bash.org archive

<BhavFox> FurServ: op me
<FurServ> BhavFox: You are already opped.
<BhavFox> ;O)
<Kas> FurServ: suck me
<Kas> aww
<Hawx> Kas: You already suck.

Keladry43:    i am very bad at crabble
Stumacha:    obviously
Keladry43:    uh. yeah. dammit.

<f48u10n7> this dude I know was sleeping with this girl, and
she had really long hair. so he gets up in the middle of the
night to take a crap, and he finishes his business, but when
he stands up, he feels a tug--turns out his turd is attached
to his rectum via a long hair. he had to hobble over to the
sink to get scissors
<taylah> what
<taylah> okay
<taylah> im confused
<nimh> f48u10n7: that's happened to me before
<f48u10n7> see, he must have swallowed some of her hair in the
night
<nimh> i've pulled one of my ex's long hair outta my ass
before
<taylah> haha oh
<taylah> my
<f48u10n7> i'm glad I only sleep with bald chicks
<`Benny`> that's the most disgusting thing I've heard in a
long time and I'm in here a fair amount of time
<taylah> god
<PunkRawk> like outta yer asshole nimh?
<aem`key> f48u10n7 lol
<aem`key> :)
<nimh> right out
<nimh> i felt it as i tugged it out
<nimh> i even called her over to take a look at it
<nimh> i was like, "cait, this is your fault."
<nimh> she was like, "what, EWWEWWEWE!"
<nimh> and ran away screaming
<f48u10n7> yikes
<f48u10n7> anyway, my point was, that's kinda like spidey
shooting webs from his ass

<inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
<LZ> what does it do?
<inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I
TYPED BEFORE
<LZ> hmmm
<LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
<inv694102> O.....
<inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
<LZ> lol...

< ryll > "putting the 'fun' back into fundamentalism, and the
'laughter' back into sectarian slaughter"

<Chimette> anybody knowledgable about chamber music who also
wants some lesbo porn?
<crux> that will go down in history as one of the most
inappropriate lines ever

<Spike-Man> #myass is pretty cool.
<Spike-Man> Who wants to come in #myass?

<dawm> i wonder
<dawm> if i can ban myself
<dawm> oops
<dawm> you can
<dawm> im banned from my own blog
<dawm> BAHAHHAHA
<dawm> shit
<dawm> thats unreversable

<@toe2toe> it just really amazes me how fucking dumb george w
bush is
<@toe2toe> see the paper yesterday
<@toe2toe> "george bush getting frustrated at UN"
<@toe2toe> wheres the headline : "WORLD GETTING FRUSTRATED
WITH FUCK TARD IN WHITE HOUSE"

<MadHatter> I did a search for "madhatter efnet" on google and
the first thing I see is:
<MadHatter> <MadHatter> I cut my tongue shaving
<MadHatter> that's great

<Kurisu> what would happen if a serial killer went around
choping mens penises off and sewing them to his head so that
he had several phaluses protruding from his forhead and
temples
<RDreamer> he would have to wear a special type of hat.

<MadHatter> sjkdfkl;'
<Jingoro`> hatters snorting off his keyboard again

<Berzerker> Life is hard.
<Berzerker> unfortunately, you arent.
<Berzerker> call the national impotency hotline.
1-800-GET-BONE

<Guera> any guys wanna chat msg me
<ruggo> ok
<ruggo> how do i msg?
<Guera> i msg u
<ruggo> i don't see anything
<Guera> dubble click on my name
<ruggo> with what key?
<Guera> just left dubble click on my name
<ruggo> the left key?
<Guera> yea
<ruggo> i don't have one of those
<ruggo> the left arrow?
<Guera> the left on the mouse
<ruggo> mouse?
<ruggo> what sort of computer do you have?
<Guera> asl

<iank> I accidentally type valid perl when I'm angry.
<iank> @$#()*UD()IIF#

<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again

<Elsa_chan> dont worry, i have enough porn here to get settled
for the night, and my gf and bf are just next room
<SantaBJ> O_o
<mavhc> SantaBJ finds this statistically unlikely
<Elsa_chan> never met a bisexual girl?
<mavhc> but on irc?
<mavhc> if he sees pictures and finds out you're also hot
he'll have a divide by zero error

<Latly> Dude I just heard an amazing story
<Latly> My friends g/f was getting bored of her everyday love
life
<Latly> Sex, kissing, sex, etc.
<Latly> She decided to make it a bit more romantic
<Latly> So she decides to burn a disk of sexual songs, and
plays it during their "fun hour"
<Latly> I came over that day, and just swiped the disk with
another one
<Witds> with wat
<Latly> Lets just say, that they will be having a blast doing
it to barneys singalongs

<Jimmy> lisa, i'm having a bad day. wanna get naked on cam?
<Lisa> hahaha
<Jimmy> i hope hahaha is spanish for yes

(dariball_) n8 all
(jason-) i think it means night.
(jason-) but i'm not leet enough like that.
(Xentac) hehehe
(Xentac) but night ends in ite... and 8 ends in ate...
(Xentac) so he's saying nate
(jason-) i can understand like "i 8 your chicken because it
looked at my prost8."
(jason-) that makes more sense
(jason-) well kinda.

<Greywolf2001ca> I formatted my drive because NWN wouldn't
work online for me today.
<Nafoi> Uh dude they took the Master Server down for maitnence
no one can play online...
<Greywolf2001ca> ....FUCK

<ArianaK> I want my money back.
<ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats
supposed to help your memory

*** Now talking in #catholic
<shervin> where can I download "Catholic School Girls Gone
Wild VII" and "Guide to Successfully Raping Nun's 2002
Edition"?

<DKMA> In seventh grade I was forced to take the SAT as this
test thing,, long ago. I scored higher than the state average
<DKMA> I live in Texas though,, so it doesn't say much =)
<X15> there are ppl in texas?

<Fiz> i'd rather type than talk to a fucking computer
<Fiz> i feel stupid talking to a computer
<Fiz> talking to the TV is okay, because it talks back

On new years eve a friend told me this:
Psychism Alchemy: ugh I think I'm on my computer to much...
Psychism Alchemy: someone just asked me what my resolution was
as I answered 1600x1200...

<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never
knew how right he was.

«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. /
nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat?
(@Makenshi`) /quit
(@Makenshi`) duh

<Vipsta> So yeah, this fat guy in my english class was
bragging
<Vipsta> about how he registered stuff on the internet and
gave the sites a bogus email address
<Vipsta> so yesterday i was bored, and i remembered the email
addy he used
<Vipsta> and i registered it at hotmail, or whatever.
<Vipsta> i woke up this morning to find 441 gay porn emails in
the inbox.

<PwRPufF> im a smart blond :)
<nexxai> YAY FOR DUMB BLONDES#@$@!$! ---- I mean....ummm ---
YAY FOR SMART BLONDES *mutter* lol, no such thing
<PwRPufF> :/
<PwRPufF> shut up
<PwRPufF> hey soon im gonna have artifical intelegance
<PwRPufF> hehe
<nexxai> dyed hair?

*** f0r-1- has joined #photoshop
<f0r-1-> hi
<djahmar> hi
<f0r-1-> How it hanging?
<f0r-1-> :D
<Anapaest> from here to iowa
<f0r-1-> WHEEE! so, where are you from?
<Anapaest> iowa :(

(@Bean): rofl
(@Bean): I asked my g/f too marry me, she took me seriously

<Thom> How can a guy be offended by male nudity?
<Thom> Did you have trouble showering?
<Thom> OH FUCK OH FUCK ITS A PENIS

chaseaskew9642: I'm going to get a restaurant to compete with
crackerbarrell and I will call it niggerbucket.

<WarrioR> The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a
bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the
dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is
kind of the opposite way we elect a president.

<Desiree> my room is clean!
<Junpei> mine... is far from clean
<Junpei> but i have a chai smoothie
<Junpei> so everything is oooooooooooook
<Desiree> neet
<p00p> chai smoothie?
<Junpei> yup
<p00p> WTF?
<p00p> why do you crackers steal everything from us?
<p00p> first it's our music
<p00p> now it's our food
<Junpei> i didnt steal anything from a pile of poop, thanks
<p00p> yes, but you stole it from my peoples
<p00p> =P
<p00p> and WTF is up with this "Punjabi MC - Beware of the
Boys"???
<p00p> just because they couldn't pronounce that shit they had
to translate it
<Junpei> and who exactly are you people
<p00p> it didn't even have Punjabi MC in it, it was just a
remix by that tosser Jay Z
<Junpei> i didnt know poop orginated from india
<p00p> Indians
<p00p> did I ever say that?
<Junpei> well, you are poop
<p00p> your tiptoeing around everything else i said
p00p ([email protected]) is now known as
Siddartha
<Junpei> and besides the chai i get wasnt stolen from anyone,
its actually made in india and imported here
<Junpei> so how am i stealing
<Siddartha> your stealing a part of my culture
<Siddartha> and being a poser
<Siddartha> by trying to be "hip" and "ethnic"
<Junpei> im not trying to be hip or ethnic
<Junpei> i just fucking like chai
<Junpei> get off my nuts
<Junpei> and stop trying to pull the oppressed kid from
another country act, get over it
<Junpei> thats like me saying YOU USE AMERICA ONLINE YOU
CULTURE STEALING BASTARD

<Ethrakus> is partitioning your HD that risky?
<Ceiri> partitioning a hard drive is like cutting a pizza into
slices
<forvrin> With a baseball bat

Denomination: i almost read a whole pamphlet about child abuse
Kristen: why?
Denomination: it had pictures

<doug-> moral dilemma: i just found a pak of 18 chicken legs
in the deep freezer, however the label says 'best if used by
06-12-01'.... do i cook it up for the kidz and avoid having to
spend money on take out?  i'm not all that hungry myself
anyway =]
<Prozzy> I say go for it. If they die, at least you know.
<doug-> hmm, never actually thought about *death*, just
figured on projectile diarrhea, etc... now insurance policies
come into play... this could be a win-win-win-lose-win
situation i have here

<willo_sk> Wheee
<willo_sk> My $100 tires are rockin
<willo_sk> Another 50 for mount and balance tho :(
<willo_sk> I suspect that they fucked up my alignment
<willo_sk> Hosers
<josh> willo_sk: are you no longer chaotic good?

<CheeseBro> what is another phrase for black and white?
<ksennin> #000000 and #FFFFFF

<[X]> What the fuck? Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter
"Apple". What the fuck is it with celebrities naming their
kids weird shit?
<Alex> I'm gonna name my kid Strawberries
<bobik-> Alex, you a dumbass
<Schwert> the kid will kill you ,Alex
<Alex> true :(
<[X]> It could be worse... when I was two or so, and living on
an Air Force Base in Utah there was a family living on base
whose last name was Cane. Their daughters were Sugar, Candy,
and Nova.

<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option
"Always on Top"

<FagStone> DOES ANYONE HERE KNOWHOW TO DISABLE CAPSLOCK ON A
LOGITECH CHORDLESS DESKTOP M#34256 KEYBOARD?

<Lord_Igsel> i remember an 11 year old kid on irc once, he had
'found out' about masturbation, and we were all laughing at
him and things like "wooww what's it like how did you do itt'
and then he said 'a friend showed me. i rubbed his dick, he
rubbed mine.'
<Lord_Igsel> and then we got scared. :D

[Buddha] wasn't Microsoft giving a bounty for hackers?
[Buddha] *catching hackers
<@AkamuTheInept> Ya, a free copy of '98
[Buddha] ...
[Buddha] >_<
<@Hallucination> lol
[Buddha] That's like giving out land mines for helping the
poor

<Cherky> god school sucks
<Cherky> well what i mean by that is "God, school sucks." not
"God school,  sucks"
<Cherky> god school would be pretty cool
<Cherky> get to learn how to create planets and stuff
<Cherky> and smite people

<Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if
somebody can help me with it..
<mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting
through the spinal cord.  That will allow you more opportunity
to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.

<ryanm> I have cheesecake, how the fuck could I be miserable?!

<@pinata> i am going to be patenting my new method of internet
access.
<@pinata> it will be 6 times as fast...
<@pinata> but drop 90% of all of your connections.
<@pinata> i will call it ADHDSL

<Tomalak> Trouble is www.bash.org is like porn - you can waste
hours.
<Tomalak> There isn't even the finality of an orgasm to tell
you when to stop.

<Ethereal Souls> it gave me the "explorer.exe has generated
errors"
<Ethereal Souls> BUT IT'S OK
<Ethereal Souls> An error log was created
<Ethereal Souls> which will be in Hex and tell me EVERYTHING I
NEED TO KNOW
<Frag> Because, of course, you know EXACTLY what Windows
stores in memory slot E35BA9564F
<Ethereal Souls> yeah
<Ethereal Souls> that's the line about it buttfucking me

<FarkinWorkin> my dog used to freak out whenever I brought
home a fresh jar of peanut butter
<pakman> is that because you let him lick it off your penis
FarkinWorkin?
<FarkinWorkin> it was a "she" pakman...I'm no fag....

<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go
to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door
one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom
door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret
passage

<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a
knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the
hospital'
<jasn> im like  'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'

<Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become
obsessed with terrible songs?
<Critíc> Pop culture.

<BlackDeth>    ________________________
<BlackDeth>   /                       )··,,
<BlackDeth>  /  \___________________/     ``,,
<BlackDeth> (    ) )                            ikkenai
<BlackDeth>  `·-^-?
<hypr> damnit
<hypr> fucking mom walked in and saw da c0ck
<hypr> lamers

* Upth tries to figure out why his dog smells like fish.
<Charion> do you have a teenage sister?
<Upth> nope
<Charion> ok no idea then

<Tom86> can i ask you a personal question?
<MoHaWk> 8 inches

<Donitz> Do you like waffles?! Do you like Nazi propaganda?!
Then do we have the restaraunt for you!

<[GUNr]J0E> hahahah ive gotten laid more than jit
<jitspoe> I'm saving my virginity for a female

<kfc-ginzberg> dude
<kfc-ginzberg> "12 inches" was just an answer on jeopardy
<kfc-ginzberg> someone really shoulda buzzed in, "What is my
cock? Alex"

--> osx_newb has joined #cprogramming
<osx_newb> helo?
<Vulpyne> 250 Vulpyne

<+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
<+Ethelion> it's weird
<+Ethelion> they're like fucking ninjas
<+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
<+Ethelion> yeah

<xetlain> 376 lines of code so far I think
<xetlain> and that took me like 3 hours, lots of yelling, two
packets of cigs, 4 liters of coke, and three wanks to get
done.

Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and
above what is asked of me
Scott: because its a reflection on myself
Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"

<LegendZ28> I remember when I was a kid and I was at my
friends house, my friends big brother ran into the room with a
huge turd in his hand and was like "LOOK HOW HUGE THIS IS!"

Lord High Rikonian:: then they are not truly letting me "have
it my way"
Lord High Rikonian:: Because I want my whopper served to me on
the stomach of a nubile quivering 19 year old's belly
Lord High Rikonian:: and I want her vagina filled with ketchup
for dipping the fries
Lord High Rikonian:: but will Burger King do that? Nooooooooo
Lord High Rikonian:: fucking false advertisements
anastas:: ummm. Rik... that was nasty
Lord High Rikonian:: I know
Lord High Rikonian:: if a company says you can have it your
way...
Lord High Rikonian:: then they should let you have it your way
Zerebus:: .....they obviously weren't referring to Lord High
Rikonian.
Lord High Rikonian:: well obviously
Lord High Rikonian:: why must I be persecuted so by corporate
America?
Zerebus:: because you're one sick bastard

<Amun> just bought a server
<Amun> did a harddrive restore on it
<Amun> found nothing of interest
<Amun> except... his poems
<Amun> let me recite a few
<Amun> this one is called 'wishful thinking'
<Amun> The money I ve blown
<Amun> Getting high with dirty bitches I wish I ve never known
<Amun> Puffin on the pipe while they choke on my bone
<Amun> They re never grateful of the kindness I ve shown
<Amun> Or of all the times I ve made them mown
<Amun> So from now on I m just going to fucking leave them
alone