bash.org archive

<NyseriA> i just read a book i got for xmas
<NyseriA> its about a sea harrier pilot shot down in bosnia
<NyseriA> he is collected by a troops of SAS FACs
<NyseriA> and, let me recall, when they have to pull out he
says...
<NyseriA> He smacks his SA80 down on the tabke
<NyseriA> and shouts
<Sureshot^> 'who fucking TKed me last round?'

<Uncle> eww rough
<Uncle> theres a mans name in this book: Clitus
<Uncle> imagine how much he got beaten up for that
<GT2> yeah, i bet all the kids at Fictional High beat him up
real good

[Lex_Talion] if the english language was good enough for our
lord jesus christ, then it should be good enough for everybody
else!

<Justin|> tool: hey, you wanna hear a really horrible love
story?
<Nemephosis> you broke your hand?

<Supachikn> Demigoat, you and i are onthe same wavelength
<Supachikn> or at least frequency
<Demigoat> if you and I were ethernet cards attached to a hub
our frames would never collide!
<Supachikn> if you and i were polarised light waves we'd be
fuckin lazer beams!
<Demigoat> Turtles, The - So Happy Together.mp3
<Demigoat> I <3 supa
<Supachikn> i less than three you too, demi

<greetz> where is that?
<Rafiki> After "is."

<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was
only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like
thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble,
and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how
ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th
smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his
dumbass out

<iggz[leafs]>
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL
<Skand|Hockey_Ninja|>
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
<enisoc> it's easy to tell what side everyone's on

R-Salamander: Look at me, look at you! Watch me do that
Pikachu!
PeteMantis: (scratches records)
R-Salamander: We stayed out 'til two o' clock! Watch me do a
Thundershock!
PeteMantis: (scratches records)
R-Salamander: I am bored as hell tonight.
MonkeyBoy: Watch me do the Dragonite!
R-Salamander: Dude... We stopped doing that crap like five
minutes ago. Come on.
PeteMantis: We did?

<freemysoul> my bro's wife divorced him
<freemysoul> he's got a kid and all, too
<freemysoul> the kid decided to live with his mom
<detranova> poor kid
<atlantis> poor woman
<naisesom> your bro's a lucky bastard

(@Asimov) bah, i've got a life
(@Asimov) i just dont let it interfere with my irc :)

<GoteN80> the headline in the paper tonight
<GoteN80> Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

<Einer> Charging for porn is like caging a beautiful unicorn
in a deep, dark dungeon.

<grier> you think you're so god damn floorless
<grier> so superior
<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?
<girer> oh fucken leave me alone
* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)

FLEAM0: I had to watch Memoirs of a Geisha with my friend's
Japanese exchange student...I kept wondering what I would
think if I went to Japan and they showed me a movie called
Memories Of A Hooker

<DTOX> my wife pushed from 2-4 pm and then they said "fuck it"
and got the foreceps and all that fun stuff
<DTOX> but they gave her an episiotimy
<DTOX> the doc took out these scissors with teeth and cut the
skin between her vagina and anus
<CoMBo> so when she takes a shit, it can leak into her cunt
now?
<DTOX> no, I don't know what it's like in canada, but they
stiched her up afterwards
<DTOX> they didn't give her some timbits and say "go back to
your igloo"

<fluffy> also, you drastically reduce your chances of getting
prostate cancer through frequent masturbation
<fluffy> so I think everyone in this channel is safe

<gromky> I used to like to go to #deaf and ask if anyone was
trading MP3's.
<gromky> Still do, once in a while, for old times' sake.

<^Spike^> I just realised
<^Spike^> These new coke cans have 'REVOLUTION!!!' written on
them.
<^Spike^> DAMN COMMUNIST SOFT DRINK
<^Spike^> It also has 'You know you Want it' written on it.
<^Spike^> That's a whole lot creepier.
<^Spike^> So my can is a communist and a rapist.

<ringy> my mom says shed date me if she was my age

<mgod> weights 300 or something 
<mgod> she sez she has a thyroid problem
<bats> um i didn't know nabisco made thyroids

<Tweeder> dude, i was listning to a celine dion cd, and i
pulled up to a toll booth, and the guy called me a fag. >:|

<fileface> can someone help me with my IDENTIFY, i forgot my
pass
<fileface> any opers alive?
<cd> me
<cd> type: /quit i am gay
<fileface> Y?
<cd> cos it will fix your password
<cd> it will set it to 'iamanidiot'
»»  quits fileface ([email protected]) (Quit:
i am gay «~{Polaris IRC}~» v2.04)

<orion> I JUST HAD A RANDOM ETHNIC DRESSING MOMENT
<orion> I PUT A TURBAN ON, SOME JEWELS, AND DANCED TO HATTEN
AR DIN
<orion> back to starcraft editing

<Trivvie> Name That Dinosaur: __________ ?
<Trivvie> 1st Hint: ****************** ********** Question
Value : 5 Points
<Trivvie> 3rd Hint: Lan*a**ia**o*au*u* *a**ue**i* 15.0 secs &
1 Points Remaining
<Trivvie> Times up! The answer was -> Lancanjiangosaurus
Cachuensis

(Bucks) do you hate midgets?
(@Fantasy) yep, I blame that evil midget in rehab
(refused) no rehab is complete without an evil midget
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in the balls
(refused) LOL
(@Fantasy) and he was the perfect height
(refused) rofl
(Bucks) rofl
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) that midget
(refused) ... yeah obviously... but come on.
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(refused) lol
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) then on family/friends day having all your friends
make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting,
dog"
(refused) you kinda deserved it then
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(refused) yeah of course
(@Fantasy) crying
(refused) I'd give that fucking midget a medal
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(Bucks) what an wesome midget
(@Fantasy) had to get a new roomate after that
(@Fantasy) since the midget was my roomate
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets

<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out

< mfh> fuck
< mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may
be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good
programmer

<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed

<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my
guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my
mouth bastards.

<waterfire> All women are gay, or at least that's what they
tell me

[Video`] The future of tech support isn't changing at all.
[Video`] I was in this class of tech support people.
[Video`] I took a screenshot of the desktop
[Video`] Made it the background
[Video`] And moved all the icons
[Video`] And they were confused as hell :

* Gand -> rape a prostitute
<gurov-cali> shoplifting !

<drwiii> this game rules.
<drwiii> i punched a building and it EXPLODED
<drwiii> but enough about that, let's talk about the game.

*  magicsmoke  returns with a mug of coffee that is still
almost black after adding milk
kiri : lol
kiri : that's some heavey coffee then
magicsmoke : i could say that the spoon is standing up in it..
magicsmoke : but i can't see the spoon. i think it's dissolved
Alpha1 : There is no spoon

Jammer sticks a pistol up Meeko's butt and shoots a few rounds
into her.
<Meeko> NO! MY GERBILS!
Meeko cries as gerbils plop out

<Managore> Heh.. All I ever drink is cock and fanta.
<Managore> FUCK
<Apocalypse> !!!ROFLMAO!!! ..Freudian slip eh??
<Managore> NO
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> SHIT
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> FUCK

<skmt> not really. once i reach level 20 virgin, i get a
masturbation skill point.
<PACHUKA> skmt: that is the dorkiest think ever said

<[JAPS]aL3x> I heard [JAPS]KingKhai had sex with his teacher..
only problem was, he was home schooled.

<VolteFace> heh, this SNL is like a mirror
<VolteFace> they're making MJ child molestation jokes and how
the president can't read
<VolteFace> and it's from 1993

<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the
other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.

<Phaze> SOME HOT CHICK
<Phaze> JUST MAILED ME
<Phaze> HER NEW PICS
<Phaze> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<N1k1tA> me too
<N1k1tA> she also offered penis enlargement
<N1k1tA> and home loans

<@Mouring> "How many Monkeys does it take to run this company?
"  "One, because you can get them to work for dirt cheap and
they willwork 24/7."
<@RndPkt> There was an article in scientific america about
some study of monkies.
<@RndPkt> Supposedly some art council in England paid for 3
monkeys and a computer and wanted to see what they did with
it.
<@RndPkt> I guess they beat it with stones, peed on it and hit
the S key a billion times.
<@Mouring> rnd, sounds like most end-users.

<Expresso> I don't play alot of first persons hooters

<Wohali> girls kissing on cbc
<math> WOOHOO!!!
<math> YAY CANADA!
<Wohali> now there's two boys getting ready to kiss.
<math> oh thats just gay

<redslime> "let's take the nutritional balance of oriental
food, put it in
batter and deep fry it"
<redslime> "yeah!"
<redslime> i love eggrolls

<Pantaloons> IT IS AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A CONUNDRUM WRAPPED IN
A WARM FLOUR TORTILLA WITH GUACAMOLE AND SOUR CREAM.

<Peter> My brother got a $1500 car deck for $6.58 today.
<kaliyama> Was that the cost of the crowbar and ski mask?

<Gil_AFK> i hate stuff that works for ages without probs and
suddenly dies without a single error message or anything.
<ElctroJkr> like senior citizens

Statik : are you going to sleep?
Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(

<mannie77> Hi
<Sexygirl89> hi
<mannie77> m/f?
<Sexygirl89> FFS, what would you think?!
<mannie77> oh right
<Sexygirl89> No girl would be stupid enough to use a nick like
this!

<Aitrus> I have three root canals with crowns scheduled, plus
the removal of two wisdom teeth, and two impacted partials.
PLUS two fillings.
<Aitrus> my children will be forced to brush at gunpoint.

<bri> when you're stoned at night the golf course looks like
marioland
<bri> :
<kitten> heh
<bri> i hum the theme music
<bri> and jump on bushes
<bri> but then i get all cut up
<bri> :

<IanJ> so I got on the elevator here to come up to my room and
these girls were in there and they were like "You know, you
live on our floor but we never get to see you!" and I'm
like... "Duh... uhm... yeah... uhh.... well I don't know you
guys..." and then there was an awkward silence. but when we
got back to my floor I pulled out my electric guitar and
started wailing on it. and they accepted me. and I am now the
king of earth.
<ElCarpeto> Ian masters tribal ethics.
<IanJ> the real ending to that little story is a lot more
depressing.

<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a
skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has
flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"

Alex: So I was in the doctors yesterday, when my time came a
large woman walked out of his room and I walked in. He said
'God bless her, I just confirmed to her that
she was morbidly obese.'
Alex: I wasn't too sure what to say, but replied 'You
shouldn't have told her that, the poor woman has enough on her
plate.'

<Wes> Anything good coming on TV tonight?
<kolby> maybe nWo will return
<Wes> Anything good that doesn't involve dudes in their
underwear slap-fighting so they can get a new belt to wear to
the Gay Pride Parade?

<__NoBoDy_> comp is slow as fuck right now freezin up a bit
<__NoBoDy_> heh
<__NoBoDy_> but im a gangsta and just dont give a fuck
<BC|HyDRO> jeah, real gangstas just let their comps run slow

<|NEO|> and she was sucking it so hard the sheets were going
up my ass

[ @niffie ] I have no inhabitions right now
[ @aphr0 ] would you finger my asshole?
[ @niffie ] no
[ @aphr0 ] then you have inhibitions

<kisama_> i've been quaking so much lately
<kisama_> that when i close my eyes
<kisama_> i see quad damage
<D1> I see naked men.

<Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
<Bobzilla> argh
<K Doc> ...
<Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
<Bobzilla> It feels good.

(dOkTeR---) doesnt matter how hot a girl is, if they do drugs
and have a stupid personality, they are just as ugly as the
fat bitch who won the pie eating contests

chickcorea1357: i was so high that the fractal elves started
asking me what the hell I had been smoking

<_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front of someones nick?
<thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel operators..
Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad wanker who spends
his life on irc, has no real friends, and prefers to chat on
here than in a pub?

<Trigger> anyone here know what kind of virus would create
about 100 directories that don't exist?
<Rakoth> windows
<Adam9> or a corrupted filesystem
<Rakoth> that's what I said ;)

<cainispissyill> YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO MATH!
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO STATISTICS!
<badtz-maru> GOOOOOOOOOOO AWAY

<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of
apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I
do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?

<Ainslee> does anyone here use a computer that much that they
find it physically painful to write after a while?
<MellerTime> Ainslee: you mean, on like... paper?