bash.org archive

<EthenWork> I want my tombstone to say "Exceeded TTL"

<elite_chaR> butcher im sitting like right behind you at
lanwar :D
<elite_chaR> SO NO FUNNY BUSINESS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD NOISES
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SMELLS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SPELLING
<butcher> dude, too late, I just f4rt3d
<butcher> that's a wierd noise, a weird smell, and a weird
spelling.

<symbolik> RDX is so stupid even his windows taskbar clock
flashes 12:00

*** tatsumi_oreo is now known as tatsumi\Beatingof\
*** tatsumi\Beatingof\ is now known as tatsumi\BeatingSoF\

* saxxonpike has joined #wtf
<gt64> i wanna suck some DICK
<saxxonpike> wow i like this channel already

*** atnnn ([email protected]) has joined #winprog
<atnnn> hi
<atnnn> what is the code for "+" on WM_KEYDOWN
<Wy4tt> VK_RTM
<atnnn> and minus?
<Wy4tt> VK_RTFM
<atnnn> i can't find it

<hypr> joo do any drugs today?
<`gb> i don't do drugs fuckface
<hypr> what is pot then
<`gb> a plant

Phil (Penfold): 600/month each for a house is a lot of money
laurence: Uh, £400...
Phil (Penfold): 400?
laurence: 1200/3=400...
Phil (Penfold): oh right
* Phil (Penfold) had to use a calculator
Phil (Penfold): but forgot it was in hex

<MGS05> vegans are the most enviromentally unsound people
<MGS05> they totally take advantage of "survival of the
fittest"
<MGS05> the plants can't move
<MGS05> they can

* xjeff does not read books(he thanks there a waist of time)

<Ashpool> I have offically reached full bachelorhood.  Use a
plate...then chuck it out.
<SirPNut> sif need plate.. eat it straight from the frypan
<@Agg> plate?  pfft, amateur.  when you eat directly off the
table, magazines, chairs, etc..
<SirPNut> then throw the frypan out
<@aftahours> cook everything in the one pot, drain the pot
then eat outta the pot :) tastes better that way
<@Agg> or with my cooking, pour the food out of the pot and
eat the pot, it's more tasty

<hobbit> omg... the reporter on the news just said 'they saw
the suspect busting off a nine mm'
<dis^> hah
<hobbit> thats kinda unprofessional..
<DSLDemon> lol
<hobbit> using slang in a news report..
<DSLDemon> yup it is
<dis^> yeah it is
<dis^> sounds good though
<hobbit> <reporter> And then it was said that he Popped a cap
in one of his own niggahs... he then proceded to roll with his
homies and down a 40
<dis^> lol
<dis^> cool
<hobbit> <reporter> Back to you in the studihizzy

<fusionpit> xp won't let me use 98 drivers form my video cards
<WorthWork> <fusionpit> also my car does not run on diesel as
previously suspected

(~roopurt) there is an article on the washington post "why is
the arab world so easily offended"
(~roopurt) i think it might offend the arab world
(~roopurt) but really
(~roopurt) one person puts up a youtube video and they riot
and kill
(~roopurt) the rest of world didnt come after canada after
justin biebers last video

<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and
there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me
"This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?"
and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk
off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off
and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was
looking mighty strange at me...

<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my
picture was.

<Moonpie> one time
<Moonpie> this kid was talking about how hitler only had one
nut
<Moonpie> and i said 'poor hitler' and got kicked out of the
class

<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...

<pakman> opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they
all stink
<goatasaur> but they're fun to poke at

<Trimangle> ahg, my gf tried to kiss me after giving me head,
I just pretended to be overcome with a sudden coughing fit and
asked for a glass of water, then I took a sip, and gave the
rest to her.
<Trimangle> it was subtle
<MikeyPain> heh
<MikeyPain> I woulda handed her some mouthwash and a
toothbrush
<Trimangle> I was thinking of just hitting her on the nose
with a rolled up newspaper

essiah00Guy: I can't stand your fuckery.
jass10816: lol
jass10816: my mom is standing right behind me
jass10816: good one
Messiah00Guy: THE DRUGS YOU ORDERED
Messiah00Guy: ARE ON THEIR WAY
Messiah00Guy: GG
jass10816: im going to get you
Messiah00Guy: From behind?

gelishan: one of my friends who's a stats major calculated the
significance of their other

<Agilo> you know jerking off in the shower has its
disadvantage
<Agilo> now the rain makes me horny

<spungles> ooh
<spungles> hot chick in the park
<spungles> bbl
<moleman> WAIT
<moleman> give us a URL first!
<xanex> no
<xanex> I think he means IRL

<Ponder> He found a better job, got a new gf.
<Ponder> All because he stopped smoking
<tragic> i need to start smoking, so then i can quit and all
sorta good shit will happen to me

<+subzero> =)
<@nebula> ;)
<@wickeD> =)
<Guest62972> :D
<@sony> SHUT THE FUCK UP HAPPY BASTARDS ARR

kristchan: you know you want some of mama's lovin
cromicus: thats disgusting
kristchan: I'd leave you walkin funnny
cromicus: yeah, that funny walkin is called "running away"

<blazemore> if i were canadian, i'd build a log cabin and then
kill myself.

<Mighty> I'm hoping I misheard my mother; she said the daycare
my brother is going to is called "Little Third Reich"

(Crazy) my shampoo is for blonde people :/
(topher) the instructions are in big letters ?

<Nick-spy> MY ROOSTER RAN AWAY! SOMEONE GRAB MY COCK!

<SuperKing> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave
the house.
<SuperKing> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave
the wife.

Hawkins030: Why are people in 90 degree weather so white?
Hawkins030: Because the tan of 90 degrees doesn't exist.

<Rathen> Ha, this torrent of United93 is 747mb big. Beautiful.

<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just
read ERROR as GOOD THING

<Athena-X> have you ever tried to make a ':|' face in real
life? try and do it without looking stupid and/or retarded.
it's quite a challenge!

<Hawkon> you know.. we (they guys who got on internet in the
early 90's using 14.4kbps modems)
<Hawkon> are alot better in bed
<Hawkon> cause we had to hang tight with that wank till the
damn nude pic got downloaded

<Ak> Today, a blind man who was begging for change addressed
me as I walked past.
<Ak> I gave him a quarter, and he said "thank you kind sir"
<Ak> then, he asked me what time it was, so out of habit, i
held up my watch.
<Ak> He said, "11:56? Thanks buddy."

<DragonRe> gabe: what i did to you was love goddamit
<gabe> maybe in alabama.

<Buchwald> a woman at my work is chewing gum, and blew a
bubble that popped...
<Buchwald> she then said "i'm gonna get gum all over my face"
<Buchwald> i've been reading bash.org all morning
<Buchwald> so you can imagine what i thought she said

<Cyride> the other day i was in the mall with my wife and we
pass by a pictuer of two girls that are in the playboy bunny
suits and my wife says i bet you wished i look like
that... what is someone supposed to say to that? is "duh" the
proper response to that?

<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my
school ip

<Sanji> I eat people.
<Sanji> I'm a humanitarian

<Allio> lol... when i woke up my arm was completely numb, cos
i'd been sleeping on it... i tried to move it and punched
myself in the nose... it bled for almost 30 minutes

BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at
this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your
load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum

<Hotwire> Crap. i hate having the flu.
<Bananarama> y?
<Hotwire> i sneezed, banged my head on the table, knocked my
coffee over onto my keyboard then as i picked the cup and what
coffee was left in it, i sneezed again, and dropped the mug
right onto my nuts.
<Hotwire> 'WARNING! Illness can cause sterility'

<purem> my sk00l had an anthrax scare today
<purem> it ended up being some poor guys coke :(
<purem> he's prolly gonna get expelled :/
<purem> or at least kicked outta the faculty
<purem> and then executed
<Morris> haha
<Morris> They mistook some coccaine for anthrax?
<purem> yeah
<Morris> hehe
<Morris> Poor guy
<Morris> All he wanted, was to do his lines.
<purem> ya
<purem> it's bad enough that he lost his coke, but he had to
go and quarintine like 600 people into that building for like
4 hours
<purem> heh
<Morris> :/
<purem> rough day
<Morris> Coke heads around the world now lable their coke with
"Not Anthrax" stickers.
<purem> "COCAINE INSIDE"

* kenny has joined #php
* kenny quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<tractor> omg peer killed kenny
<therealpro> that bastard

<Costilled> "I run Linux." T-shirts
<Costilled> availible in sizes L to XXXXL

<doom-> i never seen a canadian battleship
<[C1RCA]> cuz we STEALTH NUGGA!'

<Packet> my boss just walked by one of the contractors that
get canned friday
<Packet> and goes "HEY! I thought I fired you!"
<hmodes> "oh wait, i did..  HAHAHAHAHA!"
<hmodes> i aspire to crush people's souls like that some day

<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL
<Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line?
<nyisles> is it from Speakeasy?
<Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable.  Its faster.
<Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS
<Dekkon> DAMN NERDS

<Rev> my house of 1000 corpses download is done
<ix> what a waste of bandwidth
<@Volsus> unless that's a sims expansion pack

<aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant
<helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?!
<aquacavi> yours or the dogs
<helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S
<helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK

<PitChic> did you all see about that 97 year old woman who was
found alive in the rubble of the earthquake in Iran, after 8
days burried?
<Marcus``> that's fucked up
<Marcus``> old people are like indestructible, as long as they
don't don't fall down and break their hip
<Marcus``> help! i've fallen and I can't get up!
<Marcus``> and a house is on me!

* KeeperX is currently listening to [Your Mom and Dad -
'Having Sex' (0min 12secs long)]

<laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the
morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from
across the room?
<Neal> I can only pick one

<Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
<kibet> which is?
<Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"

<daveemt>: talk
<JoePike>: mmmmmffffgghhhhrrrrruuuuuggggg
<daveemt>: WTF was that?
<JoePike>: I dunno. A copy of Hellen Kellers Twitter post?
<daveemt>: jesus
<JoePike>: Yeah, hell will be warm

<wretched> I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss,
now I just enjoy stealing cars...

<Trent> ohh, i saw brokeback mountain last night <_<
<Ngamer> pretty good?
<Come> I hear Ebert gave it 1 thumb up and a reacharound.

*** Quits: X-7 (irc.canadian-chicks-kick-ass.ca
irc.usa-chicks-are-fat.com)

* DarkScream watched some kid get hit by a car.
(DarkScream) On his bike too.
(DarkScream) The front end of the bike exploded, i almost got
hit by the shrapenal
(DarkScream) I woulda helped.. but.
(DarkScream) I was laughing too hard and stuff.
(Sklathill) o_o;;
(DarkScream) I hurt my neck rolling on the ground.
(Vulpes) I feel less bad about laughing when I read about it,
now.
(DarkScream) Laughing, of course.
(Riffraff) ...is the kid okay?
(DarkScream) Of course not.

<InuYasha> I have no friends
<InuYasha> FINE
<InuYasha> SCREW YOU GUYS
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full
effect of alphabet soup?)
<Urch> I give him a minute
<Urch> 3
<Urch> 2
<Urch> 1
--> InuYasha ([email protected]) has joined #
bobandgeorge
<InuYasha> I forgot my wallet
* InuYasha grabs it
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full
effect of alphabet soup?)

<drdink> blue used to be such a nice color
<drdink> now it means "FUCK IT BROKE"

<Pornosaur> My mom gave me one of those plants you can't kill
<Pornosaur> I think it commited sucicide

<an_ass733> You know what's funny?
<an_ass733> The current Slim Fast ad.
<an_ass733> The women in it say "It's so easy to lose weight
with Slim Fast"
<an_ass733> And the fine print at the bottom of the screen
says "Losing weight is not easy."

<dreamkast0r> This is the abosolute worst joke I've ever found
on a string cheese wrapper.
<kingLatency> what is it?
<dreamkast0r> "What happened to the fireproof, unbreakable,
shockproof, waterproof watch?"
<dreamkast0r> "It is lost!"
<dreamkast0r> They just aren't trying anymore.
<dreamkast0r> That's not a joke.
<dreamkast0r> It's a sad story.

<DB> So, anyone have a secret to immortality they would like
to share with me?
<Nidoking> Don't die.