bash.org archive

<snowzone> well that's weird. i just got memory access
violations from a windows program and it DIDN'T crash...
<Olafsson> it violated another program but the other program
must have liked it..

(http://www.yodelbank.com is the worlds first cyberbank u can
access using IRC bot commands)
*** Now talking in #yodel
<r0bb0r> right this is
<r0bb0r> a stick up
<yodel> hi r0bb0r
<r0bb0r> gimme all ur money
<r0bb0r> and no one gets hurt
* r0bb0r waves gun at all
<r0bb0r> come on then i am not joking
<yodel> here take it!
<yodel> DRAN_100.00_20031119_ShcjkX/
CTzeExE0icgZColDatsQ_F+CldGJPOQO4VKMxSnPdH6SaER w
<r0bb0r> thank u
<r0bb0r> is this your first robbery?
<yodel> yes
<r0bb0r> excellent i can claim the first IRC robbery in
history
* r0bb0r runs off

<vidkid7> he told us about some kid who turned in a render of
a hunting knife for his project
<vidkid7> and when he asked to see the wireframe "you sure?"
<vidkid7> "yeah, I need to see it"
<vidkid7> "...ok"
<vidkid7> and he turned it to wireframe
<vidkid7> and had written "I'LL KILL YOU" over and over and
over like a thousand times behind the image
<vidkid7> @_@

<Sherazard> some times i wonder when i was 10 if i had hair in
certian areas
<Sherazard> sometimes i wish i could go back in time and check
<Sherazard> just to put my curiosity to rest, you know
<Sherazard> but then i think, what would i say to 10 year old
me?
<Sherazard> "hi, i'm your future self, take your pants off. i
need to check something"
<Sherazard> that'd probably scar me
<Sherazard> and as a result my current self would be even
*more* fucked up

(+shadebug) so, I just spent half an hour getting a latino
radio station to work on my computer
(+shadebug) you know, to keep abreast of the latino music
scene
(+shadebug) finally get it working
(+shadebug) they're playing coldplay

<frostyburn> damn it, there needs to be an auto-formatting
script in word that will automatically change all margins to
1.10 inches, spacing to 2.10, font size to 12.5, and
intermittently paste quotes from no name fuck faces... because
i'm getting tired of turning a 3 page paper into a 4 page
paper all by myself

<mgodzilla> I was a r&d micro electronics engineer tech. in my
youth.
* mgodzilla designed this dc to dc power supply they put on a
satellite
<Elephark> awesome
* mgodzilla sent the satellite into orbit and lost contact w/
it
<Elephark> at least it was powered
<mgodzilla> they said it was mostly likely due to a power
issue.
<Elephark> ...oh
<mgodzilla> I was like - what are you lookin' at me for?!?

<Ratzilla> I rest my cake.

<klafka> Penis-enlargement pills contain a less-than-sexy dose
of bacteria and other contaminants
<Tecato> What's some contaminants when it comes to a bigger
penis?
<klafka> what if your penis turns green?
<Tecato> Will it be big?
<klafka> monstrous
<Tecato> Then you could name it Hulk.
<Tecato> And before you have sex you could scream "HULK SMASH!
"

<^sWift> omfg
<^sWift> this shit is horrible
<^sWift> McDonalds now offering a free music download with the
purchase of a Big Mac Extra Value Meal
<^sWift> "an average of 12 songs on a CD, so that's about 7200
calories you will need to consume in order to get an album's
worth of music"
<^sWift> ahaha
<^sWift> People are willing to slowly kill themselves for free
mp3s

<kaber> My buddy just got a divorce. they had 4 kids. she met
some new guy and she thinks she'll have it better with him
<kaber> so the women leave thinking it's greener on the other
side and what not.. and they usually end up getting shafted
even more
<tomalak> kaber: I think that's the point.

<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4

<Amenace> so your a fifteen year old girl that thinks my wife
is hot, hang on while i have a wank

<billy_s> chinese cant be THAT hard to learn, only one
characeter to learn - '?'

<ChikBRB> My bagle bites tray had fuckin 10 bites
<ChikBRB> they usually have nine
<ChikBRB> THEIR LOSS HAHA
<Guilty> Wow thats quite a find
<Guilty> The gods have truely smiled upon you

<SYch0> maybe in your dreams
<SYch0> and youre pretty pathetic if you dream about me
<SYch0> :o
<MadHatter> you cease to exist as soon as I close irc
<SYch0> hah
<SYch0> which is never :|

<katers> my fucking roommate
<katers> needs to stop being a ho
<katers> or cut me in on the action
<katers> one or the other.

<halo@home> i LOVE childrens books
<halo@home> http://images.amazon.com/images/P/
091629188X.01.LZZZZZZZ.gif
<Ronak> i never saw breasts that looked like peppermints
before...
<halo@home> WTF are they trying to teach kids?!!!
<Para@Work> "Bobby and his brother play 'differently'" by
Genichiro Yagyu
<halo@home> "The Benefits Of Being A Boy-Scout Den Leader" by
Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'Take candy from strangers' by Genichiro Yagyu
<halo@home> "It only hurts the first 3 times" by Genichiro
Yagyu
<Ronak> 'slamming the ham' by Genichiro Yagyu
<chawk> "That's not milk" by Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'Playing hide the salami, for beginners' by Genichiro
Yagyu
<Para@Work> "THE PHYSICS OF QUANTUM-SPACE TIME CONTINUUM WITH
APPLICATIONS TO BLACK HOLES AND OTHER SPACIAL ANOMOLIES" by
Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'wiping your ass for beginners' by Genichiro Yagyu
<Chro> "Splash Splash Rub a Dub Dub. SUPRISE!" a book for all
friends by Genichrio Yagyu
<chawk> LOL Chro
<halo@home> DUDE I AM SO FUCKING GLAD I AM NOT A KID RIGHT NOW

<redfox> hmmm.. i heard a loud noise downstairs
<redfox> nobody's home, brb... investigating
<Rezn0r> it's your sense of self-worth running away
<Rezn0r> and knocking over furniture on its way out

<Funk> I think the puppet on the left supports my views. No, I
think the puppet on the right supports my views the best. Hey,
they're both held by the same man! GO BACK TO SLEEP AMERICA,
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS IN CONTROL
<craNKGod> WE NEED TO REVOLT
<Funk> Trust me, you Americans are revolting enough

Matoyak: We caught a catfish with some weird-ass face
tentacles...
Matoyak: That's the best way I can describe these things.
Tru: lol
Tru: I thought weird-ass face tentacles was a defining
characteristic of catfish...
Matoyak: It wasn't like whiskers...these things were half as
long as the fish itself, and almost as thick.
Matoyak: Heh, these were above and beyond the call of duty for
catfish face tentacles.
Matoyak: Weird-ass sunovabitch.
Tru: hehehe
Tru: mutant
Matoyak: Yeah. It was big enough to keep, but we tossed it
back cause we weren't going to eat something that looked that
fucked up.
Tru: if  you eat a mutant catfish, perhaps you get mutant
catfish superpowers... I wonder what those would be?
Matoyak: ...
Matoyak: The ability to become a bottom-sucking scum eater?
Matoyak: Hrmmm
Matoyak: So you become a politician.

<skrike> zhix: guess what Im doing
<zhix> skrike - what?
<skrike> zhix - Im doing the dishes, cuz sometimes thugs gotta
tell the dishes whats up
<zhix> skrike - damn straight
<skrike> Im in the kitchen going "bitch you betta get clean"

<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender

* McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful
than apache.
< bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than
windows using PHP  while standing on my head and driving a
car.
< ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more
powerful webserver than IIS

* Nazgul thinks it's amusing when people are soooo anal
retentive that they can't even pass up a single mistyped
letter.
<Rico||Sleep>: Anal-retentive is hyphenated...

<Chis> anyone have any files in digital format?

<+Badger[49]> ...would you pose nude for, like, a billion
dollars? o.o
<+Nightwish> who wouldnt
<+Nightwish> o_o
<+Nightwish> then again i'd pose for like 5 cents and a candy

<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on

<Tharivol> once I had to write something on the computer on
paper..
<Tharivol> i hit ctrl-c then...
<Tharivol> my brain sorta got jammed in neutral

<siddy> stupid internet
<mutley> whats up with it? works fine for me :|
<siddy> its slow as hell
<siddy> im going to call them up and ask for it to be
restarted
<mutley> the internet?
<siddy> yeh...

<cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
<DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
<DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
<cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to
unsuspecting sales people
<DarthBong> hehe
<keetz> hahaha
<DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my
credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"

<DrWoody> One time I was at the store with my friend and there
were these underage kids in the porn section they kicked out
while we were in there.
<DrWoody> so they gave us their money and we bought porn for
them
<L33TKnight> your good deed for the day?
<DrWoody> I like to give back to society.

«%Kashkin» "Existence is boolean."
«%Kashkin» Discuss:
«@blue_tetris» You either exist XOR you don't.

<Gekigangr> somewhere, out there on the net, is an HD full of
lame quotes

<Sonic> snow tomorrow. yay. 
<Turtle> No snow in the hill country of Texas....where are you
expecting your snow, sonic? 
<moc> no snow in houston either 
<Sonic> pennsylvania 
<Sonic> only about 4 more inches 
<2slim> we have 4 feet here in Idaho 
<fiver> is that due to inbreeding slim?

* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably

<@cray> ^^_
<@cray> oh shit
<@cray> picasso smilies
<@cray> ^_^

<guest> u kno what rules
<guest> introducing girls to pot
<yesue> no lie
<guest> u smoke pot alone with a girl for the first time
<guest> there is a 250% chance of getting laid

* |BEER| is AFK, i'm just a bot...day in and day out all i do
is serve you....thats it!!!! I QUIT!!! TELL CB TO FIND HIMSELF
A NEW BOT!!!!  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n 
* |BEER| has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<dr_binks> damn the bot just became self aware

<Valdrak> SuperMan is a virgin
<Wind-X> no way superman is a virgin...
<Wind-X> dude grew up on a FARM.

<AriaStargazer> the other day
<AriaStargazer> in the car
<AriaStargazer> i was in traffic
<AriaStargazer> and i thought to myself
<AriaStargazer> "jesus this lag sucks"
<AriaStargazer> and then i looked around
<AriaStargazer> and i was like
<AriaStargazer> ..............

<Liquids> man I have to broaden my date horizons
<Liquids> I am so sick of starting dates off with "are you a
cop" and ending it with "do you take visa"
<Liquids> could be worse
<Liquids> they could start with "asl" and end with /ignore

volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks
volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest
excuses
volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their
attempts
volume Maxed out: and i give them like
volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method
volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones
volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses
volume Maxed out: like
volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage
volume Maxed out: and sit back
volume Maxed out: and theyre like
volume Maxed out: i dont have a car
volume Maxed out: or
volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or
something
volume Maxed out: and i'm like
volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit

<~Flash> how does one explain the difference between celeron
and non celeron to a non tech ??
<+bomarrow1> one is for toasting bread
<+bomarrow1> the other is for processing instructions

Acire1134:Damn dog keeps fallin off my clock
Impala33157:O.O
Impala33157:I SO read that wrong

<Head> if I download porn off of Kazaa
<Head> you think the RIAA can find me?
<dsbnh> yeah the RECORDING industry has huge ties for porn
<[GSF]Nitro> Head- you will be sued by Ron Jeremy
<[GSF]Nitro> actually, since his penis is a legal entity and
franchise, it will be the wang that sues you
<Head> lol
<dsbnh> its actually declared a country
<dsbnh> you can recieve asylum by hiding under it
<dsbnh> it was recognized as a hero when it saved 3 children
from drowning
<Head> lol
<Panz> and then cummed in there faces
<dsbnh> ....
<Panz> *Splat*
<Panz> ....
<dsbnh> why must you turn a story of heroism into a sick
twisted pedophile affair

Mervin: Alright, thats it
Mervin: I'm so gonna get you
Kelvin: GEEK
Mervin: You are so not 3l337
Kelvin: I am so 3l337
Rocky:Alright geeks, i think we know how to settle this
Rocky: Dungeons and Dragons at D20 paces

<langdon> *** Unable to resolve 255.255.255.255
<langdon> how do i get that IP?
<langdon> is that like.
<langdon> when the internet is full?

<Rann-chan> I just want to run screaming into the night.
<ThePlaya> Do so
<Rann-chan> It's not dark yet.

(On September 11th)
<Sigma> shit, there is no way I'm going to a public vigil
tonight
<Sigma> public crying and weeping does nothing for me
<Sigma> but I know someone will rope me into going
<Kevyn> Public vigil? Fuck that, I'm going to the strip club.
<Sigma> Kev: do your patriotic duty
<Sigma> don't let the terrorists win
<waffle> Kevyn: everyone has to remember in their own way,
BRAVO!
<Kevyn> Word.
<Kevyn> I'll build a NEW tower.
<Kevyn> IN MY PANTS!

<savage> Comic convention all day tomorrow, then off to a role
playing (paper & pencil) convention for the remainder of the
weekend :-)
<marv> role-playing a pencil sounds like it could get boring
after a few days

SG The Clown: lol check this out i photoshopped a pic about
that
Darksyphon23: you credit for mine idea :-
Sweet J Elite: .. rofl
[5 MONTHS later]
Sweet J Elite: i'm gonna go play final fantasy x
Darksyphon23: haha, i was thinkg that too, "you credit for
mine idea"
Sweet J Elite: you do know that it was you that said that,
right?
Darksyphon23: wh...huh?
Darksyphon23: i thought it was you who said that
Sweet J Elite: no, you said it, and sg and i have been making
fun of you for it for the past 5 months
Darksyphon23: fuck..FUCK!
[silence for 5 minutes]
Sweet J Elite: dude, are you pissed?
Darksyphon23: OF COURSE I'M PISSED! I JUST FOUND OUT "YOU
CREDIT FOR MINE IDEA" was MINE IDEA!

<deophite> HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a
boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the
self-described engineering geek took a software approach to
naming his newborn son.
<deophite> Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into
naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.
<Yale> nice ;x
<Craisin> haha
<Craisin> when he learns to walk, 2.1

<GPF> Quake, Quake II, Quake III....three universes joined by
one common theme....BROWN.

*** Moses is now known as Cain
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro
<KeeperS> ...
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible
* KeeperS is moved to tears

<ugly> haikus are so gay
<ugly> they are just shitty poems
<ugly> invented by japs

<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.

<OpsuPup> i just got some imaginary donuts, and they are
fucking nice
<Xta-C> i just had imaginary sex, and it was disappointing
<bytraper> i just got some imaginary sex, and it was fucking
nice
* Lord-Data thinks byt and xta just imaginarily slept together

<arpee> um
<arpee> i have a charge on my account from 11/12/02
<arpee> oh
<arpee> i guess that's the next business day
<arpee> nevermind
<arpee> i was afraid people from the future were stealing my
money

* SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming
<RavenBUSY> mister gamgee!
<SamGamgee> mister busy
<RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
<JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass

<Yokujou`> iPhone autocorrect: Because "Asperger's Cock" is
exactly what you were trying to convey.

* The_Paco went to the GE appliance store today, crouch-walked
up to one of the large black super-fridges, ran my hand over
it while humming the theme to 2001, stood up, and smacked my
bud... they threw us out shortly thereafter.

<@X-G> makes you wonder ...
<@X-G> why a penguin?
<@X-G> who invented tux?
<@X-G> and how did it become the linux symbol?
<@elver> there's a long story behind it...
<@elver> Torvalds loves penguins, one of them once bit him too
at a zoo
<@elver> and that's basically it
<@X-G> story. too. long. can't. stay. awake.

<@charlie_x> i have a command line program on my pc called
dont.com
<@charlie_x> if you type dont format c:\
<@charlie_x> it says
<@charlie_x> "ok i wont"

<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look
towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to
dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing
like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like
the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.

<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson
<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..

<Milon> I I can't believe I was fooled like that. my brother
and his friend told me there was pie downstairs and as I go
down they had like a giant rubber slingshot set up and they
nailed me with it >:(

<Match> ic
<Kayin> dont say ic. its unbecoming
<Match> i know. sorry
<H4Z3> why is it unbecoming?
<Match> we just learned about this in english. if you say
things like i see and yup, it makes you seem passive
<Kayin> as if you're uninterested in the conversation
<H4Z3> ic
<Match> jerk

<Predictable> "Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy
with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and
sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You
can't like, own an OS, MAN"