bash.org archive

<tn> !@)#(%&#R
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for
pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or
something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and
BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> hahaha
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<tn> everything.,
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on.  try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve
claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain
a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time.  i have better
things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the
password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
<Peon> ^^

*Isabel has entered #icybercafe
<whitemithrandir> OMG OMG OMG ISABEL ASL ASL ASL ASL
<isabel> Altitude: 6-52 meters above sealevel. Speed: 62 mi/
hr. Location: Eastern seaboard.
<whitemithrandir> coo. wanna cyber?
*Isabel has left #icybercafe

Hunting Bounties: Where can I get a ps2 emulator?
OOPRCT: from YNOS
Hunting Bounties: Where is that
Hunting Bounties: ?
OOPRCT: it's a secret company
OOPRCT: try searching on the programs called EKAF and SURIV
OOPRCT: EKAF and SURIV has the YNOS emulator
OOPRCT: DIPUTS also has it

<ThePerfectCore> I hate "fake-geek" chicks.
<blacksun> Oh yeah?
<ThePerfectCore> "omg i lik compooters"
<ThePerfectCore> "Yeah?"
<ThePerfectCore> "yeah my dady bought me a dell 2day it has
2ghz of ram!!! loool!!!!"
<blacksun> hahaha
<ThePerfectCore> *thud thud thud*
<ThePerfectCore> That would be my head fucking the wall
<ThePerfectCore> My wall gets more action than I do

<T-Dragonus> Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your
pants!"
<T-Dragonus> Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole
in there now."

<@wangzang> HOLLY SHIST EARTHCQUAKE
<@wangzang> OMFG
<@wangzang> whoa
<@wangzang> holy fucks
<@wangzang> jeseu i'm not kididings
<@wangzang> jesus christ
<@wangzang> omg mog mgoomgmgo
< SteamedHams> it must be shaking the shit out of your
keyboard
<@wangzang> omog

<conform> i'll quit masturbating when you pry my cold dead
hands from my cold dead cock.

*** zaney was kicked by Ash (I know you're not stupid! Don't
think you can fool me!)
*** Ash sets mode: +b *!*zane@*.cyberverse.com
<hypr> hahaahhaha
<Ash> [13:35] <zaney> whats the greatest nation in the world?
<Ash> [13:36] <Ash> Mexico!
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> uriNATION HAW YOU idiot!@
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> hahahahhaa
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> thats funny
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> urination is peee btw
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> pee jokes own

*** crunchybl has joined #xml
<crunchybl> anyone know xml in here

<jonathans> i wonder if all women think like that
<reubenf> not all women think

<flee> fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to
<flee> suffering, suffering leads to ice cream.
<mrg> mmmm, ice cream
<6> ice cream leads to fat, fat leads to jazzercise,
jazzercise
<6> leads to SUFFERING
<mrg> yay the cycle of ice cream is complete!

<jarmund> I've always wanted to have sex while watching
midget-porn, just to see if it's humanly possible to have an
orgasm while laughing your ass off

<brainchasm> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and
hang a little curtain

[17:36] <Darric> lol, Rick, according to the stats I'm
responsible for ending conversations on 5 different
occassions. =P
[18:43] <Darric> You guys are doing this on purpose...

<Al> you left a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of my
heart

* scotteh sends a letter to mister bin ladem... with some
white power in it
<arto> white power????
<arto> YOU RACIST
* goofie rolls her eyes
<scotteh> POWDER!$!@@

<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass
<notmewse> oh shit wrong window

<n2d2> i didnt put bon jovi in the playlist
<n2d2> oh my god
<chaobacca> 11:36:54
<chaobacca> Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
<n2d2> my bon jovi mp3s have become self-aware

<TuxMan> beh you know what happened...
<terminus> what?
<TuxMan> i whacked off while watching the linux kernel
compile...
<TuxMan> i mean... uh...
<terminus> o_O

<Fishfood> DONUT MASTURBATION IS LIKE SEX IN THE SAME WAY A
CYRIX 333 WITH A VODOO 3 AND A 2 GIG WD HARD DRIVE IS LIKE AN
ATHLON 2600 WITH 1TB MAXTOR RAID ARRAY AND A MODERN NVIDIA
GRAPHICS CARD
<Funk> Fish, could you make sex any less sexy?
<Fishfood> FUNK IM TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO DONUT
<Donut[AFK]> UHH FISH
<Donut[AFK]> I DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND PUMP
<Fishfood> DONUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HANG UPSIDE DOWN
FROM THE DAMN CEILING
<Fishfood> IF MASTURBATION WAS LIKE SEX WHAT THE HELL WOULD
GIRLS BE FOR
<Funk> Masturbating over.

<PJ> Ok
<PJ> let me get this straight...
<PJ> Your pregnant wife shoved speed down your throat during
sex?
<Covert22-UNS> Yup pretty much

[tiger_yamato] I like to get ebooks on my emulated palm pilot
[tiger_yamato] It's sad when you think about it
[tiger_yamato] I'm using my computer to emulate a palm pilot
to emulate a book..
[tiger_yamato] And I work at a LIBRARY of all things
[mappyman] haha! now THATS funny
[tiger_yamato] People tell me this book is great, or that book
is great
[tiger_yamato] And I come home and download it

<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid,
and a bucket of sand?
<rusty-chix> wtf?
<_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand
*** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.)
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #teens

<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER
CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY

* Rasputin found a student's share open on the network of 2.35
gigs of PR0n
<Rasputin> plus various movies and other crap
<Neep> Are you going to admin his ass or download it all?
<Rasputin> both, Neep. Both. :)
<Prior_Tuck> yes...but it could be illegal.
<Rasputin> What's illegal? I'm archving for possible
er...administrative purposes

<Vincent_T> natl: are you m/f?
<natl> Yes, I am.

* +Onima does the robot
* Shinta-san sticks his foot out while onima dances
* Onima does not trip cause the robot does not require you to
move your feet
<+Onima> :D
<@theGrinch> lol!

* ClusteR- is away [log: on]
<Icecream> What script are you using?
<ClusteR-> huh?
<ClusteR-> I don't use any script
<Icecream-> So did you just type /me is away [log: on] or
what?
<ClusteR-> yeah...

<`KArmA> and now, an Ode to Redhat 8, in free verse
<`KArmA> I heard that you were cool
<`KArmA> I read the reviews which said you were
<`KArmA> I downloaded your isos and burned you to CD
<`KArmA> The install was beautiful
<`KArmA> You loaded just fine
<`KArmA> But your network configuration sucked and you lied to
me about my soundcard
<`KArmA> Then you wouldn't update your software like you said
you would
<`KArmA> you lied repeatedly to me about my kerberos 5
libraries
<`KArmA> the sound still won't work despite your assurances
<`KArmA> and I'm left rage hating you, your company, the
development community that spawned you and Linus Torvalds
himself
<`KArmA> Fuck you Red Hat 8, if you are the example of what
Linux Desktops are supposed to bbe
<`KArmA> then I will continue to use OpenBSD
<`KArmA> . . .
<`KArmA> thank you
* JaG cheers
<phr0work> hehe
<phr0work> that was pretty nice karma
<DesScorp> ha ha ha ha
<`KArmA> see? poetry does not suck r0b
<`KArmA> it just has to hit you in the right spot
<phr0work> hehe
<`KArmA> and if anyone posts that to bash.org I'm going to jam
my Redhat 8 install CDs up your ass sideways
<DesScorp> you could've just done a Haiku......"Red Hat sucks
my cock......OpenBSD rolls over the penguin......As I shave
Linus Torvald's Mother's back"

<Summoner> UNIX IS user friendly, it's just very choosy about
who it calls a friend.

<AndrewLB> Ya know, I just realized that the entire time I was
supposed to be at church, I've been looking at hentai...

<Xunil96> because i have a metric ass-ton of perl to write
<Dr_V> would a metric ass have 10 cheeks?

* CM[rebirth] annihilates SumDumGoy with a high energy carbon
plasma sphere. (Think DragonballZ "fireballs").
* !SumDumGoy pokes CM.
<SumDumGoy> I win.
<CM[rebirth]> Damn! :O

<mithrandi> In addition, U.S. citizens attempting to speak a
foreign language are
<mithrandi> urged to curb their Americanisms.
<mithrandi> For example:
<mithrandi> Correct  : Est-ce que vous l'avez aux autres
couleurs?
<mithrandi> Incorrect: Est-ce que vous, like, l'avez aux,
like, autres couleurs?
<mithrandi> ROFL!
<Antish> is that supposed to be arabic

<ZS-Hawk> When I turned 18, I got a gillette mach 3 in the
mail from the air force I think. I opened it up in front of my
parents, and my dad says "ooh, nice razor! I'm going to do to
that one what you do with mine!" and before he could finish
his sentence, I said "noo! Don't shave your balls with my
razor!" and before he could think, he laughingly said "no, I
mean beat it on the sink until the blades are all crooked!"
<ZS-Hawk>  About 10 minutes of my mom giggling and my dad
realized what I said, but I was out the door. It never came up
again.

<Lo-Rez> having sex lowers your immune system
<coalesce> i must be immune to everything then

<ALIVE> what was adams punishment for eating apple
<MrMan> work
<MrMan> pain
<Kaiti> death
<ana> death
<Bayls> he lost ops

<@WatchDragon> dude, i am like -- that close to having my
boating licence
<@motardo> dude, you are like -- that close to having a mullet

<Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even
though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White
House.
<Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
<Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database
codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
<Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a
name that long has to be running NT of some form.
<Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before
it crashes.

* @Magn0lia catches TollsXP and gives him an atomic wedgie
*  TollsXP 's nether regions emit radiation now
*  ramoth4 gives TollsXP an iWedge
*  TollsXP 's nether regions are now manufactured by apple
*  ramoth4 gives TollsXP a WedgieXP
*  TollsXP 's nether regions crash
< TollsXP> or perhaps they hang ;)
< TollsXP> but I certainly hope they don't freeze.

kobbie|pot has Quit iRC (Write Error: Broken pipe)
kobbie|work has joined.

<MO-Pantsu> dentist gave me a temp crown and a HUGE lump of
filling to hold it on. now I can feel the pain starting as the
painkiller wears off and my jaw don't sit straight. In fact
the temp crown is like sharp and shitty and I could bite my
tongue off with it.
<karaipantsu> Why?  Linkin Park's music is awesome.  Their
Lyrics leave a lot to be desired, but I don't put much stock
in lyrics
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> i like the music a lot
<Cidsa> the guitar
<karaipantsu> I like their reliance on more non-rock related
instruments.
<karaipantsu> Like Pro audio and piano
<Cidsa> yea
<Chimerasame> i just got my conversations crossed
<Chimerasame> i'm like "what the how does dentistry involve
Pro audio"
<Chimerasame> i guess they can blast your plaque off with
sound
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> they use a air blaster thing too
* MO-Pantsu whimpers
<Chimerasame> <dentist> "CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIN"
<tartar> well fuck this, i'm leaving

<Zephyrr> Nobody should steal my band's name...not that they'd
want it...but if they do, I'll tell my mother and she'll do
stuff...
<Zephyrr> So there.
<Undine> Fear Zephs mom.
<Undine> She does stuff.

<@parasyte> I went straight on to my room, where I expected my
nice, big bed. So I opened the door...
<@parasyte> ...and saw my sister riding her fat friend
<@parasyte> My first thought was: "wow, she got tits yet " My
second on was: "Wow, he got 'em too"

<timer> my penis has a linux distribution on it
<defz> minix?

<Liam> my sister had friends over and of course she likes to
look cool in front of them by doing funny stuff
<Liam> so i had just come back to my room from eating
<Liam> and i decided to whack it
<Liam> and i hopped on my bed and unzipped quietly
<Liam> and then i just hear this laughing
<Liam> and i sit up
<Liam> and i realize my sister is _under my bed_
<Liam> i zipped back up before she got out and noticed,
screamed at her and kicked her out

<sFa-Stryder`mp5> im fucking 96% iq.

<LULU-LION> yea i finsd hy school and im going to choleg dome
ass

*** Jesus is now known as [_[_]
<[_[_]> lets see you
<[_[_]> break my ass of steel

«+ GearSlayr » and my cat shits on the floor now too cause
she's getting old
«+ GearSlayr » if its not near a litter box it just shits. it
did it on the stairs once and i slipped on it and almost broke
my neck
«+ GearSlayr » i'd love to kill that cat myself.
«+ GearSlayr » fuck it, it'll have depends on or something
«+ GearSlayr » thats what i'll do
«+ GearSlayr » i'll tie a diaper to my cats ass
«+ GearSlayr » or a bag or something
«+ GearSlayr » can you picture that?
«+ GearSlayr » that would be the most pathetic thing ever
«+ NathanRomulus » your cat will sit and tear it off
«+ GearSlayr » yeah probably
«+ NathanRomulus » and then proceed to crap on your floor
«+ GearSlayr » seriously though that cat needs to be put down
«+ GearSlayr » its like 17 years old
« syrup6 » wow
« syrup6 » old as fart
«+ GearSlayr » and damn... you'd think my dog could just drag
its ass outside after it takes a shit... BUT NOOOOO
«+ GearSlayr » i know just what my dog thinks... "how can i
piss him off... i know.. i'll drag my ass right next to his
computer so he HAS to clean up the skid mark!"
«+ GearSlayr » longest skid mark that dog ever made was 12
feet... it was so amazing i had to measure it
«+ GearSlayr » i should've taken pictures
«+ GearSlayr » it was fucking hilarious

<Plank> there's a special halloween version of goatse! the
image if modified so it looked like a halloween pumpkin!
www.goatse.cx
<Suave|Away> Bloody hell.
<Suave|Away> And I clicked it, too.

foop> computers need to burst into flames more often

<godun> hey,i think that you are using a vulnerable version of
mirc,please install this security update -> http://
192.168.2.104/Fix_Mirc.exe

<dave2away> furries are people too! and animals

<Sargasm> It must be a bitch to write your name in the snow in
Arabic

<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Welcome to ftp.idsoftware.com
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Connection from 12.246.148.57 logged
<kadafi:#916> You are user 201 of 200 available connections.
<kadafi:#916> IM USER 201 BEYOTCH

<@amfeorgmloow> jon do chicks dig the C
<@Jon> amfeorgmloow: they scream preprocessor directives when
I take em from behind

<Meekitty> One day, I will become a Fairy Prince.
<Meekitty> This involves a sex change, killing thousands of
dragonflies, and a multitude of staples.

<@Total-MK> You know when you play SMB and you get that weird
thing at the end of each stage that says 'sorry the princess
is in the OTHER castle' do you have herd panties?
<@Total-MK> :P
<@Total-MK> *her
<The_Purple_Bunny> Bowser's got all her panties.
<The_Purple_Bunny> He ain't sharing.
<The_Purple_Bunny> >:(
<@Total-MK> lol.
<The_Purple_Bunny> Everyone knows the only reason she got
kidnapped so many times is because she WANTED it.
<@Total-MK> Well I always wonderd what she was doing up in
Bowsers flying duck thingy in SMW.
<The_Purple_Bunny> Blowjob, DUH!
<@Total-MK> and she kinda goes down after throwing a mushroom
out...ya know
<@Total-MK> *Help Me Mario!* goes down
<The_Purple_Bunny> She throws the mushroom out as a way of
saying "FUCKING GO AWAY"
<@Total-MK> lol.
<@Total-MK> And then there is bowsers face too
<@Total-MK> lol
<The_Purple_Bunny> It gets orgasmic to the point that Bowser
can't control the vehicle anymore, and it just bounces along
the ground.
<The_Purple_Bunny> The mechakoopas he tosses out are his way
of saying "Ok, we're done using these up here, you play with
'em."
<@Total-MK> lol
<@Total-MK> so thats why in the 3rd part of that fight...it
starts bouncing up and down pretty hard
<@Total-MK> and what of those Big Balls?
<The_Purple_Bunny> Bowser's anal beads.
<@Total-MK> ewww

<kuribo> [Random Topical Haiku] (Pedophilia) Stop touching my
thing. Your hands are rough and calloused. I am only six.
<kuribo> [Random Topical Haiku] (Slashdot.org) I've Got A Cool
Site. What The Fuck? So Much Traffic! Now My Server's Down.

<Robbie0> Yoshi: Why can't i ride you on Mario 64
<Yoshi> Okay...
<Yoshi> First off
<Yoshi> I ain't like that
<Robbie0> sorry

<cabooserwar> usr/bin/Laden: command not found

<Garou>  ok, I need hot sandwich ideas
<Garou>  I got Ruben/Buffalo Chicken Burger/Meatball
<West>  chicken ranch
<Rail>  philly cheesesteak
<Garou>  hrm philly cheesesteak
<Garou>  good one, I'll put that one down
<Shinji>  Garou: Larry King, Oprah, John Goodman.
<Garou>  Those are Sandwichs?
<Shinji>  No, it's a sandwich.
<Shinji>  And boy, is it a hot one.
<Garou>  facepalm.

<Fozzie> why is it so hard to find a good windows font?
<Fozzie> bah
<Fozzie> what a craptastic os.
<dithi> you get what you pay for
<Fozzie> you mean the copies you buy are better?

* SilverH|Work is now known as SilverHorse
<SilverHorse> OMFG
<SilverHorse> I HELD MY DAMN DIAHREA ALL DAMN DAY
<SilverHorse> THEN I JUST GOT HOME
<SilverHorse> IT WAS LIKE FUCKING HIROSHIMA
<SilverHorse> I mean jesus
<SilverHorse> you could hear the splash across the house
<SilverHorse> it literally covered the entire surface area of
my ass
<SilverHorse> japanese people died when I let it go

<+llama> just sold some vibrating panties
<+llama> $50 panties
<barryh> did you wear them 1st?
<+llama> naw
<+llama> they are like a cheap hotel, no ballroom

<bloop> that's a moot point
<SLing> your mom's a moot point
<bloop> you're cats a moot point
<SLing> your spelling is a mott point
<SLing> ...damn

<lavhoes> fuck me in the Ozarks...
<lavhoes> i was whacking off to this hot naked Japanese chick.
<lavhoes> and it's actually a guy.
<lavhoes> stupid How to Draw Manga books.

<HondaRace> ask shok and how much I charged him for his clutch
<HondaRace> ;)
<Shok> no
<Shok> i'm embarassed
<poste> how much?
<HondaRace> he sucked my dick
<Shok> i felt used and dirty after
<spicrx7> HR, he sucked mine for a stick of gum the other day
<spicrx7> you got ripped off