bash.org archive

<Lhayn> WTF? Who would kill over a dollar?
<DMA> bums
<Lizardman> Transients.
<Lhayn> ...In normal society?
<DMA> CEOs

<mightious> it would be cool to get attacked my a monster or
something, I mean think of the stories
<mightious> or if you died you'd be a hero
<Hidden_7> yah, I prepare for monster attacks daily
<Hidden_7> cause imagine if you WERE a hero
<mightious> I have garlic incase of vampires, and a cross
incase of a vampire, and on the rare chance of a vampire I
have holy water
<mightious> ...actually im only prepared for vampires

<mg|Nibble> haha I just use my daughter text phone to email
her friends she was gay
<LeadOP-Toast> isn't that a bit sick? :P
<mg|Nibble> yup
<LeadOP-Toast> kk :)
<LeadOP-Toast> She's not going to be happy :P
<mg|Nibble> servers her right for running a £200 phone bill up
on me
<LeadOP-Toast> oh, fair nuff then
<LeadOP-Toast> :P
<mg|Nibble> revenge rocks :)

<Measure> haha reading about this japanese video
<Measure> girl has to survive on a few eggs and semen for a
week.
<Measure> can't eat anything else
<Ravenlily> ew
<Ravenlily> i hate eggs

<@Adam>Wow, this apple sure does look good...
<@Eve>No Adam!
* @Adam eats the apple.
*** @God sets mode: -oo Adam Eve
<@God> THOU HATH SINNED!

Jahidi:   like 10 minutes ago i was walking down the hall and
it sounded like
that ugly freak of nature with the unibrow that
lives next door was
fucking some other dude...freaked me out
bbyhewie: really?
Jahidi:   yeah...but it must have been something
else...couldn't have been that
bbyhewie: how do you know, maybe he just happened to meet the
most pathetic
inbred dumbass cock-starved crackhead loser of all
time and they're
gonna live happily ever after.
Jahidi:   Nah, you wern't idle

<rS-D00k> this channel is more inactive than my herpes
infection after valtrex
<rS-D00k> although even with valtrex it is possible to spread
herpes to others
<rS-D00k> talk to your doctor before taking valtrex if you're
on a mao inhibitor

<Denyerec> Welcome to Britain, the USA's largest non-nuclear
aircraft carrier!

<himitsu> Can anyone think of a science experiment i can do at
home?
<himitsu> I have this assignment i have to do for year 10
science and i need to carry out an investigation.
<himitsu> Just give me a question i can find out,like do
different brands of liquid paper dry faster and does brown ice
cream melt faster than white.
<BastardKnight> Oh. Oh! Do an analysis of what happens when
you mix a base and an acid as opposed to what happens you play
bass and do acid. It'll be a smash hit.

* Joins: HarryPott
([email protected])
<HarryPott> what is a proxy
* Parts: HarryPott
([email protected])
<Maritim> it is a thing that takes longer than 44 seconds to
explain

*** gimpoid ([email protected]) has joined #
mpeg3c
<gimpoid> hey
<lut> sup gimp
<gimpoid> not much
<gimpoid> lud ?
<gimpoid> got fired
<gimpoid> need work :'(
<DrBK> HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
<DrBK> oops
<DrBK> wrong channel

<Electroly> kurros has a l33t ass projector, I saw a picture
of it just once
and I've been drooling ever since
<T-ball> nice...
<T-ball> I don't have room for a projector... :/
<Brazilian> I have a monkey who draws on my wall really fast

<Afghani> hi
<Afghani> h r u?
<zebra> what the hell kind of language is that?
<zebra> are you fucking fingerly impaired or something?

<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought
some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less
fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the
product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it
cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as
shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in
the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this
is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter
then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used
in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining
spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on

<mrsnazz> I'm a phreaker, you know what I mean, and I flip the
little switch on the red box
<mrsnazz> on the redbox, on the redbox yea
<mrsnazz> I'm to elite for my shirt, to elite for my shirt, so
elite it hurts
<nickr> on the pay phone, on the payphone
<mrsnazz> yea
<mrsnazz> i play my little tone to the payphone

kinky kinsey: oh yeah...wanna bet?
Steel: would i lose?
kinky kinsey: yes
Steel: then no. i dont wanna bet

<Kuiburetsu> I feel betrayed
<Kuiburetsu> denied
<Kuiburetsu> and... and...
<Kuiburetsu> erm...
<Kuiburetsu> about to be kicked for flooding
*** Kuiburetsu was kicked by Quiby (flood)

* sarah13 is now known as sarah14
<ircbuddy> Happy e-Birthday.

<YouDeadSucka> What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnheart have in
common?
<YouDeadSucka> Their last big hit was "The Wall"

<CaRlOs``>: who r u ?
<sQuisha>: im squisha who r u
<CaRlOs``>: i would b Carlos...
<sQuisha>: k
<sQuisha>: glad we cleared that up

SkudSl4y3r: huh, that's odd...
reamererj: what is?
SkudSl4y3r: the median age of the US population went down
SkudSl4y3r: i wonder what this means
SirOmnipotent: the terrorists finally bombed Florida?

<insanity> "Before the internet, the village idiot would stay
in his own village."

<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came
on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get
a big smile on my face.
<LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR.
<LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before
<LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger
combinations on her ass.

<LiaBacci> whats ur name lsd?
<lsd> Ellesdee
<LiaBacci> Ellesdee? is a female name? or a male one?
<LiaBacci> anyway is a pretty name
<lsd> thanks :)

<Saber> help me
<Saber> I just ate a fortune cookie
<Saber> But I don't remember taking the fortune out

<Dave> So my friend in school Andrew said he had linux
<Dave> After saying he got mIRC
<Dave> I told him you can't have both, mIRC is a windows
Client
<Dave> Then he said he had Linux on his laptop
<Dave> I asked him what Distribution he had, he said wal-mart

[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the
bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am]  Necro  ...

<General> i love it when people bitch in a bar about smoking,
though
<General> it's like "hey pal, i don't want to get lung cancer
while i'm over here getting liver disease"

<Boogaleeboo> I'm sorry your budget only allows for 5 dollars
to spend on hookers
<Boogaleeboo> And I'm sorry your ugliness only allows sex with
hookers
<Joe_> How much does yours allow, Boog?
<Boogaleeboo> Silly
<Boogaleeboo> You don't PAY
<Joe_> Ah, the confessions of a Boston rapist.
<Boogaleeboo> It's not rape if you kill them first
<Joe_> Touche

LightGrayMage: all the technology in the world doesn't matter
if the majority of your population is mind numbingly stupid.

<Fredo> wanna see something cool?
<Dementio> no, the last time someone said do you wnna see
something cool i ended up pregnat

<Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will
last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting,
it ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will
last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting,
and ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed
out."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

<three-hams> http://us.feamerch.com another good ass band
<charliex> ass band
<three-hams> (insert hymen between good and ass)
<three-hams> err
<three-hams> hyphen
<three-hams> my god I'm an idiot

CwD | Asbestos: calculus is
CwD | Asbestos: triangle over triangle is equal to square
diveded by - y x
CwD | Asbestos: what is z
CwD | Asbestos: youre like
CwD | Asbestos: wtf
CwD | Asbestos: there is no z
CwD | Asbestos: and they say
CwD | Asbestos: wtf is z n00b
CwD | Asbestos: and while youre sitting there trying to think
CwD | Asbestos: they say
CwD | Asbestos: times up
CwD | Asbestos: youve just been pwnd
CwD | Asbestos: and youre like wtf h4x0rs
CwD | Asbestos: thats calculus

<prence> o
<prence> h
<prence> m
<prence> y
<prence> g
<prence> o
<prence> d
<prence> i was supposed to be cleaning the bathroom, and i was
in there and was like fuck it, ill shave my balls, so i was
shaving away, i had my penis stretched out so i could get the
hard to reach hairs
<prence> and my mom came in, and saw me, and was like oh im
sorry and left!@##@!#@!#@!#@!  she thought i was just cleaning
the bathroom, but I was shaving and now i cant look her in the
face, fizuck

·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .--
.... --- .-. . ...
·cronO· morse code?
·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..-
.----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -.
-.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. -
·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.-
..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ...
--..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-.
.. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. .
·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse
code

<Jonathan> So, let's assume I have a display connected via
DVI.
<jimmy> yes jonathan your porno will be crystal clear
<Jonathan> jimmy: but I like my porno to be all smeary and
blurry like I'm in an adult theater with some fat smelly guy
pulling his crank behind my seat!
<jimmy> then you need to use the native windows drivers for
your video card
<Jonathan> Okay, thanks.

<fholmes> My 8 month daughter was given her first taste of
Gentoo today.
<fholmes> Literally as she ate my boot cd.

<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where
someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself

<billa> lol
<billa> sif
<billa> talk to the hand
<billa> cause the cock aint listening
<JtHM> that'd make you the cock....
<billa> yes
<billa> damn.

<kiwi> once i skipped
<Alby_Fox> she has no idea when she'll have a period
<kiwi> my mom thought i was pregnant
<Proffessor> that's gotta be some scary shit
<kiwi> but at the time i'd never even kissed a guy =D
<Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but,
nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger

srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come over, i told
her i was setting up freebsd
srjames: she thought i was doing drugs

<@genutech> you know those trigun dvd rips i was getting
<@genutech> there all dubbed
* @genutech cries
<@animaniac420> thats like wakin up cauz your gilrfriend shit
in your bed
<@genutech> dude, ani, you need to learn how to use better
metaphors

<Carisear> Ever since i put the "Tires by Firestone" bumper
sticker on my car, no one seems to tailgate me anymore.

<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his
bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack

<gordo> who here knows their trance well?
<gordo> i need the title of that trance song, with the choir
singing in the background
<gordo> (high pitch) la la la la la, la la la la
<gordo> (lower) la la la laaaaaaa, la (high) la la
<WardoG> Wow that's specific

<CyberMind> ive been programming and using computers since my
old days in the womb.
<CyberMind> umbilical ethernet
<SR71Goku> how fast do you get on it?
<SR71Goku> I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s
<CyberMind> actually quite slow.
<CyberMind> network was flooded with protein and nutrient
packets.
<SR71Goku> LOL...
<SR71Goku> "Daddy once DoSed my connection..."
<CyberMind> ok im ending it right there.

jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the
bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get?
Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote
server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position
open for me. :D

<JaKa> In soviet russia, you must kill a kitten to masturbate

<MadMax> I'm going to buy myself another 6 80GB Seagate
Barracuda IV's :D
<MadMax> That way, I can set up a 1/2 Terrabyte array
<MadMax> Wouldn't that be incredibly cool?!
* Altariel looks at MadMax and shakes her head
<Altariel> thats a penis thing, isnt it.

<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff

<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37
every day!

<UPC747> do you need bitches Max?
<Max> I have man bitches
<Max> er
<Max> MANY
<Max> man, what a fucking typo
<UPC747> ROFL

<Tink> work is punishment for failing to procrastinate
effectively

<quik-silver> You know, life really IS like a box of
chocolates
<quik-silver> A cheap, meaningless gift that noone ever asks
for

xeon: "Keyboard Failure, Press F1 to continue"
xeon: ....... wtf?!

<monoxyde`> damn, irc is full of idiots
<toothpik> whos irc?

RonnieOchsleder: Do you use Trillian for chat? It rox.
fromagie: probably
fromagie: i use adium
fromagie: i haven't tried trillian - i shall
RonnieOchsleder: It has lots of nice little icons.
fromagie: oooh icons
fromagie: looking now
fromagie: ah, it's for windows?  I no have windows
RonnieOchsleder: Yeah, it might just be for Windows.
RonnieOchsleder: Fu - sorry - ck.
fromagie: It's o - dick - kay
RonnieOchsleder: That's good to kn - fuck off, then - ow.
fromagie: Okay, nice tal - moron - king to you.  Take it - up
the ass - easy.

<OO7MIKE> superconducting is how you turn a 3ghz processor
into a 30ghz processor
<OO7MIKE> which is my main research subject
<Rukee> how do you get it that cold and keep it that cold?
Liquid nitrogen?
<pocketMidget> use a woman's heart as the heatsink
* pocketMidget rimshot

<n> hi...okay, i know exactly what i want!...you should be
older than myself...larger in stature than me...preferably
Well~Hung..intelligent..cool..funloving..easy going..gentle
with a firm touch..you should just relish the the role of Top
Daddy who takes what he wants!...me: i am Totally shaved and
smooth all over(everywhere!)..soft smooth tanned complexion..i
LOVE wearing sexy little panties and being
playfully~submissive to your advances in an almost femme
manner
<n> lol
<booger> i wonder how she shaves around her own asshole
<booger> thats gotta hurt
<pat> nair?
<booger> what if she gets nair up her ass?
<pat> e-mail her and find out
<n> uhm
<n> thats a he
<booger> OMG

<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Say My Name.mp3]-[4.34mb/4m 30s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 04 - Warm Hugs.mp3]-[5.23mb/5m 26s]
<Dynamo> No one saw Destiny's Child, or Pet Music, aight?
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Independent Woman Part 1.mp3]-
[3.6mb/3m 44s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 08 - Chasing Clouds.mp3]-[4.4mb/4m 35s]
<Dynamo> This PC must hate me.

<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are
already pre pounded and fluffy

<HeatZync> what is the use of the calendar?
<RogueRunner> it's like DNS for days

<jayo> hey how do haiku's work? is it 5 sylabals the first
line, 7 the second, 5 the third?
<R0y2> yeah
<R0y2> when i cum in you
<R0y2> i feel the law is broken
<R0y2> you are twelve years old
<jayo> haha
<R0y2> ^_^

<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?

<Lyricwriter> Don't ask the guy with the bad memory
<Daniac> Who's that?
<Lyricwriter> You
<Daniac> Oh yeah

<strobe> damn, NeXT users are a weird bunch
<strobe> Did the NeXT cube come with free crack or something?

<LaBOMBa> I forfeited a wrestling match to this dude becuase
his name was Dick Harden

<Bota> well, either my balls smell like propane, or my propane
smells like balls : either way i think we have a problem