bash.org archive

[17:10:00] <aamir> hi
[17:10:17] <aamir> hello
[17:10:17] <Kelavat> hi
[17:10:36] <aamir> asl plz
[17:11:59] <Kelavat> oh why the hell does everyone always ask
that, does it really metter what the fuck my asl is, obviously
im not a kid and not very femenine so if you planning on
hitting on someone just get a baseball bat and knock yourself
out cause its the only beating you'll get tonight
[17:13:25] <aamir> asl
[17:14:20] <Kelavat> you dont get it do you, I am not going to
answer your friggin asl
[17:14:42] <aamir> y my dear
[17:15:58] <Kelavat> you drink a lot dont you?

<d-snp> well actually windows D is my porn reflex
<d-snp> you never know what's under alt tab
<d-snp> it might be more porn :P

<NekoGuy> Oh my fucking god I'm 16 years old, engaged, with a
2.0 average planning to make a career out of politics, I spend
my entire day on IRC, looking at porn and fantasizing about a
race of catgirls that will never exist.
<NekoGuy> IT JUST FUCKING HIT ME.
* NekoGuy kills himself

<Sorak> is the server still down?
<Sklar> fraid so
<Sorak> omg i fucking hate blizzard
<Sklar> i know i should be angy too, but this is the only time
when i can get other stuff done
<Sklar> for example
<Sklar> did u know that uni started?
<Sklar> i didnt :(
<Sklar> gotta re-enrol

* polykurt gets pissed off when seemingly simple programs have
lots of dependencies on other    packages.  People are taught
to worship the concept of software reuse, but they take it too
far.  I should write a C library called libtruncate.  Every
time somebody needs to truncate an array, they will feel
obligated to use my library instead of writing five lines of
their own code to do the job.  And I will make libtruncate
depend on Gnome _and_ KDE _and_ JA

<snack`brb> You read about that guy on BBC that got 6 nails
stuck in him?
<Crips> yea, mustve been a quake 1 addict suffering
withdrawal...i bet he had like 1hp left
<Crips> if it was a super nailgun hed be dead

<effAce> man that one stank
<mgriffin> No manual entry for that
<mgriffin> No manual entry for one
<mgriffin> No manual entry for stank

<dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special
ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya

<Foobar> i had to deliver something to a business downtown
that was next door to EMI Music Canada
<Foobar> i was very tempted to walk in the front lobby, scream
"I DOWNLOAD MP3S, BITCHES" and run out

<W-ll-am> well its nearly working
<BoltBait> You are aware, code that ALMOST works looks NOTHING
like the code that ACTUALLY works.
<W-ll-am> dont tell me that, its due tomorrow

<Jono> Have you ever fucked anything artificial?
<Gemma> No
<Smiddy> No
<Tom> Does that girl with the wooden leg count?

<Chis> anyone experienced with shavers?
<Chis> i need to get one on ebay)
<Chis> http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?
MfcISAPICommand=GetResult&ht=1&SortProperty=MetaEndSort&query=
electric+shaver
<Spidey> dude
<Spidey> just go to the damn store

NeoNess19: new reports say that being with friends boost your
immune system
LippyTaK: unless youre sharing needles

<stat_`> we thought about catching a duck and cocking it :P
<Spartak> cocking
<Spartak> you sick fucks
<stat_`> cooking
<stat_`> COOKING I SAY

<Fry> Well my beard was a first commander in the Camanche Army
!
<JDigital> ...
<JDigital> No he wasn't, Fry. You lied to impress us.
<Fry> Bah...I am ashamed...How did you catch me ?
<JDigital> You misspelt Commanche.

<Valheita> "I want to ravage you like Germany ravaged Poland
in WWII"
<Valheita> O_O
<^QuickSilver> Well at least they'll pull out.

<mi09>this spam generator is great. i sent out a million
emails for my product
<jives_>how'd it go?
<mi09>great! i gat a 10% return rate
<jives>thats really high!
<mi09>yeah. a hundred thousand people telling me to fuck off

<Entil-Zha> ::creams like a girl::
<NeoPartix> lmao
<Entil-Zha> *screams
<Entil-Zha> fuck you

<schwack> if there's one thing i hate its everything

<dboo> shit...i can hear the cat masturbating again

<RaptorII> Screwing with people's minds is my ultimate
pasttime however.
<Supe> Or is it?!

mac: LOL the vending machine at school hate blacks!
mac: I was waiting in line behind three black guys
mac: they each put in their money press the same button and
nothing happens
mac: I walk up put in my money press the same button and four
Dr.Peppers fall out!

(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it
said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd
things at the bottom of the cake box

<BlackDeth> Now playing: Right Hand - Gripping my penis (and
moving up and down (2001)) @ 192 strokes per second. (0:13/
0:27)

<Calrathan> omg, the despair is making me use gotos!
<Calrathan> goto cliff
<Calrathan> :cliff
<Calrathan> jmp 0xFFFFFFFF

<Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<th0m> no, that's *cock*

<inof> God used fork() to create Eve.

<Ralf> programmers and old people have a lot in common.
<Ralf> we're both always looking for ways to control leaks.
<Ralf> and dumps.

<Abstruse> I personally like graveyard shifts better...I'm a
night owl by nature...
<Abstruse> Besides, the morning shift there is 6 AM to 2
PM...those are the hours I'm usually sleeping.
<phoxleep> 6 AM
<phoxleep> wtf is 6 AM
* phoxleep has never seen 6 AM
<Abstruse> phox: 6 AM = bedtime.  You know, when that big lamp
outside the window starts to turn on?  You DO know about the
Big Room outside the house, right?
<Abstruse> phox: You know, the Big Room you go to when you
have to go buy more food and stuff?
<phoxleep> the big room is sorta cool
<phoxleep> but doom 3 has better shaders damnit
<Abstruse> I hate the big room when the lamp's on...
<jastity> Abstruse: I have my groceries delivered to my Big
Room, I order them online.
<Abstruse> They need to fix the air conditioner out there.
<Abstruse> jastity: I meant McDonalds.
<Abstruse> Or Taco Bell or Jack in the Box or whatever.
<phoxleep> Abstruse: why hasn't greenpeace given them shit
about leaving it on?
<phoxleep> it's a waste of power damnit
<Abstruse> phox: Something about it using solar energy I
think.

<lh> oh shit
<lh> started pickin my nose
<lh> then realised i got like my webcam on to 7 ppl

*** Drive_by_Banning has joined #x1
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Drive_by_Banning
*** Drive_by_Banning sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** Assassin was kicked by Drive_by_Banning (out!)
*** Drive_by_Banning has left #x1

ShortyMcStupid: i was looking at pron on the internet
ShortyMcStupid: and the comp froze
ShortyMcStupid: so i just got up and left
Meneeococoa: hm
ShortyMcStupid: and came back and put my brother's watch on
top of the monitor
Meneeococoa: hahaha
Meneeococoa: thats funny....
ShortyMcStupid: and my parents kicked him out

<y0da> if they took the porn of the internet there would only
be one website left and that would be
www.bringbackbacktheporn.com

<Joby-> so i moved into this new neighborhood right
<Joby-> and like
<Joby-> i rode my bike right
<Joby-> and i saw these 2 hot girls
<Joby-> and they saw me and they waved at me
<Joby-> but then i crashed into a parked car :<
<Mkoll> Real ladies man, arn't you?
<Joby-> yeah

<jacob> fuck my deoderant combined with this other dudes one
smells awesome
<cpd> 0_o and HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THAT OUT

<windAd> haha, epic.
<Choonsen> What is?
<windAd> I set my password for my new keylogger program once
it was up and running, got distracted by cooking ramen, came
back and forgot the password
<Choonsen> Shit dude... you're retarded
<windAd> Noo, its all okay... I just went into the log files
and found out what I typed while in the program. Two minutes
later I now know that my password was 'ramenalmostdone'

<SexcBlnde> I want a creamy chicken pizza
<Bart> yeah same! but I want meatlovers
<SexcBlnde> Hmm
<Bart> we could get half and half!
<SexcBlnde> ?? LOL like who will buy the other 2 halves?? ?;)
<Bart> you are joking right?
<SexcBlnde> ??whatttt??

<jesus_X> Back in high school, I was fueding with this
football phag, because I boinked his sister, then broke up
with her. In the middle of english class, he starts making
noises calling me gay, fag, etc.
<jesus_X> So, after 15 minutes of it, and him not listening to
the teacher to shut up, I got him good.
<jesus_X> I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, and
said:
<jesus_X> You didn't have any complaints last night!
<jesus_X> He NEVER spoke to me again.

<cyn> what the fuck do you need dual gf3's for
<n2deep> cause i want dual monitors
<cyn> how are you gunna fit two AGP cards in one box?
<n2deep> uhm
<n2deep> FUC
<n2deep> FUCK FUCKF

schraitle: have you ever noticed how geeks and the rest of the
world are going backwards from each other?
schraitle: i mean, the geeks started on email and chatrooms,
while the rest of the world were using phones
schraitle: and now, everyone's using text messaging and stuff
on their cell phones, while the geeks have VoIP and skype
schraitle: somebody's going the wrong way

*** joet ([email protected]) has joined #javascript
<joet> hey
<Object> hey joe
<yossarian> where you going with that gun of yours?
<yossarian> hey joe, i heard you shot your woman down
<[Roosta]> shot her down to the ground?
<joet> umm huh?
<impatient> hey joe, where you gonna run to now?
<joet> I think you have me mistakened with somone else

<Azrel> that was a pain in the ass
<AnalBoy24m> I know the feeling.

<HankMcCoy> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's
wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my
voodoo doll.

[TA]-1 Ozzy0: any CSS clans in here?
Hambocho: you must really be into web programming if you're
after a CSS clan.
Lord Traith: I'm after an RSS clan.

<@FlatFace> dude, im fucked up. i got a cd case and i not only
forgot what i was gonna get, but
<@FlatFace> .....
<@FlatFace> FUCK I FORGOT WHAT THE SECOND ONE WAS

<zyrowan> when I have a fiance
<zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the
back of my balls
<zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
<zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic

<Spike> I want to write an OS that gives error messages in
laymen's terms
<Spike> "Your computer is fuckin broke yo. Reset this shit"

<Vhalros> You are what you eat.
<Antoile> Are you calling me a pussy?
<Vhalros> No I very much doubt that I am.

[anewname] CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

<Targen> Just saw the Smallvile season finale. (that's what
you call those, right?)
<NekoGuy> season finale? the last episode in a season right?
<Targen> Yes.
<NekoGuy> Yes, that's right.
<NekoGuy> You've passed the American Television Culture test #
1
<NekoGuy> You win 20 pounds of fat.

<genome> osir, would you mind doing /os umode genome +SqoaAN
<~Osiris> -OperServ- Access Denied - Your NetAdmin is not a
dumbfuck

[The KaptKneeemo] I went to the recruters office stoned as
fuck
[The KaptKneeemo] he asked me how many times I had smoked weed
[The KaptKneeemo] and I was like "TODAY??"

<Indogutsu> I once got an e-mail from the former prince of
Niger.
<Chocoboko> What did he want?
<Indogutsu> To know if I was interested in increasing my penis
size.

<Zooropa> :B
<Lynkx> you have an ass on your chin

< Vice> if paris hilton came and wanted sex.. i think i just
might have
to concede..
< Vice> cos you never know
< Vice> she might have one of those "the millionth customer
gets a special prize" campaigne going on..

(mellly) i got ready to go out last night, and as i was
leaving dad was coming in the door. he said "the bitch is
ready for some action". i say "actually dad i'm not getting
any action". he says "melissa, i was talking about the new
plow i just put on the truck."

<reb> Girls are like rocks; you skip the flat ones.

<spyforthemoon> It's a bad sign when you walk into a room with
a high school senior girl talking about 'prom' and think
"what's she doing with Programable Read Only Memory?"

<ccc> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine  this:
You're a Siamese twin.  Your brother, attached at your
shoulder is gay and you're not. But you only have one ass.

<Sauron> nazis steal everything from other cultures
<Sauron> swastica = stolen, salute = stolen, skinhead name =
stolen
<Sauron> nazi banners = stolen
<Sauron> nazi eagle = stolen
<r3q> world domination = priceless
<Sauron> lol

<+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world
coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short
while and already so many acronyms :-)
<+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still.
:-)
<@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?

<RadiX> I had a thought
<Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.
<RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure
what it was.

<^Migs^> the way I see it, if a school district is going to
block something that's useful for educational, they need to
provide an alternative
<^Migs^> e.g., if you block YouTube, host your own media
sharing site.
<^Migs^> if you block Myspace or Facebook, host your own
social network
<^Migs^> etc.
<tensai> if you block porn, host your own naked pictures

<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on
my toothbrush in the bathroom
<ckx> i fucking clean my mouth with that thing
<ckx> i don't want no skank ass panties on top of it at 8
fucking am
*** skmt changes topic to '<ckx> i hate when i find other
people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in th'
<ckx> yah that's pretty funny
<ckx> almost as funny as picking pubic hair out of your teeth

<bits> about 7-8mil live in sydney
<bits> well not "sydney city" but live in sydney and its
surrounding suburbs
<Joshua> nice
<Joshua> oh wait, you guys are on the metric system
<bits> yep
<Joshua> that's only like 3.5 million people in our system
<bits> lol

<Abstract> So I was going to lick my girlfriend last night..
And I was like trying to find her clit, but it's like a
fucking labyrinth with all that shit down there..
<LuC3D> Shit? Dude, you were in the wrong hole..

<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it
is :(

<Saotome_Ranma> goc what would you say to me if I told you
that I did your mom last night?
<godofcows> you have herpes! :)

<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably
bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade
to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky
ground sky ground sky ground pain