bash.org archive

<incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
<incarnate> " "
<cres> i dont get it

<bloodmaster> this guy keeps sending me notices, how do i send
them back?????
<`Trust`> ./notice <nick> <message>
<bloodmaster> ty!
<bloodmaster> ./notice <Tommyboy872> <hello tommy, my name is
john i am from michigan im 16! Im 5 foot 11 inch tall, you
sound cute n we should talk more often ok??>

<Victorian_Skunk> Is there a new virus going around? My
Windows has suddenly changed to another language! I think it's
Croatian.
<Dan> You Got Serbed!

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.

< billn> so pizza hut has that field in the online order form,
for special instructions?
< billn> I put 'driver must beat box.'
< billn> turns out, he could.

GuyGuy: I am so fucking dead, dude.
Bilbo22: What's up?
GuyGuy: Ok, this is gonna take some explanation.
Bilbo22: Go for it.
GuyGuy: Alright. My wife goes crazy when I cum in her. She
really likes the feeling of liquid shooting into her or
something, cause she's absolutely nuts about it. It's like a
fucking fetish.
GuyGuy: Anyway, Last week she went totally overboard with
this. We were having sex, and everything was going great, but
when I said I was about to cum she grabbed me by the shaft,
forcefully yanked me out of her, got this fucking jar from the
drawer in the nightstand, and collected my fucking semen in
it.
Bilbo22: What the fuck?
GuyGuy: Yeah. Weird ass shit.
Bilbo22: No, I mean the fact you're telling me this shit. I
don't want to hear this.
GuyGuy: It's important dude, hear me out.
Bilbo22: Fine, Fine.
GuyGuy: Anyway, I was asking what the fuck she was up to and
she tells me she wants to save up my jism so she can take it
all at once. So she sticks the jar in the fridge and tells me
we can't have any more sex until I fill the thing entirely.
GuyGuy: And long story short, I just don't got that much juice
in me, so after a week of trying to jack it until I could fill
it, my penis felt like it was gonna burst. So I decided to
cheat, and topped it off with some of this dove soap she has,
cause it looks a lot like semen.
Bilbo22: Oh dear god, I know where this is going.
GuyGuy: So I give her the filled jar all indignant like cause
she made me do this, and she promised me lots of kinky sex for
it.
GuyGuy: Then she pulls a fucking turkey baster out of her
dresser, sucks up the contents of the jar, sticks the baster
in her pussy, and lets it rip.
GuyGuy: As it turns out, Soap apparently burns like a
motherfucker when you put it in a woman's pussy.
Bilbo22: Oh shit man. When the fuck was this?
GuyGuy: Like, ten minutes ago.
Bilbo22: Then what the fuck are you doing on AIM!?
GuyGuy: Are you kidding? She's been in the bathroom for the
past ten minutes screaming like a fucking banshee.
GuyGuy: I needed leverage. If she murders me now, I've got a
witness who can testify against her.
GuyGuy: Oh shit, she's coming out now. If you don't hear from
me in a few days, call the cops!
Bilbo22: I'll be sure to check under the porch for your body.

<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around
outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb
<Courtney> mkay hb
<Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE
<Courtney> The black people?
<Phyxius> NO, MY GATES

<Scotty> Oh my fucking God. I just spent the best 20 dollars
of my life. On a bet, anyway.
<Scotty> After school, me and my friends went to the drug
store.
<Scotty> And my friend brought a box of condoms to the
counter.
<Scotty> And she scanned them.
<Scotty> And he acted like he didn't have enough money.
<Scotty> He was like, "Shit, I'll be right back."
<Scotty> So he puts the condoms back, and comes back with a
bag of rubber bands in one hand and a box of plastic wrap in
the other.
<Scotty> Oh my fucking God
<Scotty> Until the day I die
<Scotty> I will never forget that lady's face.
<DanT> haha
<Scotty> Best bet I've ever lost.

< Andys> oh dear
< Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended
colon
< Andys> eg.   :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to
non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"

AngryGackt: hey
Kagato: yo
AngryGackt: did you hear about lindze's dad?
Kagato: ..nikki....
Kagato: you just like..
Kagato: scared me... so bad...
Kagato: cuz when I first read that it looked like "did you
hear that Lindze's dead?"
AngryGackt: OH
Kagato: I swear my heart jumped into my throat.
AngryGackt: NO
AngryGackt: gahhhh
Kagato: I was chewing on my heart and freaking out until I
reread it.
AngryGackt: jeeeeessus
Kagato: ........>_<
AngryGackt: *flails*
Kagato: what happened to her dad? ::relaxes::
AngryGackt: He's dead.
Kagato: ........

<+darthpony> geez dude
<+darthpony> with my last gf
<+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip
<+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I
wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please"
<+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you
fucking bitch"

* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.
<FraX> How much blood did they want today?
<Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you
before they poke you with the needle?
<FraX> Yeah.
<Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking
all the sex related questions as "No".
<Kederaji> Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them
"No."
<Kederaji> The bastard.
<FraX> Was he right?
<Kederaji> He was, but that's not the point!

<Josh> I don't understand why churches and 'family groups'
spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence-only
instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs
fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of
ensuring virginity.

lemonlimeskull: One guy keeps following me from chat room to
chat room begging to blow me because he found out I live about
a half hour away.
lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I
posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass.
lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them -
same location at the same time.
lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy
will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more
mellow.
lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.

(@Dreki) I just realized something.
(@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th
letter, right?
(@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.

<implexor> some of my friends were smoking pot in a car. After
some laughing they started to cruise around town. Drove for a
while and while going round a roundabout one of them noticed
that it would be funny to drive on it backwards. It was funny
until the inevitable happened and they've hit another car.
<dsarr> lol
<implexor> w8 there's more. They went silent and just sit
frightened in the car. Police came very quickly and started to
talk to the driver in the car behind them. Then the policeman
came to their drivers door, my friend opens the window, and
the policeman goes "don't worry guys, the bloke in the other
car is so drunk, that he's telling stories you were driving
backwards".

<ChaosTeacup> playing fucking?
<ChaosTeacup> fucking isnt a game, its a very very serious
sport
<Chiri> it can be quite competitive
<ChaosTeacup> although its best if you end in a draw
<Chiri> but the professional leagues aren't very respected as
a career path
<ChaosTeacup> its best to play in the minors
<ChaosTeacup> wait
<ChaosTeacup> no

<Myrf> I was giving some guy a job interview today, and it
turned out he didn't know who the Beatles were.
<Myrf> So, of course, I had to turn him down :P
<bozz> wtf, a bunch of people don't know who the beatles are
<bozz> whyd you have to turn him down just because of that
<Myrf> Dude, I work at a RECORD STORE.

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:
\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

<arkan> You know, you really ought to have a bra with 403:
forbidden on it.
<Labyrinth> And you really ought to have a pair of boxers with
404: not found.

<dura> I really think I'm a moron.
<dura> I just now realised that Neo spelled backwards is one.

< Lapkawitz> and you can tell she's really japanese becase her
genitals produce a forcefield that pixelates the air around
them

<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR
movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
<MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell
loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
<MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while
screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas
could have done it better."
<MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and
shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to
your seat.
<MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a
sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
<MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
<MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf
went to Hogwarts
<MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with
"Mr. Anderson."
<MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at
the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
<MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive
to Ethiopians
<MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the
end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
<MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of
you on the back of the neck.
<MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle
of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
<MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout
"Barbecue!"
<MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the
next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to
assassinate Frodo Baggins
<MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war,
stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
<MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's
what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get
kicked out of the theatre.
<MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire,
"Where's Waldo?"
<MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is
a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
<MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
<MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter
and wander around looking terribly confused.

M8525888: here, you gotta press a and e really fast
M8525888: æ
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
...
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
M8525888: æ i o u
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae

* @darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out
<@Bizarre> (

<t0mato> anyone here knows how fast will my computer run after
a registry cleaning?
<x5ga> We have a formula to calculate the percentage of speed
gained
<x5ga> (E*c/100)*a
<x5ga> E is the number of errors cleaned
<x5ga> c is the number of cores your CPU has
<x5ga> a is 0

A: > Try playing Quake 4 on an Intel Video card. Let us know
how you get on.
B: > It looks as good as on an ATI/Nvidia card so far...
B: > Hang on.. frame 2 is coming up.. yup still looks good.

<Moot> masturbatin time
<Moot> I'm livin dangerously
<Moot> I'm not gonan check to see if my mom is asleep yet

<dm> I discovered that you'd never get an answer to a problem
from Linux Gurus by asking. You have to troll in order for
someone to help you with a Linux problem.
<dm> For example, I didn't know how to find files by contents
and the man pages were way too confusing. What did I do? I
knew from experience that if I just asked, I'd be told to read
the man pages even though it was too hard for me.
<dm> Instead, I did what works. Trolling. By stating that
Linux sucked because it was so hard to find a file compared to
Windows, I got every self-described Linux Guru around the
world coming to my aid. They gave me examples after examples
of different ways to do it. All this in order to prove to
everyone that Linux was better.
* ion has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dm> brings a tear to my eye... :') so true..
<dm> So if you're starting out Linux, I advise you to use the
same method as I did to get help. Start the sentence with
"Linux is gay because it can't do XXX like Windows can". You
will have PhDs running to tell you how to solve your problems.
<dm> this person must be a kindred spirit of mine

<Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my
brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part

<mattb> funeral was for my uncle
<[OmegentooX]> Did he die?
<mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion

<TB>  I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life
Line.
<TB>  I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB>  I told them I was suicidal.
<TB>  They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck

<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes,
what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;

<emufreak> I HATE CHANNEL TOPICS
<emufreak> WHY MUST THEY EXIST
<emufreak> AND WHY DO I STILL CLICK THEM WHEN THEY END IN .JPG

<7ruth> Oh my god! I'll be right back, parents are making me
barbeque.
<Sentral1>Im pretty sure that was a literal version of
'omgbrbbbq'
<Xthirteen>yep

<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20%
off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and
I have lots of other animals anyway, so a rabbit or two might
be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of
slang for neon-coloured dildos with anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.

EvilEye:i just found out that i have competition for student
government president
EvilEye:hes blind
EvilEye:so heres my campaign slogan: "I have a vision"

<DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action
figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.

<+TheUltra4sshole> I mean, we started 2 nights before,
recruiting strippers to show up
<+TheUltra4sshole> things got out of hand, and we end up with
10 kegs, and who knows how many imported sluts
<+TheUltra4sshole> I'm not talking tundra wookies
<+TheUltra4sshole> I mean, decent-looking chicks
<+TheUltra4sshole> they'd ranks a 6 or 7 here, but are fucking
TEN in alaska
<+TheUltra4sshole> party goes awesome
<+TheUltra4sshole> don't catch any of the game
<+TheUltra4sshole> we all pass out by about 3 am
<+TheUltra4sshole> first call is at 6 am
<+TheUltra4sshole> and being professional alcoholics, we
rigged the central firealarm to go off 10 minutes before first
call
<+TheUltra4sshole> well, we all wake up to the fire alarm,
clean the shithole up, then go down to PT formation
<+TheUltra4sshole> just expecting a 10-mile detox run or
something gay like that
<+TheUltra4sshole> 1SG says we're having a health and welfare
inspection
<+TheUltra4sshole> where he goes through everbody's room and
fucks you up for anything that's out of place
<+TheUltra4sshole> well... we had 10 empty kegs and a buncha
passed out whores in our building...
<+TheUltra4sshole> not to mention the little shit like bottle
caps and whatnot
<+TheUltra4sshole> thank GOD he went to consolidated barracks
first, so we had about an hour to get everything cleaned up
<+TheUltra4sshole> you wanna talk about a buncha men working
as a team...
<+TheUltra4sshole> we had the buffer going, you heard nothing
but vacuums, sweeping, mopping, and calls for the medic to get
a hooker with an IV
<+TheUltra4sshole> pure mayhem
<+TheUltra4sshole> we get all the sluts out of our own rooms,
and since the dayroom only had a little bit of furniture and
we can work on it together, we all hit it at once
<+TheUltra4sshole> well...there was one chick left over
<+TheUltra4sshole> still passed out, topless in a leather
skirt
<+TheUltra4sshole> when we heard CQ on the first floor call
"AT EASE!"
<+TheUltra4sshole> fucking panic
<+TheUltra4sshole> Aubaugh, being the smart crazy jew he was,
stole a buncha rappelling gear from mountaineering
<+TheUltra4sshole> tied her passed-out ass up in a swiss-seat
<+TheUltra4sshole> (mind you, she was wearing JUST a skirt,
and a swiss seat goes between the legs)
<+TheUltra4sshole> tie the 120 to the center pillar, tied her
figure 8 off in a bowline, and pushed her out the window
<+TheUltra4sshole> she hung there for FORTY FIVE FUCKING
MINUTES
<+TheUltra4sshole> We pass the inspection
<+TheUltra4sshole> BUT
<+TheUltra4sshole> as 1SG was walking out of the barracks, he
walked around the outside looking for cigarette butts and
caught us hauling her naked ass back in the window...
<+TheUltra4sshole> Fail
<+TheUltra4sshole> we had such a good chance to get away with
it...
<+TheUltra4sshole> man was that a long week for charlie
company, 2-1 infantry

steve: whats your opinion on censorship
insomniacdude007: **** censorship

<Zoli> I wrote some norse death metal rap earlier today
<Zoli> of course I'd recite it for you!
<Zoli> YO I'M A BLONDE MOTHERFUCKER AND I WORSHIP THOR
<Zoli> I'M GUNNA USE MY AXE BUST DOWN YOUR DOOR
<Zoli> SCREAMING VALHALLA AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS
<Zoli> I GOT PHAT RHYMES AND I SPEAK IN TONGUES
<Zoli> RAGNAROK THE PARTY LIKE A VALHALLA PARTY
<Zoli> RAGNAROK THE PARTY LIKE A VALHALLA PARTY
<Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby)
<Zoli> NORSE (gunna kick your ass and I don't mean maybe)
<Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby)
<Zoli> NORSE (LONG BLONDE HAIR THAT IS SOFT AND WAVY)
<Zoli> fin.

<philcostin> a bad workman blames his fools
<philcostin> *tools
<philcostin> damn keyboard

<kinzey> i want to go out with a girl
<kinzey> and lay in the field
<kinzey> real romatic like
<kinzey> and just stare at the full moon
<kinzey> and she'll say something along the lines of "the
moon's so beautiful tonight"
<kinzey> and i'll just be like
<kinzey> "that's no moon... THAT'S A BATTLESTATION!!!"
<kinzey> and then run to the car and leave her ass there
<Chris> wow

<redwyre> kez said you you are a whiney bitch
<TraumaPony> Haha
<redwyre> and that you smell
<TraumaPony> Heh
<redwyre> and that you're gay
<TraumaPony> Lol
<redwyre> and that you like visual basic
<TraumaPony> THAT CUNT

<Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME
<Dogan> So my teacher's friend's friend or something
<Dogan> She was dogsitting one day
<Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the
floor, right?
<Nightryde> how embarrassing
<Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to
the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
<Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it
in a freaking SUITCASE
<Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train
through Chicago
<Zeelot> oh mannnn
<Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
<Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
<Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things"
<Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE
CASE
<Nightryde> AHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???

<Jaayy> I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
<Naive-EOC> Dead?
<Derid-EOC> In the Field?
<Ball-licker> In jail?
<Humur> Killing each other?
<Naive-EOC> Stealing?
<Sailym> Covered in blood?
<Humur> 5$ a piece?
<Derid-EOC> Stupid?
<Jaayy> ...
<Jaayy> BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS!  I LIKE MY COFFEE
BLACK!

<FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
<FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
<kolby> you still in english?

<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was
empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation,
said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a
dirty look

<sd> I was once trying to explain to an exec why his account
would never be absolutely secure.
<sd> Me: "If somebody wants your account information badly
enough, he's going to get it. He doesn't have to hack the
system, he can just get it from you."
<sd> Exec: "That's crazy, I'd never give anyone my password."
<sd> Me: "Imagine you come home and find someone's broken in.
He's got a gun to your daughter's head, and he tells you he's
going to shoot in ten seconds if you don't give him your
password. What would you do?"
<sd> Exec: [long pause] ... Which daughter?
<sd> To this day I still don't know if he was joking. But I no
longer use that example.

lemonlimeskull: So I'm sitting in Hardee's (Carl's JR for
anyone here one the west coast)
lemonlimeskull: This huge African American dude sits across
from me at the booth. Plenty of tables around, of course,
since this is Hardee's.
lemonlimeskull: Since I don't usually have uninvited guests at
fast food restaurants, I'm naturally a bit put off while
simultaniously wondering what the deal is.
lemonlimeskull: The guy goes "Hey, man what you do for a
living?"
lemonlimeskull: I must've looked really confused, but I manage
to answer "Game designer... Why?"
lemonlimeskull: The guy sits there for a good thirty seconds,
looking out the window over my shoulder.
lemonlimeskull: Then he finally looks me straight on and says
"Good, lemme ask you a question..."
lemonlimeskull: "Why don't Pacman wanna eat eyes?"
lemonlimeskull: I just gave him this really quizzical look,
then he gets up and leaves.
lemonlimeskull: After a few seconds of wondering wtf that was
all about, I look out the window over my shoulder and see
about five police cars slowly driving off into the distance.
lemonlimeskull: The worst part is...... WHY doesn't Pacman
wanna eat eyes?!

XCodymauX: I've been killing pimps all day and still don't
have enough money for that sword of light.
l33t 1nt3gr4l: the hell are you playing, GTA: Middle Earth?

<Richad34> Oy I had a bad night
<Richad34> I couldn't sleep, and had no idea what to do. My
parents are still awake, it was midnight, and I was bored.
<Richad34> So then I remembered that I had a drama
presentation the next class and I played a rich guy so I
needed a suit.
<Richad34> I take out my suit, and get dressed. You know, the
works. I even took out my top hat and my cane.
<Richad34> Now it gets a little weird. I had to go downstairs
in order to see how I looked as it's the only place with a
full body mirror. My parents sleep on the same floor as me so
I didn't want to wake them up.
<Richad34> So I got this idea. I decided to turn on my TV so
that my parents thought people were talking outside, and my
footsteps would be noises they were making. I thought it would
work, I was tired.
<Richad34> I ran downstairs, checked myself out. I looked
fine, so I went back into my room
<Richad34> Now by then the running in a suit had made me kind
of itchy (down south), so I quickly undo my pants and release
what was stuck and to relieve my itch with my hand.
<Richad34> And my mom opens the door to the room and all I do
is freeze in surprise
<Richad34> I don't know what she was thinking, but I can tell
you the following
<Richad34> It was midnight, I was in a suit and top hat, and I
appeared to be jacking off to George from Seinfeld.
<Richad34> And my mom just stood there in disbelief
<Richad34> I can't tell you what ensued, but it involved
attempted exorcism and lots of crying
<Richad34> Best night ever

<Ocher> hey guyz
<Ocher> I SUCK DICK FOR COKE
<Ocher> o god...
<Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<Ocher> IM A HUGE FAG
<Ocher> yep...
<Ocher> he does...
<Ocher> MAKE BONDAGE AND BEASTIALITY NATIONAL PASTTIMES
<Ocher> argh brb
* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES

<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to
page 404...."
<ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it"
<ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404"
<ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!"
<ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining  to my class
what 404 meant
<ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest
fucking nerd EVER
<TheTik> wow... speechless.

<SmilinBob> !8ball... what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Ask again later.
<SmilinBob> !8ball what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Outlook not so good.

<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right

<egof>I'm not that nerdy, I've only seen 30% of the star trek
episodes
<kaj>if you know what percentage of the star trek episodes you
have seen, you are inarguably nerdy
<egof>it's unarguably
<kaj>you are not helping your case

<jack> Urk. I just typed "a" instead of "10"
<anubis> jack : someone must have cast a hex on you

<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file

<Moonpie> one time, in middle school, some people let some
pigs onto the campus. They painted on the pigs "1", "2", and
"4". The faculty spent weeks looking for the third one.

<ethiopia> i'm starving

<Rachel> 15. Mycophobia is the fear of?
<Vaen> MY COCK
<Skylar> small things
<Vaen> fuck you

x-c0n: Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl
said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered,
"Simba".

<NaStyChoC> hey babe asl?
<sweetangelic> hi, 14/f/aus ^^
<NaStyChoC> ive a real big cock..
<sweetangelic> o how big??
<NaStyChoC> 9in
<sweetangelic> dats prty big, mines only 8
<NaStyChoC> ok
<NaStyChoC> wait wtf

<JayQue> britneys sister is pregnant
<madbox> orly?
<Quazgaa> vaginally, would be my guess

<Naudiz> my IQ is high enough that I can do anything I want
<Naudiz> college means nothing
<netbsd_> What is this almighty IQ you have and what
self-scoring IQ test gave you the idea you have it?
<Naudiz> I'm a Mensa member .. I allready mentioned this.
<netbsd_> So you're in the top two percent of the population?
<netbsd_> This is me being impressed.
<Naudiz> no actually ... only 1 in 50 people qualify to be in
Mensa

<comwalk> Remember, here in the U.S.A, we have reached a new
age.
<comwalk> NOBODY is responsible for their own actions.
<comwalk> Remember that.
<comwalk> Holy shit! I killed somebody! Bob made me do it!
<comwalk> Bob: Joe made me do it!
<comwalk> Joe: I blame the media!
<comwalk> Media: Videogames.
<comwalk> Videogames: Personal responsibility?
<comwalk> Personal Responsibility: <AFK>

<Korras> friendship among women: one doesn't come home one
night, and tells her bf that she spent the night with a female
friend of hers. bf calls 10 of her friends, and none know a
thing.
<Korras> friendship amongst men: same thing happens. man says
he spent the night at a friends place. gf calls 10 of his
friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say
he's still there.

<hoLy> Ouch
<hoLy> my friend is giving me a tattoo with a bic pen and a
knife right now
<hoLy> hurts so much but he almost finished
<hoLy> Hes finishing up the I in SATIN
<Ruff> ...
<hoLy> Yeah, so it'll say HAIL SATIN
<hoLy> This is gonnna be awesome