won't be functional
members of any society?
Veav: And I'd be all "X = NO!"

<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.

<Galoot> Jesus! Stupid kids. It's always "Daddy, please spend
time with us. Daddy, we love you. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Don't
they realize I'm in a chatroom?

<@Infinik> Do you think the Matrix ever gets netsplits?
<warpunk> Sure.
<@Infinik> Quits: Trinity (smith.matrix.com
jackson.matrix.com)
<@Infinik> Quits: Morpheus (Quit: Observe the powers of the
red pill, bitch)
<@Infinik> Smith has been kicked by Neo (Cloner)
(-M-a-t-r-i-x-)
<warpunk> Heh.
<Swanky-Tuna> Why would you take a pill from a bald black man
in the middle of nowhere?
<warpunk> Cuz I paid for 'em!
<Swanky-Tuna> there was a flash about that
<Swanky-Tuna> everybody started smiling as he was passing out
<warpunk> All your matrix are belong to us.
<Swanky-Tuna> and trinity was just a crossdresser
<@Infinik> Haha
<Infinik> "The Trinity?" "The Trinity who hacked the IRS
d-base?" "That was a long time ago." "I thought you were a
guy." "That was a long time ago too."

nordic24sweet: Statistically speaking, the job of pizza
delivery driver is a more dangerous job than that of fire
fighting.
wastedVegas: that makes sense. A friend of mine who was a
pizza dilivery guy was once offered a blow job by a guy he
delivered a pizza to. That shit doesn't happen to Firefighters

<Elfin> Hey, it happens. I don't want you to feel that you
have to apologise for anything. This is #ecchi-attack, open to
all kinds of people.
<Sak> EXCEPT THE BI-CURIOUS
<Elfin> YEAH. And faggots.
<Elfin> And black people.
<Elfin> And Muslims.
<Sak> And Asians.
<Elfin> And Pakistani's.
<Sak> And Native Americans.
<Elfin> Apart from them, everyone else is okay.
<Sak> Ahem.
<Sak> FORGETTING THE JEWS ARE WE???

<Flirbnic> HAHAHA SQUINKY MADE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR.
<Squinky> HAHHA FLIRBNIC HAS A BIG BUTT AND HIS BUTT STINKS
AND HIS HEAD IS HIS BUTT.
<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(

<andy> I want to live in a camaro, not a van.
<WIP> You can't put a waterbed in a camaro.
<andy> that sounds suspiciously like a bet.

[sides] the other day my aunt and cousins were over my house
for the night and them and my family were in the living room
[sides] some how we started talking about pamela anderson. my
sister was like "well it's not like she's in porn or anything"
[sides] and they were all arguing over if she's in porn or
not.
[sides] I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying
to fix my dad's computer, which is in the same room. but I
heard them talking about porn so I listened up
[sides] and when my sister said "no she's never been in a real
porn or anything"
[sides] I spoke up and said "oh yes she has!"
[sides] everyone looks at me funny and I hadn't realized what
I did wrong yet and my dad's like "how do you know that?"
[sides] so I just got up and went upstairs.

<Whiffles> Quit thinking!!
<God> I'm sorry.  *becomes christian*

<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH
TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall
over from mine

<hepkitten> also i appear to have lost my bf
<hepkitten> :<
<kinzillah> "lost"? does he respond to ping?

<nostal> What are the dimensions of those little MSN display
pictures?
<esuna> 2D

[Rjx] heh, kids need to learn through experience
[Rjx] you can't teach a person, you can only help them teach
themselves
[Gauge] So they can gain levels, Rjx?
[Video`] I'm level 75 in life.
[Gauge] "BabyRjx gains a level!  BabyRjx is now ToddlerRjx!"
* Rjx is level 34
* Rjx has learned "walk"
[Video`] Level 34 and you -just- learned walk?
[Video`] n00b.

*** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
<BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits
IRC.

<legola5>  | ×| Winamp is: Playing  |×| INCOMPLETE (my)Queen - We Are
The
Champions3dc88b69146fd4de16c0be9fa2ddabb2002c287d00800000ac44000000b4
| ×| 1Min 59Sec
<legola5> bet thats a bugger to sing

<Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed
that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous
breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and
popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im.
It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla
led."

<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's
on my keybaord
<peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads

<Lasse> we're playing ping pong lolololololol
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Too many commands sent, please wait.
<Lasse> whee I win

<akii> what happens when disney goes bankrupt?
<akii> does walt get unfrozen?
<nigd> haahha
<nigd> how pissed would you be
<nigd> "IM ALIVE!"
<nigd> "yes"
<nigd> "Did you cure me?"
<nigd> "no"
<nigd> "Why unfreeze me then?"
<nigd> "You're going broke"
<nigd> "fuck."

<Laura_ken> ameeeerrrrr
<amer> why do people do that
<amer> why can't you do "amer: this is my question blah blah
blah?"
<amer> why do you have to wait for a response
<Rhayde> lol
<amer> goddamit i'm here, ask your question
<amer> or say what you have to say
<amer> jesus
* amer throws up his hands and leaves the room
<amer> well?
*** Exekiel ([email protected]) has joined #lineage
<Exekiel> AMER
<amer> lol

Wolfe177: Me: "so when are we going to use this stuff in real
life", math teacher: "when u become a math teacher"

<revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better
<ImpLin> where i get those?
<revmoo> kazza mart
<ImpLin> wheres that?
<Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google
<ImpLin> what town?
<Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA

<Zombait> By the way, why the hell does windows tell you to
say "okay" to everything?
<Zombait> Clearly the responses used there were created by
married men

<HorseC> parrots are like children... you spend 2-3 years
teaching them to talk, then the rest of your life wishing you
never did.

<MisterMastermind> Reminds me of an assignment I had... I had
to name 10 fun things to do in a country. I pulled out a piece
of paper from a hat, North Korea. "AW FUCK!"

<Spectra> hrm.  Optus are going to start charging me >= $10
more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our
customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay
more for your service".

<Winterhart> I just told my mom "AFK, I'm going to work"
<Winterhart> She's like, "What?"
<Winterhart> I told her it means "just so you know" in latin :
/

<@DudeGuy> i really like soymild
<@DudeGuy> milk
<@eponymous> New Soy Mild: For You Vegan Fuckers Too Pansy-Ass
to Take Regular Soy (TM)

<MadHatter> what you know about people and the way things work
I could comfortably pass through the hole in my penis

<Random> "Mosh pit. Well-concealed tazer. Hours of endless
entertainment."

<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away

(backslash) Wow, the introduction to this chapter in the
driving book we got today is. . . well, reassuring.
(backslash) 'Finally, the keys and the car... our dream has
come true! You climb in behind the wheel, the engine starts
and purrs. Wow! Shift into gear and you're off.
(backslash) The sky darkens, rain starts to fall... Where is
that wiper switch? Oops, not that one. Oh! There is it! And
now, the headlights.
(backslash) What does that bright blue light mean? Why is that
oncoming car flashing high beams? My gosh... the car in front
is braking... Your vehicle is sliding!! Your heart is
pounding! Now what?!'
(zztzed) "If you slam on the brakes and go hydroplaning into
the rear end of the car in front of you, turn to page 36."

[aphr0] nothing like relaxing after a hefty civ3 session with
some simpsons and some chicken gravy rice
[WillLab] you have to relax after playing a game?
[WillLab] like the game is the stressful part of your day?
[aphr0] you try battling 5 nations
[WillLab] I hate you

<MJL> The only thing that pisses me off is when someone
randomly enters my room at night during happy time.
<MJL> It's like a mad scramble to look innocent
<MJL> And it's a lose lose situation
<MJL> Because it's obvious you're trying to cover it up
<MJL> But I guess it's better than staring at your mother with
your penis hanging out and asking what's up.

<ShatnersBassoon>Ouch.  Just been to the toilet for a poo, and
I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy.  Suffice it to
say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
<Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
<Kenny>"than"
<Kenny>fuck

<@generated> i wish i was dead
<@mehh_> generated: why? :(
<@mehh_> actually i really need to go...tell me some other
time :)
<@mehh_> bbl

<mattttttt> shut up
<mattttttt> all of you
<cat9> fuck off
<mattttttt> shut the fuck up and stop filling up my logs
<cat9> if you want silence, go and idle in notepad

<jo> apparently, according to Josh, the Swiss-French border is
at risk of being sucked in by a black hole
<jo> they're experimenting with time/space stuff there
<Lewin> haha
<Lewin> try staying out of that one, switzerland

Becca: find a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good
luck
Matt: yeah... but
Matt: if you throw the penny at someone
Matt: it's funny

<zip> IRC really has terrible markup.  So many unclosed tags.
<zip> Oops. </zip>

<Hitokoei> Last year, I was at my friends and we were playing
truth or dare in Boys vs. Girls style, and the girls dared all
of us to jack of right there in front of them.
<Hitokoei> And even worse than that, we did it...
<Hitokoei> For $30 each.
<Hitokoei> I got made fun of though...they said I jacked off
funny.

<Ferney> I think the clog is bonged
<Ferney> LOL
<Ferney> whoa...I think the BONG is CLOGGED

<dudeXIII> you guys hear about that sniper in washington?
<dudeXIII> camping bitch D:

<AaronStJ> I'd buy it.  And by buy, I mean warez

sigmaflare: So there's this app for my phone called 'torch'
sigmaflare: It just makes the screen white so you can use it
as a flashlight.
sigmaflare: And that got me thinking... I wonder why nobody
has made an app that just makes the phone constantly vibrate.

<BlackDeth> man this sucks
<BlackDeth> why is it that all drugs make you lazy and useless
<BlackDeth> they should invent one that motivates you to do
homework and shit

<Inversation> hahaha
<Inversation> on the price is right:
<Inversation> "our next prize is: A Super Sucker!" -woman
walks out from behind curtain-
<Inversation> -vacuum cleaner emerges a few seconds later-

<sean> sec
<sean> SSHing to laptop beacuse I can't be bothered to lift it
onto table

Axion: u know
Axion: one day
Axion: the FBI's gonna bang down my door thinking im a
pedophile
Axion: and then realize im only 16
Axion: lol
Alucard: bwahahaha

<Fembot> I choose you, PINGachu!
<Fembot> Variable sized packet attack!

his_madjesty: hey, I wake up in the middle of the night for
all sorts of reasons.
his_madjesty: mostly to get up off the computer chair and go
to bed.