bash.org archive

<MrCoffee> my pokemon bring all those nerds to the yard and
there like, do you wanna trade cards, damn right, lets trade
some cards, ill trade you, but not my charizard

<Dianuzza> there is a big gay community here in Paris
<usnjay> yeah.
<usnjay> it's called "Paris".

<ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
<proto_> No no no, you take these orally.

<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo

hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class
talkin about how to spell prapoganda
MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that
lesson

<Macko> helping out another customer with pc problems on the
phone again today
<Macko> after he gave me his specs i told him "hold on for a
second"
<Macko> three seconds later he's like, "ok, that turned my
computer off"

<Eticam> I work at a computershop
<Eticam> And you don't wanna know how f***in' STUPID some
customers are
<Eticam> I get questions like:
<Eticam> "What is better, a scanner or printer?"
<Eticam> "I'm looking for a serious mouse"
<Eticam> "My internet doesn't work" "What kind of connection
do you have?" "Windows XP"
<Eticam> "The mouse you sold me is incomplete" "Ma'am, it's
meant to have no cable"
<Eticam> I even had a customer who brought his pc for
technical service
<Eticam> "My dog humped the pc and had an orgasm in the power
supply, and it short circuited" "how's the dog?" "Don't know,
my wife took him to the vet"
<Eticam> really, one day I'm gonna shoot myself in front of a
customer....

<ReDy[CPH]> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup, i
still remember the nightmares that modem brought, the times i
just sat and stared at the screen downloading a 10 mb demo and
the download time said 250hr 56m 16s download time increasing
instead of decreasing, the frustration of never being able to
open a homepage whitout waiting an hour, these things, 56kbit,
it was this that made me who i am today a crazy leecher!
<Razor2k3> i refuse to read all that
<Cloud02> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup
<Cloud02> i still remember the nightmares that modem brought
<Razor2k3> nice
<Cloud02> the times i just sat and stared at the screen
downloading a 10 mb demo and the download time said 250hr 56m
16s download time increasing instead of decreasing
<Razor2k3> go on
<Cloud02> the frustration of never being able to open a
homepage whitout waiting an hour
<Cloud02> these things, 56kbit
<Cloud02> it was this that made me who i am today a crazy
leecher!
<Razor2k3> ty

<Rjx> see i'm fully willing to honour "valentines day" as long
as the female in question honours "naked nintendo day"

<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.

<%typobox43> (I/O, I/O, it's to the bus we go)
<%typobox43> I can just imagine the electrical pulses singing
that.
<+BlindFool> You need to be shot

<Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal.
<NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings????
<Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush

<Chipper> Hexidecimal counting systems are awesome!
<Chipper> On a scale from 1 to 10, I give them an E

<pmcall221> I'm wondering when Windows will work they they say
it will.
<Kittyflipping> You're criticizing millions of lines of code
and you can't even get one sentence right?

<fatmanippo> i watch hentai for the story
<fatmanippo> hentais are hilarious
<KingTaco> a samurai who sucks at everything but sex goes on a
quest to have sex with sex ninjas so he can gain treasure for
his clan XD
<KingTaco> ingenious plotline XD
<Konis> ... "sex ninjas"
<Pruin> my my, this world certainly lacks sex ninjas
<StormGrass> imagine how it'd be like if we DID have any...mm
<Pruin> any hot chicks here wanna dress up like a ninja and
fuck my (and/or others) brains out?
* StormGrass nearly grows a stiffy
<airwaffle> if sexual frustration was harnessable energy, this
channel could power the US

<WorldEdit> do you think the word emo would be accepted in
scrabble
<Sevivrus> Of course not. Emos are never accepted anywhere.

<[j0n0]> games dont make people violent, lag does.

*** YOU has joined #gamedev
* YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR
THIS IMMEDIATELY
<Waxycat> teh
<Waxycat> it says i recieved a fatal error
<posit> Waxycat: oh that happens some times, you have to press
alt+f4 to fix it
<posit> *sometimes
<Waxycat> that quits irc
<Falnom> ALT+F4 quick!
<Waxycat> why?
* YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO RESTART MIRC
<posit> you have a fatal error
<Waxycat> otherwize?
<posit> if you don't restart it may damage your system
<Waxycat> it says i have 30 seconds
*** Waxycat has quit IRC []
<posit> damn yeah
<Palish> bahhahah.
*** Waxycat has joined #gamedev
* YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR
THIS IMMEDIATELY
<Waxycat> what happened?
<Waxycat> again?!?!
<Waxycat> it says it again!
<posit> again?
<Waxycat> what should i do?!
<posit> maybe a config problem
<Waxycat> what will happen if i don't quit?
<posit> not sure exactly
<posit> but I don't think it's good
* YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO RESTART MIRC
*** Waxycat has quit IRC []

<Kristy> i remember new years eve, 2000, everyone had their
computers off because they were afraid they would blow up
cause of y2k, and my boyfriend was begging me to have sex with
him. and i was like "look at my ping! i am not going to get a
70 ping any other night! go watch tv and stop interrupting my
tribes!!"

<Steve> Even "The Magic 8 Ball" is smart, and knows Microsoft
Sucks. It says "Outlook Not Good."

<coolbreze> heres a better qustion; what is the qucikest way
to set up and FTP Server?
<SpeedEvil> coolbreze: post your root password in a warez
group.

<danie2> do you have a gf?
<ieatrocks> hahahahahah
<ieatrocks> wow, thanks for even asking.

<Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
<Twilo> That's your fridge
<Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in
there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?

<Rambo> Have you guys heard about the latest pirate film?
<Rambo> It's rated Arrrr
<Nurple> Rambo, please die

<CookieMan> from slashdot: "InternetNews.com has a report of a
new Internet2 land-speed record: '859 gigabytes of data in
less than 17 minutes.' InternetNews goes on to say, 'This
record speed of 6.63Gbps is equivalent to transferring a
full-length DVD movie in four seconds.'"
<CookieMan> and i thought 56k was slow...
<@RuneB> CookieMan: "and that great disturbance you just felt
was a million RIAA and MPAA executives screaming out in terror
all at once, and then nothing."

<emufreak> And now, an interview with Marat Fayzullin.
<emufreak> How did you get into emulation?
<RST38h> Well, it started when som*** PLZ PAY $35 TO CONTINUE

<cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars"

<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot
of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube

evilada: agh, i'm watching this jesus camp documentary and
it's horrible.
evilada: i want to burn down a church
pnkfloyd: woah woah woah
pnkfloyd: Hold on there
pnkfloyd: wait for me

<Phen-Away> I just figured out what scroll lock does
<AutistiCat> What does it do?
<Phen-Away> You see that light by caps lock?  Well, it turns
on when you press scroll lock

<Klowner> I listen to rap now and then, just so I can
communicate in case my car breaks down in a scary part of town

<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the
other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and
dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/

<futard> IS YOUR NAME
<futard> NICK BECKER?
<strangury> no.
<futard> ok good
<futard> beacuse then you'd be me
<futard> and that'd be awkward

<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the
earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves
around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%

<Inoshiro> Wth
<Inoshiro> "Don't iron, don't put in a triangle, don't put in
an oval"
<harb> Er?
<Inoshiro> Is there a translation table for the washing tag on
clothing?

<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.

<parucha> So the other night I can't sleep, so I go downstairs
and pour a bowl of cereal and decide I'll eat it in my room
while I watch Conan.
<parucha> After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off
and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
<parucha> By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
<parucha> So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the
dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach
the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all
over my shorts.
<parucha> So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean
up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal
inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl
in the sink.
Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my
shorts.
<parucha> Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm
cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get
an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know
it's my parents having the sex.
<parucha> So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt
milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing
fit. A result of being a smoker.
<parucha> A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door -
wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an
erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a
seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white
stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were
just having sex.
<parucha> I've never thought seriously about running away from
home until that night.

* Basil|ArFr was promised a BJ from a member of the opposite
sex if he gets a C in Literature.
<Fozzie> I've heard of parents giving gifts for good grades,
but this is ridiculous!

(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine
(XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you
have"

xpl0re3> fuck, i mean, it worked for romeo and juliet... they
met at a party and were married the next fucking day
beanphoner> you obviously didn't read the end of that play

<rockpapertaxi> so this guy comes to the door
<rockpapertaxi> a jehovah's witness
<rockpapertaxi> and he's like "can i interest you in the word
of christ"
<rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "sorry i have to shut the
door"
<rockpapertaxi> and the guy goes why?
<rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "our sacrificial goat will get
out"

<Death> Hey, Jeff, how do you kill someone when they're on
your nick?
<Jeff> Oh, easy /ns ghost nick password
<Death> Thanks.
<Death> Die.
*** Signoff: Jeff (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
Death)))

<Kolar> For the record, I want to get a copy of that one video
of JFK getting shot, so I can dub in the Unreal Tournament
'HEADSHOT!' sound clip.
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald is on a KILLING SPREE.
<Domarcet> So what does that make the film of Ruby shooting
Oswald?
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald's Killing Spree has been ended by
Jack_Ruby.
<Kolar> Jack_Ruby was looking good until he died of cancer in
prison!
<Kolar> And then the chat window could come up and say
"JFKennedy: OMG camper fagz"

<cast> see, the roof falling on me is the least of my problems
here, the whole building going from |^| to /^/ to ___ is my
problem

<Tim3WorX> somtimes
<Tim3WorX> when i'm naked
<Tim3WorX> and alone
<j4yj0hn> dont finish that sentence

<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH

<jre> There is no profile of a school shooter.  They come from
all walks of life, all religions; they listen to different
music, have different crowds; they are just random individuals
who cannot be determined to be killers until they actually
kill.
* jre is now known as SoccerMoms
<SoccerMoms> WE BETTER CENSOR MOVIES, TV, MUSIC, BOOKS,
VIDEOGAMES AND THE INTERNET THEN
* SoccerMoms is now known as Politicians
<Politicians> K

<Rigel> KingKashue ur pc is not as 1337 as my i have a 122
gighz pinteum 4 pc w/ 5 617 gigbyte hds and a
cd-wr-rwr-drwxr-xr-x 3-way burning/dvd/vcd/mp3 playing drive
and a 37 gigehurz L7 cacheeeee a 58 inch flat moniter w/
2134x5654 resolushun and teh best part is my 400 gbps cabul
capped to 1 kbps connecsion wich routes thru severel dedicatud
OC-255 powered masheens wich are on T460 redirectors
<KingKashue> riiiiight...But can your's do this?
*** Rigel was kicked by KingKashue (to prove I can)
*** Joins: Rigel
<Rigel> Nope.

Alh4zred: You know, I realized something.
GenduShini: You love me?
Alh4zred: I'd rather play games than have sex, you know why?
Alh4zred: Think about it.
Alh4zred: During sex, you have to please TWO people.
Alh4zred: Or more.
GenduShini: because Games last more than 10 minutes
GenduShini: err
GenduShini: that too
Alh4zred: AND
Alh4zred: In a game, if you're not doing well, someone just
goes "fgt" or something
GenduShini: and you just go "my current PC sucks" or "It's an
off day"
GenduShini: But in the sack...
Alh4zred: In real life, you have some chick (in my case) that
goes "Are you a faggot? That sucked"
Alh4zred: You can't blame a bad orgasm on lag.
Alh4zred: Dude.
Alh4zred: You can't.
Alh4zred: "I faked all those orgasms"
Alh4zred: "stfu i was pinging 300"

<themole> I was thinking of quiting my job at target
<soapy> you should look into getting a job at goatse
<soapy> I heard they have a large opening

<Jason> One time I walked into my parents bedroom and they
were having sex, it was traumatizing for them
<Jason> Not so much that I walked in, but that I started
shouting "LET THAT BITCH HAVE IT"

<Foxx> im never fallin in love
<Foxx> i've decided
<FuriousC> you dont choose who you love, love chooses you
<FuriousC> and that little fucking son of a bitch sticks
itself to your face like the godless bloodsucking bastards in
Alien and refuses to let go until it has drained your soul and
left you an empty shell of a human being

< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but
before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic
brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of
normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts
out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> ..... not what I meant.

<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl
in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is

<puppet> a woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to
fake an entire relationship

Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy
controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of
residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled
buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level.
%)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of
residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled
boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that
currently houses my conscious and those physical
manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common
residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum
double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
%

<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were
watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said
"COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me"
<Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing
<APE_> is she hot?
<Dilbert> yes
<Dilbert> my sister is very hot
<Chris_Walken> ....................
<ragnarok2040> ............
<ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org
<Dilbert> why?

(jeek) Jesus Christ.
(jeek) How the hell am I supposed to swallow two alka-seltzer
pills.
(jeek) ?
(seawolf_) put them in water first
(jeek) But then they'll dissolve
(jeek) Oh, I get it
(jeek) n/m

<alphageek> "are you currently alive? [ ] yes, [ ] no"
<Help747> X
<Help747> er
<Help747>                   X
<Help747>                                  X
<Help747>                                                     
X
<Help747>                                                   X
<alphageek> lol. this isn't pin the tail on the donkey
<Help747>                                                  X 
X

<%kiwibonga> Je ne donne pas un merde - I don't give a shit
<%kiwibonga> THAT MAKES NO SENSE
<%kiwibonga> you cannot give a shit to someone
<%kiwibonga> in french
<%kiwibonga> that sounds like "I'm taking a shit in my hands
and I'm keeping it for myself"

<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed
<Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press
teh "Back" button
<Doc> what was i thinking...
<cactoid> you madman
<Tippytoes> risktaker
<Doc> i like to live on the edge

<Sede> I was cleaning out under my waterbed mattress a few
years ago and found a razorblade. I was cleaning it out again
today and found a 5" long nail. I think I have a suicidal
waterbed Sad
<Sede> I also found Auto Insurance from Monopoly, and a
broken-off mechanical monkey hand. I don't know how this stuff
winds up under my waterbed but it is awesome.
<Kazz> there isn't Auto Insurance in Monopoly
<Kazz> there is in Life though
<Sede> The things that wind up under my matress is like the
inventory of an old LucasArts adventure game.
<Sede> I always stashed Auto Insurance somewhere near when
playing Monopoly in case I got the car piece. Then I didn't
have to pay taxes.
<Sede> I usually got to be the car, because otherwise I'd pick
the Scottish-Terrier-riding-a-wheelbarrow-wearing-a-tophat
piece, which didn't leave anyone else many options.
<Sede> My dad probably shouldn't have given me a soldering
iron for my birthday.

<{eCholaLia}> u know if u have a 56k modem , u can save time
buy d/lin songs with the smallest amount of bitrate and
changing em after wards with a convertor
<Natus> i think you may be legally retarded

<Leo-chan> I have a large warehouse full of large weapons of
mass destruction
<webrunner> Destroying mass is against the laws of
thermodynamics!
<Leo-chan> screw the laws of thermodynamics!
* Leo-chan pulls out a perpetual motion machine
* webrunner stops the machine
* webrunner holds out a "Thermodynamics Police" badge

piratebot4: oh man
piratebot4: my friend
piratebot4: this really nice black girl
piratebot4: her name is regina
piratebot4: well, in class they were writting their names
backwards
piratebot4: and she realized
piratebot4: regina
piratebot4: a niger

<spleenex> EQ is like a 3D AOL chatroom with monsters :/

<DrSeuss> My dad was calling me gay and shit.
<DrSeuss> He was like "Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get
a girlfriend!"
<DrSeuss> Thats when I said "Shut up dad, you dont know
anything about my life!"
<DrSeuss> ...
<DrSeuss> So I grabbed my pom poms and left :(

<@drift_nax> i had 2 options
<@drift_nax> close the porn
<@drift_nax> or pull up my pants

<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you 
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.