bash.org archive

* typobox43 looks for life
<Marie> try out of IRC :p
<typobox43> WHAT?!
<typobox43> :P
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> you mean there is such a place?
<Marie> you know, close the IRC screen and sign offline? :)
* typobox43 shudders at the though
<typobox43> *thought
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> my vocal organs are underdeveloped... i don't
think i'd get very far
<typobox43> although i think i'd win a thumb war in a
heartbeat
<Craig> join #reallife
<Craig> ?
<typobox43> --- Cannot join #reallife (Channel is invite
only).

<MogKnight> I need a button that makes me go forward in time
<@Ushi> They have that.
<@Ushi> It's called liqour.

visualwealth: you know whats funny?
visualwealth: i was writing my paper for like 8 hours straight
now
visualwealth: and ive achieved more in last two hours than the
six hours before
visualwealth: i really have some concentration issues
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: seriously...
onkeybutt87: maybe you should go to, like, a concentration
camp

<Hell_Patrol> I wish the girl of my dreams would stop fucking
haunting my dreams, I wish death upon the stupid bitch

<InaneCathode> Oh dear god, i just drank the most vile
substance known to man
<|D-X|> pepsi?

<@Beannie|A> my girlfriend's horny :) and im 'helping' her
with it hehehe
<@Beannie|A> 'sok, im horny too
<@Beannie|A> and shes helping me
<mnkymajik> and ur on mirc?

<Chris_A> Can you wait tables, Mime?
<Mime> No, but I can kill people.
<Chris_A> Failing that, can you bring deadly vengeance upon
your en-- ahh, you've worked in a resturant before? Fantastic.

<SO|Rancor> go use one of them stupid translators
<SO|Rancor> i used one once for spanish
class...............and the teacher almost got me kicked out
of school for accidentally saying your a fat old man who loves
cock
<SO|Rancor> but the sentence in english was the man owned some
chickens:-/

Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard?
Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR
SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest
with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your
throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your
chest.
Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically
what you're getting.
Centimetro: Wtf

<Rav3n> does anyone know a good irc client for mac?
<Luna> who is mac?

<@Dock> Water freezes faster the higher you are, I believe.
<@phrozen> nice
<@phrozen> next time i'll use the fridge upstairs

< ice> mirc is like homosexuality. I respect it, but it's for
others =]

<SDHawk> dreamweaver is for dense idiots
<OneiWilly> dreamweaver is good use it
<SDHawk> I rest my case

* NtG puts on his glasses with lenses thicker than the glass
on the popemobile
<NtG> the contact lens version is only good if you can fit
half a tennis ball in your eye socket

* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.

<faR_away-> i won 30 grand
<faR_away-> so i have some $$$$
<Toy-MaCHiNE> did u really
<faR_away-> no i'm just kidding
<Toy-MaCHiNE> you wouldnt be here if u had 30 grand
<faR_away-> i know
<faR_away-> i'd be at mcdonalds

<KodiaK> fuck the oil companies
<KodiaK> 73.9 cents for gas
<KodiaK> why dont they just add a retractable dildo to each
gas pump
<KodiaK> so while you fill your tank up, it can fuck you in
the ass while you do it

<pathogen> <(^_^<)
<pathogen> (>^_^)>
<pathogen> kirby dances
<pathogen> for money
<pathogen> <(^_^<)
<pathogen> (>^_^)>
<pathogen> <(^_^<)
<pathogen> (>^_^)>
<pathogen> <(^_^<)
<pathogen> (>^_^)>
<pathogen> <(O_O)>
<pathogen> cha-cha-cha!
<kermit> gay

(|Chris) CNN (Las Vegas, NV) New York has NOT been bombed.
David Copperfield has come forward and stated that, "It was
all just mirrors. I'm sorry that it got out of hand. This was
just a publicity stunt that went horribly wrong."

<Daleks|> guys i'm seeking for mid 90's hip hop song
<Daleks|> that going like this "na, na na na na, na na na na
na..."
<asterax> ...

KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office
manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're
talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like
that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak
to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for
yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so
special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS
YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click*

(pervert) roy: get off your "would be heterosexual if i had
enough options to have a preference" ass and go get some :P

AoD> Hey.  Would anyone here have paid money to kick Saddam
out of power?
<dubuto> Sure.
<AoD> Pick a figure.
<dubuto> I heard the Iraq thing cost 63odd billion.
<AoD> What would it have been worth to you to get rid of him?
<AoD> OUt of your pocket.
<dubuto> Tough question.
<AoD> It cost us 220 dollars each.
<Meadow_Boxer> Ain't that some shit
<AoD> Could have been worse.
<AoD> Hell, at 220 dollars a pop, I'm game for another tyrant!
<Gavok> How much to eliminate Whoopie Goldberg?

Sam: what is flash like from your PoV as a proper programmer?
Pete: flash is like if java, C# and visual basic had a
threesome
Pete: and did not use protection

<Dracon> weird.. seems like no matter what i do, cpu usage
never shows 0.0%.

<Jetsuo> Ew, Ashlee Simpson is #1 on the Billboards. Jetsuo
must go kill a kitten now.
<KitBoxPocket> Jetsuo: every time you kill a kitten, God
masturbates.
<Jetsuo> lmao
<KitBoxPocket> You dont want God flogging his holy log, do
you?
<Nyschashi-Seikun> when god ejaculates, it snows
<KitBoxPocket> Oh, snow day, sweet
<Jetsuo> and when God craps?
<KitBoxPocket> A republican is elected
<Jetsuo> XD
<KitBoxPocket> "Mommy! Mommy! Every time a Republican gets
elected, it means God just had a really great shit!'

<Chiffy> hah
<Chiffy> I was at a local skateboard shop with my mom
<Chiffy> and I look up and see a deck with a picture of a
drunk mexican screwing a crocodile and I laugh
<Chiffy> she looks up
<Chiffy> and mentions something like 'oh animal planet
crocodile guy'
<Chiffy> it took about 5 seconds for her to go 'uh, wait'

<Pest> i was talking to a gurl at school
<Pest> her name was nicole
<Koen> heh :)
<Pest> she was like how are you doing today
<Pest> i went
<Pest> well im alright..but id be better if someone named
nicole was slobbing my knob
<Koen> rofl
<Koen> :(
<Pest> she smacked me
<Pest> :/

*** Now talking in #hardcoremp3
*** Topic is 'Welcome to #hardcoremp3, fred dursts phone #
310-865-1000  finally a use for www.dialpad.com PRANK THAT
SOB'

<StormCyko> i should get rich by making a gym for nerds with
treadmills etc with LCD screens and internet access
<Gwala> StormCyko: you know that kinda sounds cool.
<AlpViper> you need incentive to make them run
<AlpViper> the screens would have to be powered by the running
* @Engush notes that most nerds who would go near a gym
<StormCyko> heh
<AlpViper> I know, make it if they drop below their targit HR/
speed their net link turns off
<Engush> hahaha
<StormCyko> or have the bandwidth relative to their speed
<AlpViper> wed have asian counter-strike players dieing in
front of computers a lot more often

<kmad> someone should make insecure-or-not.com
<kmad> and instead of 1-10
<kmad> it would just have a 'yes'

<Lyssa> 4 days and I'm 16!
<Lyssa> I am 15.987066 years old
<Spazz`> 4 days and we can have legal sex0r in colorado!  >:D
<Lyssa> ...
<Lyssa> 4 days and I'm 12**
<Spazz`> We can have legal sex0r in Kentucky!
<Spazz`> >:D
<Lyssa> hahahah
<Koloran> ur not related
<Spazz`> Oh shit.  :(

<[PhReAk]> i have a problem, i have an +++ATH0 modem bomber
but when i use it it disconnects me from the internet, what is
the problem?

<HF> uhm...  from CNET Shopping...  This Western Digital
Raptor WD360GD .... Its data transfer rate of 150
megabits-per-second is relatively fast, compared to the
typical hard drive.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD2500JD .... Compared to
a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150
megabits-per-second is relatively slow.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD1200JD .... Compared to
a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150
megabits-per-second is fairly standard.
<HF> Well at least they cover all the bases
<HF> "Goldie Locks and the Three Hard Drives"

<iretd> BTW, when you see 'TS' in a movie pr0n header, it
stands for 'transexual' or 'transvestite'.
<dalias> hahaha iretd
<techlord> heh
<dalias> did you learn that the hard way?
<iretd> dalias, sure did. Was hard intended pun? :)
<iretd> There was something more to that chick. Couldn't quite
put my finger on it. And then there it was. Something I
wouldn't wanna put my finger on.

<Toll> well lets see. moses was supposed to have lived some
800 years... and had a number of wives... could it be that he
died at 75 but looked 800 after haveing lived with more then
one
<CBA> Those were dog years.

<DTOX> I just got an e-mail about setting up a 3some
<DTOX> MSN WHORES
<vermifuge> DO IT DOUG
<DTOX> they might wonder where "Steve" is when a 30 year old
web developer shows up and says "Let's fuck"

<+MrCuban-> File Server Online Trigger:« @ILOVETHECOCK »
Sends:«0» Queues:«0/15» MOTD: -= over 75gig of gay porn !!! =-
I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n 
<@Ostritch-> @ILOVETHECOCK
<scissors> Hahaha your a gay lover
« Ostritch- » ?
« Ostritch- » no i wanted to erm
« Ostritch- » download porn
« Ostritch- » for a friend of a friend
« Ostritch- » who has a gay
« Ostritch- » cousin
<scissors> LOL

<Tetsuro> You have a blog?
<Kat> dude
<Kat> I'm an angsty suburbian teenager
<Kat> and you're asking me if I have a WEBLOG?

<JMPZ> Either you are too horny for you're own good, or I
am...
<Joshua> i don't know what that means...
<Joshua> 'too horny'?
<Joshua> usually once you get too horny the problem solves
itself

<Tirlas> I remember the dream vividly... I don't know how to
express it :-(
<Schroe> My suggestion is to use words and phrases in English
grammatical structure.

<hash---> back everything up on 45rpm vinyl
<ManMower> hash---: I have 80 lbs of porn on vinyl in my
closet
<xbane> manmower: i have 130lbs of porn in my closet
<xbane> (dead hooker)

<Laity> this chick had her friend tell me, she's liked me
since middle school
<Laity> that's over 5 freakin years
<Al_Koholic> haha
<Al_Koholic> Is she hot?
<Al_Koholic> "No."
<Al_Koholic> "She has a hot personality"
<Laity> i think she is
<Laity> well, not amazingly hot
<Al_Koholic> Just a good personality, no?
<Al_Koholic> "She's a great person"
<Laity> i put her pic on the net
<Laity> lemme find it
<Laity> (No, i'm not pathetic, i run our class website)
<Al_Koholic> haha, and that's not pathetic?

<sincere> there was a huge protest here
<sincere> i walked out into the middle of it
<sincere> i was like
<sincere> get away hippies
<sincere> im only trying to get to the liquor store

<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was
stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS

<EFX> What's a dikfor?

<joey-sleepin-workin> at work i got a email asking if the mail
server was down
<joey-sleepin-workin> wtf am i sposed to reply to that? :P

<Rainwulf> my laptop cant play CS
<Rainwulf> that doesnt worry me though. 
<Rainwulf> cos i cant either

<WetCuntDelirium> Well quit acting like a nazi, and perhaps
misconceptions won't be developed
<mike> i must have missed the part where i started hating jews
<mike> i did not, however, miss the part where i started
hating "j00"

<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a
joystick in quake

<brah-ca> i get all the chix.. just tell em im an efnet oper

<clompers> if i could, I'd paint my room a dark gray
<clompers> maybe a #666666
<Azi> you can tell you're a web geek when... 
<Azi> you walk into the home improvement store asking for
paint in a shade of #3264AA

<sheep--> you are in a race.. and you pass the person who is
running second, what position are you now?
<exe|> Well... that depends... if you're the right side or not
<FuIru> pass as in overtake, or fall behind?
<sheep--> overtake
<FuIru> then 2nd
<sheep--> heh.. my dad caught be off guard and i said first
<sheep--> he laughed in my face
<FuIru> heh
<exe|> haha
<sheep--> he also said 'what kind of a programmer are you?
hahaha'
<sheep--> :
<sheep--> i got pwned by my dad

<WCMaxi> in Austraila you are only gay if you receive so it is
possible to make people gay!

<#C++:Luggage_> guy in the #vb channel thinks vb is too hard..
so wants to learn assembly..  i advised him against it, but he
thinks it looks easy "nice small words"

<cj_> welp, that was fun.  back to irc.
<cj_> i managed to add a quart of oil to my car before losing
interest in RL.
<cj_> cs?

<@Toilet> you suck
<Bundy> you swallow
<@Toilet> hell, you gargle

(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next
bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows

<LukeIsTerrified> R. Kelly says: "Osama bin Laden is the only
one who knows exactly what I'm going through."
<LukeIsTerrified> I love it.
<Brave-o> He believes he can fly.
<Brave-o> Into buildings.

<0dan0> i have peed like 10 minutes in the last 5 minutes

<Treen> did you hear?  hillary rosen, the lady from the RIAA
will be writing Iraq's new copyright law.
<+Antiarc> Yeah
<Treen> god help those poor fuckers.
<+Antiarc> No kidding
<AshPlissken> Are you shitting us?
<Treen> nope.
<+Antiarc> You know...
<+Antiarc> Actually, that's brilliant.
<+Antiarc> Bush is a freaking genius.
<+Antiarc> See...
<+Antiarc> ...he lets Rosen goes in...
<+Antiarc> ...she sets up copyright law...
<+Antiarc> ...Bush bombs her to free the Iraqi people from
another oppressive dictator.

<s_> my brother put signs up where the bathrooms are
<s_> because i pissed in the hallway last night

<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was
vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this
channel work, I think

(notME) i have a 6 week old kitten
(notME) and my 2 year old cat raped him
(notME) shoved his feline penis in his bum
(notME) i watched it
(notME) i wasn't going to spank him
(notME) d00d no
(notME) i turned around
(notME) and he's balls are smacking my kitten in the ass
(notME) i didn't want to spank him
(notME) cuz it'd only get him off faster

<KidHype> discovery channel should have a droppy tits from
around the world week
* PtitFous undresses then
<MikeDX> except its shown on CNN and called "world famine
report"

<@Gesten> I'm going to cry when my grandchildren look at me
and say: "Grandpa...why'd you let them make everything on the
internet illegal?"
<@Amily> as if it was all your doing? :)
<@Gesten> I should've been born two years earlier so I could
ahve ahd a voice.
<@Amily> you don't have a voice?!?!
<@Amily> you're a mute!
<@Gesten> You didn't know I was a mute?
<@Amily> well i know now, and it makes me immensely happy
<@Gesten> No seriously...my neck hit a countertop when I was a
kid. I can only make high-pitched muffled noises that sound
like squirrels mating.

<ObjBRB> the last time i had a piece of ass was when my finger
ripped thru the toilet paper

* ssjd2 is not kinky, don't put words.....or other things into
my mouth.
* shquar puts words in ssjd2's other orifices.
<ssjd2> arghhhh
* ssjd2 puts ice in shquar's other orifices
<shquar> Oh, yay. That will keep the beer bottles cold. :D
<DFalcon> You guys are reminding me of a site I saw the other
day.

<CowboyNeal> I got email once from someone who said that /.
was "tryin to keep a nigga down"
<CowboyNeal> I told him I didn't appreciate him using that
term to refer to our people
<CowboyNeal> race card played and redealt, muhahaha