bash.org archive

<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!

<blazemore> i hate when you're trying to own someone
<blazemore> and then you own yourself

<Amanda`> WE COULD USE DHCP FOR WINS RESOLUTION IN OUR ROUTING
TABLES OR A STANDARD IPX PACKET TRANSMISSION PROTOCOL WHEN
CREATING REVERSE PTR TABLES FOR DYNAMIC CLASS A IP ADDRESSES
AND MAKE SURE OUR DNS KERNEL HAS THE CORRECT START OF
AUTHORITY RECORD FOR OUR SUBNET MASK WHEN PREPARING PTR
RECORDS FOR LOOPBACK MULTICASTING.
<Intra> exactly amanda

<+TreeSquid> From: "Lots_Of_Lobster@I-Like_Lobster"
<+TreeSquid> Subject: Click here for chance to win 50 lbs.of
lobster!
<+TreeSquid> what the fuck, lobster spam?!

* Avatar|NO3 gives Crispy a can of Lone Star beer
<Crispy> never heard of it
<Avatar|NO3> It's vile. Even Mexicans won't drink it.
<Avatar|NO3> In a choice between Lone Star and piss, 80% of
people chose piss. For the flavor.
<Zurvan> and the other 20%?
<Avatar|NO3> The other 20% thought both cups had piss.

*** Signoff: meredith- (Random number generation is too
important to be left to chance)

<TheThree> your special?
<Mj> you're
<TheThree> sorry my grammer sucks
<Mj> grammar
<TheThree> as dose my spelling
<Mj> does
<TheThree> i give up

<barkode:#916> playing tribes for last 5 hours
<Pesto:#916> wow, you're still at work?
<barkode:#916> yeah.

maddox> hehe if I still lived at my parents' house I'd be
grounded for sure
khoveraki> the basement is still part of the house, maddox.

* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of
Cat-5 cables"
<xL> #1: A windows NT network

zambezi: Why's it called the tourist season if we're not
allowed to shoot them?
forge: Shit!
forge: We aren't?

<Yoggit> No, it sucks, there's all these little kids, and they
always try to talk to me.
<leeberace> i like kids
<Yoggit> I like kids, when they're being quiet and not moving.
<leeberace> those are dead kids
<leeberace> that doesn't really count

* JosephKer on 2.4.14
<Snarf> exciting ;>
<JosephKer> yup! I got my kernel down to like 600k though
<Snarf> nice ;>
<^xman^> kernels below 1 mb are for pussies
<^xman^> kernels over 2 mb are for men
<JosephKer> hehe
<JosephKer> It's not how BIG your kernel is, it's how you use
it!
<BombScare> sure...thats why girls always laugh at you when
you pull out your kernel
<JosephKer> Then I set them straight with a good fsck'ing

<HarbPBN> I got home at like 4am.
<TruckPBN> Get layed?
<ebolaaaa> Isn't it "laid"?
<TruckPBN> ebolaaaa: I'm married... I dont remember.

[(chillin)] did u have sex with my penguin
[(AtTi2uDe)] say what? lol
[(chillin)] sex
[(chillin)] with my penguin
[(AtTi2uDe)] umm, no, don't think so?
[(AtTi2uDe)] lol
[(chillin)] are u sure
[(chillin)] cause i think u did
[(AtTi2uDe)] i think i didn't? lol
[(chillin)] well all the witnesses and evidence point to you
[(AtTi2uDe)] my wife would be jealous
[(chillin)] sir i dont think the penguin is any more ok with
it than your wife is

(Atarax) DrConway: They also had such a poorly designed
network that I set my computer's IP to the IP of their gateway
and took the entire college network down

<stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out
of that later that night.
<momar> Fer god's sake man!
<momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can
work, it just ain't right.

<blake772> Dude, your sister is a bitch.
<o0sarsRus0o> i know, one time she was drunk and i took
advantage of her to get her back
<blake772> WTF.. incest newbie.  Bash.org
<o0sarsRus0o> omg if you do i will kill you

<[CKS]Red_Robot> i know i should be working on my paper, but
id rather be playing warcraft, so to compromise im doing
almost nothing

<@KrayWolf> Microsoft Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and
graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit
operating system originally coded for a four-bit
microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that
can't stand one bit of competition.

Jokulhaups: I bet that when gays were kids, they always tried
to shove the cylinder in the star shaped hole.

<JediJawa> So I have this suit jacket and tie on for a speech
in English
<JediJawa> I go to sit down and this girl looks towards me and
says, "You look cute."
<KageGamer> ...
<KageGamer> A girl actually called you cute?
<JediJawa> I'm all surprised and I say thanks.
<JediJawa> Fortuantely no one heard me say that because she
was actually talking to the girl who sits in her line of sight
from me. :/

* Viktor is curious...does holding up a magnet to your
monitor...-damage- it in any way?
<Kyle_Physalis> Yes.
<Viktor> Ah...so the big black spot doesn't go away?

<Flaim> ok, why the fuck is the disk in a VIRTUAL MACHINE not
spinning up?

<@grim^> one time
<@grim^> I had my dick in this girl
<@grim^> and it was nice
<@jonoblows> and then the doctor pulled you all the way out,
right?

mojo: oh my god that was the greatest ever
mojo: UPS guy was at my door delivering some stuff to me
mojo: and this guy from across the street was on the sidewalk
talking to him about a cell phone delivery or some nonsense
mojo: and the UPS guy says "crazy foreigner from across the
street keeps bothering me, i don't even think he has a house"
mojo: "he probably drives a taxi because he can't get a real
job"
mojo: and i smiled at him and said "yea. nothing at all like
driving a UPS truck." *SLAM*

<never> hey... question......
<never> i'm new to irc stuff and i'm trying to download mp3's
through it
<never> know of any good servers? i've come up with
irc.dal.net but that's it
<kirun> irc.riaa.org
<never> k thanks

<DTails> "i see disconnected people"

<DunSnukIn> im starting to think aol isnt as good as they say

<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos.  I
would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of
2x4s for autocannon rounds.

<DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
<detmod> no java, duh
<DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
<detmod> what the hell is l337?
<DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR!  YOU
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O

<mwcfan88>  man i really got tan over the past few days
<crack-geanie>  alright thats it you've been warned now you're
out of the club
<crack-geanie>  i expect you to return you're pointy hat and
flaming cross by tuesday
<mwcfan88>  <:(

<Kayma> Ahh, there's blood flowing thorugh my caffeine
vessels!

<Ouroboros> The large print giveth, and the fine print taketh
away.

<konsole> i've seen it before.
<konsole> it's a decent movie.
<MelissA-> i liked it.
<MelissA-> i have a thing for sandra bullock though.
<konsole> me too.
<konsole> it's called a penis.

* kitty notes his other keyboard actually has macro keys on
it...
<Bandit> youre a guy?

<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery

<DEADGIRL> IM BACK NIGGERS
<J0SH> u spelt black wrong

<[UMCP]TROGDOR> explain to me why i need to defragment my disk
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> whats the advantage
<[UMCP]commieboy> faster access speed
<[UMCP]commieboy> Saint Google may be to your aide.
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> it says its moving all my files
<[UMCP]commieboy> yessir
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> why
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> ill NEVER FIND THEM

@|C|REDS`: I want a fuckin gf
@|C|Nemur: you want a girlfriend or a geforce? plz be specific

<nom> Bush wipes his ass, right?
<Ultron> No someone does it for him
<Legion> yeah with the constitution

<JaG> whos taking me out to dinner tonight?
<FairWtns> We could do a group thing.
<FairWtns> <ahem> A group dinner thing.
<FairWtns> <ahem> A group dinner meaning food thing.
<FairWtns> Or we could just say fuck it and see if we could do
the group thing.
<JaG> being the only chic in here, im vehemently opposed to
the group thing, i dont have that many orifices
<FairWtns> Oh, I don't know, you have enough, I would say.
<JaG> 4 guys, 1 girl
<JaG> NOT enough orifices
<FairWtns> Well, how are we defining 'orifice'
<JaG> its gotta feel good to me too sweetums
<FairWtns> Yeah yeah, "what's in it for me"
<FairWtns> Typical female philosophy.
<JaG> Better than whats in me for it?

<DavidGilmour> Some people are like Slinkies... generally
useless, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.

* Charles wakes up. Dammit, I can't even get laid in my own
dreams. ;_;
<Charles> My dream was just about meeting some girl who was
willing to sex me up, and then two weeks worth of meeting up
in various places to do so and getting interrupted and
sidetracked for various reasons.
<Mads> Oooh, oooh, go on, do go on!
<Charles> Sex at my house? Parents come home. Sex at the mall
bathroom? Security guard breaks it up. Sex in the woods?
Attacked by wolves. Sex in a cottege in the woods? A witch
lives there.
<Mads> ...
<Mads> That's the weirdest fucking datesim ever, mate.

<toe2toe> so i just flew in from AOL
<toe2toe> boy, are my packets tired!
<toe2toe> ...
<toe2toe> tough crowd

<MadHatter> if you want to meet girls, I'll take you out
<Ash> I want nice nerd girls, not coked-up models.

(rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
(rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
(rageboy) you are having a house party..
(rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
(rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your
bathroom sink
(rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
(vrs) is he a good friend
(vrs) ?
(rageboy) yeah
(vrs) do you like the girl?
(rageboy) no no..
(rageboy) i was the one fucking

<SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier
<SD-Washu> that was l33t
<biafra> what
<SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese
<SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was
"what the fuc...."
<SD-Washu> followed by *click*

<Kane> I like to play poker with tarot cards...I get a full
house and four people die

<Hatter> I know it's up for me!
<Hatter> take it etherman!~
<notgoth> if you steal my sunshine!
<Hatter> I SAID etherman
* notgoth steals etherman's sunshine :D
<EtherMan> :(
* EtherMan no sunshine
<notgoth> fine, you can have it back :D
* EtherMan sunshine!
<Hatter> Alright, now that's just gay.

<Donut[AFK]> Karte, I'd have a large depression filled with
salt.
<Donut[AFK]> And have people I don't like dumped in it via
helicopter.
<Eurakarte> Well, why couldn't one just walk to the edge?
<Eurakarte> I mean, the salt would pack down.
<Eurakarte> You wouldn't sink into it, it'd be like sand.
<Donut[AFK]> I'd have turbines at the bottom.
<Donut[AFK]> Their job would be to mix the bottom about,
creating unpackedness.
<Eurakarte> Might work, although it would depend on the depth.
<Donut[AFK]> A hundred feet.
<Eurakarte> The cost for digging out this 100-foot depression
alone would be enormous.
<Eurakarte> And placing turbines at the bottom?
<Eurakarte> And the piping system?
<Alert[BUSY]> 100-foot depression? $2.4 million dollars
<Alert[BUSY]> turbine and pipe system? $750,000 dollars
<Alert[BUSY]> approx. 250 tons of salt? $50,000 dollars
<RoSS> Putting someone in an ocean of salt just to watch them
choke and die? Priceless

[(>'.')> Ladymercury] Creed disbands and Reagen DIES
[(>'.')> Ladymercury] MY GOD
[(>'.')> Ladymercury] ITS A SIGN
[(jmr) mirai] hmm
[(jmr) mirai] yeah
[tiger_yamato] That the world is slowly becoming a better
place?

<theR> I'm glad I remembered I'm an idiot before I started to
set up a wins proxy

<arteh|ZzZz> lolly! @ 70s porn site
<Squid0x> I REALLY hope you mean the 1970s

<Toen> With Starfox Adventures, Rare redefined fun.
<Toen> Fun (adj.) 1: Not fun.

<girl> so what's new?
<jsn> just got out of an abusive relationship
<girl> whoa, what happened?
<jsn> decided to stop abusing her

<atila> my pc just shocked me
<atila> I touched my cd-r and it went "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt"
<ivilgrue> must be an anti-piracy system

<DanSTC> Delusion, will you have my baby?
<Delusion> Dan:  Yes, if it's cooked well.

<KB1JEC> anybody here give me a little help with VB?
<MikeJ> KB1JEC - does this look like a VB help channel?
<MikeJ> #C# is the VB help channel
<MikeJ> *duh*
<KB1JEC> ok im so awfully sorry
<KB1JEC> Unable to join #C# because a correct key is required
<MikeJ> ok
<MikeJ> then try #C++ they do it too
<KB1JEC> ok im in #c++, thanks
* KB1JEC has left #VisualBasic
<MikeJ> ...

<@reflexive> does your book tell me how to get rid of a sore
throat?
<mattlesko> let me look
<mattlesko> pg. 130
<mattlesko> "stop sucking cock"

<Edge> Sense we're going to be using all the correct grammer
and everything.
<Jon> Since.
<Edge> Sense
<Jon> And the word is grammar.
<Edge> Since isn't a word

<Spektor> A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a
check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket
and tried to 'write' with it.
<Spektor> Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer
with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great...
some asshole's got my pen."
<MikeYb0y> Not another life story Spektor!

<A|LOCO> !setinfo #women this is my setinfo, bow down
-ChanServ- You lack access to #women.
<A|LOCO> =(

AlexKN3: i'll be a laughting stuck
AlexKN3: stick
Davey: STOCK YOU IDIOT

AdamGoods> A seagull just took my sandwich!
AdamGoods> brb!!!!
AdamGoods> Ok, we're good now. I traded it some tylenol for my
sandwich back.
AdamGoods> Wait, this isn't mayo!!!
AdamGoods> Nobody say anything.
AdamGoods> I'm a one man show.
AdamGoods> I'm a one man band. I can walk in my corduroys and
play the kazoo!
AdamGoods> Ziddlelum Zum Zuuuuum ZEEP!
Fink-Ployd has quit IRC (QUIT: Stealing in the name of the
lord.)
AdamGoods> No, don't leave! I was just kdding!! I get why your
name is so funny!
AdamGoods> *kidding
AdamGoods> whew. that was close. didn't want you guys to think
that I couldn't spell kidding
AdamGoods> *kdding
uni2> £åügHîñg Øüt £öüÐ
KiKAzZ> AdamGoods.....
KiKAzZ> wtf is wrong with yo
KiKAzZ> you*
AdamGoods> Oh...phew.
AdamGoods> I thought you were asking me what's wrong with yo.
I have no problem with the aforementioned Spanish pronoun/
ebonic salutation.

<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink"

<bob_hobo_killer> It's 10:00 do you know where your children
are?
<meiv4> in a handful of tissues in my trashcan

<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing
i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"

<Zed> Guys
<Zed> I have a friend getting a degree in liberal arts
<Zed> for those of you who don't know what liberal arts are
<Zed> its okay, neither does he