bash.org archive

<glix> oh shit... i farted and a little more than air came
out.....
<glix> fuck
<glix> anyone who has tips on how to leave the chair without
making a mess, msg me ASAP
<cainBoy> lmao

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a
porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what
decade

<spicrx7> what do you guys use for burnin cd's?
<spazzer> fire

<AlmtyBob> Groups such as Cyberangels and Pedowatch have
picked up the slack by enlisting thousands of volunteers
across the globe to scan the Internet for lurid images of
children.
<AlmtyBob> wow
<AlmtyBob> sounds like my kind of job
<AlmtyBob> and to think, I'm doing it for free as we speak

<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do
anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it

<selene|metro> and i thought that i saw you looting
<selene|metro> i thought that i saw you gate friends here
<selene|metro> thats me in the dungeon
<selene|metro> thats me in the twilight, losing my connection

< alx> wow irc feels like television right now
< alx> 75 channels and not a thing worth watching

DDay22Alpha1243: You voted
Komataguri: I was standing in line for over an hour.
DDay22Alpha1243: oh
Komataguri: and this bitch was behind me.
Komataguri: Ugly bitch, kept bumping into me purposefully
every time the line moved and I didn't step forward fast
enough.
Komataguri: So I ripped one on her.
Komataguri: a silent one so no one knew where it came from.
Komataguri: After a few seconds, teh whole library smelled
like someone dumped raw sewage and 40tons of roadkill in the
place
DDay22Alpha1243: lol
Komataguri: I never felt so proud

<curiosity> I can't wait til' we can directly interface to the
brain - that way the voices in my head can talk on IRC.

<Gamer> Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your
granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.

<Elfer> I remember tangie complained about only getting a $30
GC game for EASTER
<Elfer> bitch
<Elfer> Know what I got for easter?
<Elfer> nothing
<Elfer> not even chocolate or anything
<Elfer> Well, at least I didn't get crucified
<Elfer> unlike some suckers at easter

votewithabullet8: so whats up?
votewithabullet8: today better than yestderday?
cochese04: not really
cochese04: tonight I drank a big ol' glass of milk
cochese04: then I remembered I'm lactose intolerant
cochese04: that's an "oh fuck" moment

<Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains
<Wallaroo> ?
<Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end
up playing with them anyway.

<JimLad> night War_Pig
<JimLad> you cockjockey
<War_Pig> pardon?
<Trippledence> he said you ride cock War_Pig
<joeh> hes saying you ride cock War_Pig
<[Marcus]> he said you ride cock War_Pig

<   Milenko> im so bored..
<@ALGORYTHM> get a job
<   Milenko> i have a job
<   Milenko> Im in the army kid
<   Milenko> im on leave because i got shot in the ass during
basic training :-/

<XorioN> o
<XorioN> o/
<XorioN> /o/
<DummeGaas> Heh
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
<DummeGaas> It's fun to stay at the
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o

<_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
<_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they
are and expect you to know they are telstra
<_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults
center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm
well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake
up with erections... but aside from that Im fine"

<_rm> xp is great
<_rm> better than fucking me or 98

<Calvinosaur> Water parks should make their entrances narrow,
say 24 inches. If you can't fit through sideways, then you're
too fat to be wearing a swimsuit in public.

tom: guys
tom: youb willb neverb elieveb this
tom: butb myb spaceb keyb keeps bputtingb ab spaceb andb then
bab
tom: ab b
tom: whatb theb fuck
Cube: rofl
Cube: thta's really funny
tom: MAKEB ITB FUCKINGB STOP
tom: ohb heyb I bfoundb theb problem
tom: there bisb something bbetweenb theb  bandb spaceb keys

<hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown
by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my
pees..
<hypr> fucking bitch

Kat: Coincidence may favor the bold, but I think irony favors
the italic.

<arioch> Day changed to 11 Sep 2003
<arioch> whee
<ukiro> ok, everyone put on fake beards
<arioch> don't got one
<ukiro> grow one
<ukiro> HURRY
<arioch> I haven't shaved in 3 or 4 weeks
<arioch> I have something more than a stubble
<Cyb> I have a goatsee thing
<arioch> but that's about it
<Cyb> er
<Cyb> goatee
<Cyb> damnit
<arioch> you have a goatse
<ukiro> hahaha
<Cyb> stupid internet ruined my life

<Infe5> A PS2 costs ?40,000, a PSOne costs ?15,000, and a
Hello Kitty DC costs ?28,800. :(
<EtherMan> how much is that in real money

<Caius> in the last year I've broken the screen on: SE S700i,
SE P910i, iPod 40GB, Pentax S6, Palm Zire 72 (and slightly
before the last year, Palm M100)
<Libertus> Caius: Have you considered pen and paper?

<awed> i almost started a cult once
<awed> by accident
<awed> irc is weird like that.

<Glasses> Quebec is on fire?
<Glasses> I'm sure the rest of Cananda won't be too upset...
<Paul> Upset? THey started it.

<Soichiro> According to imdb, there was nudity, sex, much
rape, and a haunted dildo
<Merines> I know what I'm going to be for Halloween now

<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?

<@Blaxthos> so apparently my 17yo cousin has VD
<@seiki> heh
<@seiki> Blaxthos: sucky
<@Blaxthos> yea, she's hot )-;

<esokitty> FUCKING A
<kitten> fuck a B it has more holes

Jeff: I love microsoft office
Eric-san: I love girls, weirdo
Jeff: then get a girlfriend
Eric-san: I never said they love me
Jeff: there is always someone out there.
Jeff: always
Jeff: even adolf hitler had a girlfriend...c'mon
Eric-san: Best. Justification. Ever

<{FDISK}> I've listened to so many MP3s I can identify the
encoder and bitrate by ear.
<{FDISK}> Surprisingly, I'm still single.

<SmilingDevil> My dad is saying that 9/11 was an inside job.
<SmilingDevil> Someone help me.
<Afforess> it was
<Afforess> the planes were inside the towers

<RevNeptho> gethostbyintuition() is still a dream of mine

<chisoxiest> is it just me... or does eveyone think that
quadrapelegics are greedy?
<chisoxiest> "i can't reach that"
<chisoxiest> "i'm not tall enough"
<chisoxiest> i mean c'mon now

<raindog> I'll ring you when I head out...
<morgamic> <3
<raindog> lol
<morgamic> want me to pick you up?
<raindog> nice testicles
<morgamic> it's a heart you jackass.
<raindog> oh

<Toba> i like my coffee like i like my women: earthy, french,
and on my desk at work
<nightshroud> But be careful or you may end up with burning
pain on your lap area.

<Road> { private: long member; }
<Road> but for me, that would be a long long
<DAL9000> Road: you'd have to cast it to a char though.
<Road> DAL9000: Hmm, that would cause an overflow
<DAL9000> hah.
<DAL9000> no big deal, i hear you always prematurely core dump
anyway
<Road> hahah, ouch
<DAL9000> I COUNTER YOUR GEEK COUNTER WITH AN EVEN GEEKIER
COUNTER.

* Lembas found an awesome headline in today's paper.
<Lembas> Violence in Israel.
* Bonzai fails to see the awesomeness, that's like "Snow in
Siberia"
<Bruce_MacCulloch> or "Idiots in Washington"

<davean> http://news.com.com/
Judge+Worker+cant+be+fired+for+Web+surfing/
2100-1030_3-6064520.html
<blorpy> can't look, i'm work
<blorpy> i'll check it out later

[17:05] <thinkmad> christ man
[17:05] <thinkmad> i just caught my dad jerking off

<@EFA|Kamikaze> Thou shalt hoist oneself upon thy ship of good
sportsman, For thy days of "GG" and "NICE Shot" hath past,
"GG" shalt be "BS" thy "Nice Shot" shalt be "AIMBOT!!1!1". -
Teh Book of Noob Chapter 8:12

<max> do i need to download the 2nd disc of any movie or just
the first?
<Daki> You can download only the first, but the ending is kind
of a cliffhanger

dan: i need a serious, business-type description of a blog
null: Unprofitable.

<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx
guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he
can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she
know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet
super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal
adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's
cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with
the camera.

<+Merrick> Ugh
<+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
<+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
<+Merrick> I HATE IT
<+FDR> are you a priest?
<+Merrick> No an altar boy

<+NeoHentaiMaster> back in my day we had to manually punch the
binary into the circuts using needle pins
<Insane2757> Back in my day, we coded with 2 badgers and a
spoon.
<BladeTR> back in my day we had to draw the zeros and ones on
the cave wall with clay

<seisan> New hacking tool: chocolate
<seisan> A survey of office workers in London found that
almost three quarters would reveal their network-access
password in exchange for a bar of chocolate.
<Echo|Fox> The same survey also revealed that 84% of male
respondants would give up their bank PIN code for a blow job.

<andkore> can somebody say something positive the government
has done in the past 5 years? please?
<gorn> no, you'd have to go to before bush was elected to see
something positive
<JuggaloAnt> when clinton banged that chick?
<gorn> yeah
<gorn> that was positive
<gorn> make love not war

<Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
<Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL
PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
<Kaelic> Wtf?
<Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!"

<Elfer> OMG OMG OMG
<Elfer> I just had an idea
<Elfer> ok, cats land on their feet, right?
<Elfer> right
<Elfer> toast lands peanut butter sde down, right?
<Elfer> right
<very_clock> right
<Elfer> now, what if I tape a piece of toast peanut butter
side up to a cat's back and drop it
<Elfer> ???
<very_clock> uhhhm the cat will cancel out the toast thing,
cats beat toast anyday
<Elfer> uhh, no
<very_clock> yep
<Elfer> I think I get some sort of physics defying
contradiction conundrum and the cat will hover
<Elfer> It's almost too simple to take over the world with
this type of device...

<Fugazi> Like I said before, I never repeat myself!

<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell
running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a
4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of
competition.

<Chrysophylax> NORAD comes to public attention at Christmas,
when it purports to track Santa Claus on his journey around
the world delivering toys for the world's children. 2005
marked the 50th time of NORAD tracking Santa. This tradition
started when a local Sears store in Colorado misprinted the
phone number and kids, who thought they were calling Santa,
called NORAD instead. This has become a tradition ever since
1955.
<Chrysophylax> wth
<TheDeadlyShoe> we'll manage to shoot the fat fucker down this
year, you'll see

(BLIZZ)this one guy that comes in all the time and pisses me
off
(BLIZZ)he brought his computer in for service
(BLIZZ)it starts for like a second then turns off
(BLIZZ)i charged him 59.99 to switch the little selector on
the back of his power supply from european voltage to american
(ZeNiTH)haha

<d4d5d6>anyone interested in beta testing a virus that i just
compiled?
<|89|> hell yeah
I Have Finished Sending File virus01.exe to |89|
<d4d5d6> open it
|89| has quit IRC (quit: computer - dead)
<d4d5d6> haha what a tool

<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have
aids!"

seph429: lol 3 weeks ago someone posted a post on this board
"I'm looking for some cool things macosx can do" hes bumped it
every day since, today he posts
seph429: "OKAY I GET IT, THE OS SUCKS AND UR ALL FUCKS I HOPE
YOU DIE"

<crazymike811> infinity is simply nothing with a twist

<myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we
hear... i probally just ignored it
<Joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on
that topic.
<Joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<Joshua> *appologies?
<Joshua> soemthing like that
<Joshua> fuck it
<Joshua> i'm an american
<Joshua> i don't have to spell

<turboeli> Someday I will achieve my project of putting
together the ultimate funny stereotype, the Engrish Gangsta.
However, I have yet to progress further than 'bring bring'.

<Dugimodo> ever notice miracles stopped happening when the
video camera was invented
<pog> and then they started up again when digital editing came
by

<Silellak> The Oscars are fucking lame.  Hollywood giving
itself a self-congratulatory blowjob over how artsy and deep
and relevant it is
<Silellak> When I saw "The Day After Tomorrow" in their
montage of movies that addressed serious issues I wanted to
throw something at the screen.
<Silellak> Because Day After Tomorrow was as much about global
warming as Independence Day was about gay rights

<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old
story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first
date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After
hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of
soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you
prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"

<xwred1> my friend on aim is annoying me I want to hack them
<xwred1> I just want to get in and format his drive
<xwred1> I asked him for his address ip and he said its
127.0.0.1
<TheOnyx> heh
<TheOnyx> Do you know what 127.0.0.1 is?
<xwred1> its an address
<xwred1> loopback, or something, right?
<xwred1> it loops to him, then back to me
<xwred1> thats how I can hax0r him

/* After a long long idle pause */
<c4_faker> ...silence is a form of consent...
<zeedo> so you can rape a mute woman legally?
<zeedo> nice
<c4_faker> hahahhahaa
<c4_faker> whats she gunna do...scream in sign language?
<c4_faker> :P
<zeedo> yeh, they call it "punching"

sluissa: I feel sorry for gay people in america who are saving
themselves for marriage.

<Tre`> I have no girl
<Tre`> to give me sex
<Tre`> all I have
<Tre`> is binary and hex